Starring: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, Ramon Rodriguez, Isabel Lucas

Directed by: Michael Bay

Paramount Pictures

The Official Site of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Discuss Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on the boards!

“Hey, How was Transformers 2?� Ask this question of anyone that saw the massively successful second installment of the action-figures-turned-cartoon-turned-major-motion-picture this weekend and you’ll be met with one of two reactions. Hesitation… followed by reluctant agreement that, “It was fun.� Or, your subject will view it as an open invitation to mock the film’s faults including it’s similarities to T4 (“sharing parts� will never be the same) and or its racistbots, two twins that make Jar Jar Binks look like a model citizen and whom, for some reason, receive more screen time than any other robot in the film. They are a lazy grasp at comic relief, which is something that can be hugely important in a film like this, but a robot calling someone a “punk ass bitch� is about as clever and timely as an old white lady saying, “Fo Shizzle.�

In Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen we learn of an ancient Decepticon’s plot to destroy the Earth. His name is “The Fallen� (Hey, just like in the title!) and he has returned to Earth thousands of years after his first encounter with mankind to drain their Sun. As second adventures go it’s a fine upgrade offering a larger threat, larger action and larger robots – three of the biggest items on this movie’s checklist. After a clunky start of reintroducing the characters and catching the audience up on where everyone ended up the film focuses taking a linear approach to its storytelling. Characters come and go but it all feels like the same adventure, which is a huge improvement over the originals unnecessarily crowded story. As with the original Transformers there is a complete lack of character development. We spend a lot of time with Sam and Mikaela (she’s still hot and he’s replaced “Nonono� with “Gogogo�.) They offer the all-important human perspective and their story is a pleasure to follow. Especially when they’re relationship is threatened and they finally encounter some pissed off robots. The Transformers themselves though, both good and bad, are written so thinly. Major characters are constantly put in danger, some of them even die, but why should we care? Because Sideswipe cut a car in half? That’s cool and all but it tells us nothing about him beyond his willingness to sharpen his blades before battle. At least he’s prepared, right?

Why should we care about them when we can barely make out what’s happening half the time? Director Michael Bay used to be a master of the action set piece. He could have eight vehicles racing around an exploding building with 20 different people dying and a boat being tossed at Will Smith and everyone in the audience knew exactly what was going on. Foreign objects (i.e. four story robots that are all the same color) are hurting his clarity. Camera pans and Dutch angles, as beautiful as they may be, make it difficult at times for the audience to capture the moment.

At the same time it’s effective in its own little way. I was in awe if only for glimpses of something incredible. It doesn’t hurt that they make full use of the IMAX screen, expanding the visuals at two key moments to pack that extra punch. I craned my neck (willingly and happily) trying to take it all in, at times witnessing a full-scale version of Optimus Prime on the big screen. He’s a truck. That’s kind of a big deal. I may have missed a third of what was going on but it was certainly an experience.

If you were to ask me what I thought of Transformers 2 I would definitely fall into the, “It was fun� camp. It’s missing some of the memorable moments that were littered throughout the first film (though it certainly tries to give every character their moment in the sun. I half expected to see Randy Quaid fly out of a cloud of smoke at the last second and blow up the Decepticon’s ship.) but it delivers every explosion, hot chick hanging off of a motorcycle and metal morphing robot that I hoped it would.

Rating: 7 out of 10 - This is a pretty no nonsense review. I didn’t even mention Devistator’s Balls nor how awesome “Devistator’s Balls� would be as a Rock Band band name. This is one of those films that you could debate forever. I had a friend tell me that Bumble Bee was functionally retarded and I have no idea why. I was more concerned that he was a serial killer. Seriously. He murders like a dozen Transformers in this movie. All he did in the cartoon was drive the human’s around… Perhaps a second comic is in order.

Most movies like this get an easy pass to the DVD shelf, or the new Blu Ray shelf, which is a lot more compact and blue-tinted. Mindless fun often does well on repeat viewings, which is a reasonable criteria for most consumer’s shelf space. How much of it though will be forgettable once it comes time to actually buy it. Will we be too wrapped up in (what comes out this fall?) Old Dogs to remember that Sideswipe cuts somebody in two? I think we’ll be okay.

I don’t really have anything against the Mitsubish Outlander. It’s actually my car and it has treated me well for the last 6 years or so. Not too many kids probably caught Transformers 2 this weekend what with it being super violent and all but I’m betting that the ones who did will be disappointed for at least a week that their cars suck hard by comparison. Cars are pretty impressive inventions. Not “Jet Pack� impressive but still pretty damn good. The youngest generation will never truly embrace them though until they can talk back and punch each other in the face. Oh, and have a face for which they can be punched in.

It was a nice weekend for me at the movies. Transformers 2 was fun and my buddy Drake got me in to the premier of My Sister’s Keeper which, despite the weak assigned seating and getting bumped in the knee accidentally by director Nick Cassavetes, had me weeping like a baby. I know that the majority of the world opted for watching robots pound on each other but this is a movie not to be missed.

On Saturday night I watched a screener of a film called Dead Girl. Dark and twisted but something I’m dying to discuss spoilers about. If you’ve seen it, let me know what you thought. If you haven’t seen it – a review is coming. Hopefully that will do more convincing than this rambling paragraph.

Thanks for swinging by today everyone. More soon.