Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Justin Castaneda graced us with a fine
guest comic last month and he’s returned again to share his thoughts and have a little fun with the prologue to
The Dark Knight Rises which hit IMAX screens this past weekend. He covers the details so I’ll stall no longer. Here are Justin’s thoughts:
Review: Last week, my girlfriend was lucky enough to score some passes to see The Prologue of The Dark Knight Rises early at the *Navy Pier IMAX Theater in Chicago. I went back and forth with myself whether or not to read any reviews of the six minute scene that was set to play in front of Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Ultimately my curious nature got the best of my hardcore no spoilers fanboy-ism. I really did not know what to expect or what I was going to see and well, I couldn't wait to find out for myself. One thing I read (which I'm sure all of you know by now) was that Bane's voice was hard to understand. The other thing I read was that followed by Bane's intro was a montage of scenes that were taken from the trailer which was showing in front of Sherlock Holmes 2.
When we got to the screening, the line appeared to go for miles but surprisingly everyone got a seat. The lights went out and the prologue began. Six minutes later the lights went back on. There was dead silence for about 10 seconds until some woman freaked out and said, "Oh my God!" and began clapping.
Having read the bit about Bane's voice being hard to understand, I felt I was prepared enough for it. However, when he began speaking I didn't expect it to be that distorted. It sounded like an old Englishman breathing through an oxygen mask that made him sound like a *Transformer*. No joke.
On the car ride home, my girlfriend and I were talking about how amazing the entire prologue was minus the Bane voice. We are hoping that it was an early sound mix and that they will tweak the audio before it's release in 2012.
Days later we saw the full trailer in front of MI: Ghost Protocol and had that bit of faith restored. Not that we lost a lot of it anyway. The prologue still got me feeling all tingly in my bat-underoos just not as tingly as when we were first introduced to the Joker back in 2008. But the trailer was better than the prologue and the few lines Bane did speak were easier to understand.
I would still highly recommend getting into an IMAX theater that's showingit and check it out for yourself. It really preps you for what to expect with this new villain and how far Nolan's been pushing this IMAX format. It's epic on such a grand scale.
Rating: Prologue - 8/10 Trailer - 10/10
About the Comic: The comic came from all the hoopla over Bane's voice and random jokes on the car ride home. I think at one point I imitated it by putting my hand over my mouth and making whining muffled noises. That's how we ended up at Peanuts.
Thanks so much to Justin for his time and effort. He’s a pro guest comicer and is welcome to have fun in the JLCM world whenever it suits him. Please check out Justin’s page which focuses on signature prints he’s been offering. Fantastic stuff. Well worth your time and money.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
