Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Dragonball Evolution
Starring: Justin Chatwin, Chow Yun-Fat, Emmy Rossum, Jamie Chung, James Marsters, Joon Park, Eriko Tamura, Randall Duk Kim, Ernie Hudson
Directed by: James Wong
Warner Brothers Pictures
The Official Site of Dragonball Evolution
Discuss Dragonball Evolution on the boards!
Feel free to chalk it up to an extreme case of lowered expectations but Dragonball Evolution, a loose adaptation of the popular Japanese anime cartoon about a young man and seven magical spheres, was kinda good. Bad marketing and a lousy box office (4.5 million and an 8th place spot in its opening weekend) be damned, this film is so much better then we’ve been made to believe.
It's the same old story we’ve seen before except instead of a ring, a grail or a sword in the stone we're dealing with dragon balls. Magical orbs that, when gathered together, will grant the collector one true wish. We follow Goku (the very white Justin Chatwin, who drew some rumblings when he was cast in what should have been a Japanese role), an American teenager who sense he’s different but isn’t sure why exactly. Then a green guy drops a house on his grandfather and he begins his journey of self-discovery on a quest to stop that green guy (Lord Piccolo played by an unrecognizable James Marsters) from collecting the Dragonballs and unleashing destruction upon the world. See, I told you – same old thing.
I don’t hesitate in admitting that storytelling is atrocious and the characters as a whole are grossly mishandled. Emmy Rossum and Joon Park presumably play pretty significant characters from the series but they are little more than big-hair window dressing in this adaptation. At the same time Chow Yun-Fat is clearly having the time of his life and certainly making the most of his scenes here as wise Master Roshi. Plus the love story between Chi Chi (Jamie Chung) and Goku, buried beneath the breezy plot, ultimately works pretty well.
Goku of course gets the most coverage and Chatwin (who I’ve loved in movies like The Invisible and War of the Worlds) does a lot with the part. As unlikely as it may seem because of his style and good looks he’s able to sell the scenes where awkwardness prevents him from wooing the girl as capably as he does the scenes where he has to bend air and crush a bad guy. But there’s not enough character development in the story to qualify as a real challenge. Things just move too quickly.
I feel sorry for fans of the series that have to see such a big portion of something they love jammed into less than 90 minutes of adventure. So much must have been lost besides the lead characters ethnicity. Even as someone that has no connection to the source I could still tell that they were rushing through some details that may have made this movie something special.
What is special is a little more obvious. The film has a great sense of humor, never taking itself too seriously nor crossing over into the realm of cartoon comedy. The tone reminded me a lot of the one in Speed Racer with spottier acting and less structure.
That sense of playfulness carries over into everything from Goku’s pointy hair, to the better than average CGI work to the wonderfully creative action sequences. An early scene pits Goku against a pack of school bullies that he promised his grandfather he would never fight. This scene, which won me over early on in the film, has Goku taking out the pack of them and their car without ever throwing a punch. I know it’s something that’s been done before but it was done well enough here to mention.
In fact, the action throughout is worth rementioning. Probably the best action of the year that didn’t involve Vin Diesel jumping off of a moving car or a giant white girl decapitating a robot. Sure there's some obvious wirework but for the most part this is fast, clean and inventive stuff that didn't deserve to be dismissed so quickly.
The movie as a whole is a slightly different story. Dragonball: Evolution is by no means a good film but it was certainly a lot of fun. It’s hard to look at it at not see how it could have been better but I don’t think they were setting out to make some perfectly polished epic that appeals to and pleases everyone. It looks like they set out to make a fun adventure. In that respect this movie, that should have been the disastrous train wreck that the previews warned it might be, is a huge success.
Rating: 7 out of 10 - Okay, do not rush out and see this movie. It’s way too short to pay 10 dollars for and while the effects are something that might be nice on the big screen they’ll be perfectly suitable in 6 months on your flat screen. Save your money and make sure you see this in an environment where you’ll be more likely not to make judgments about the negatives so that you can actually enjoy the positives.
The film is absolutely worth a viewing even though the trailers told us a very different story. The marketing all around was appalling and I think you can point to that as one of the larger reasons the film struggled this past weeked. The oddest thing of all is that the sequel has already been green lit so you’d think they’d want to make sure this one built up a following worth supporting a second go-around. I guess no one is really concerned with momentum in the direct to DVD market…
Before I go on we have an extra special treat today. I was contacted by Brian F. before the film came out asking me if I had plans on seeing it. He identified himself as a fan of the Dragonball series and was curious if I was and what my thoughts would be on the big screen adaptation. I let him know gently that it was one of those movies that I would catch if I had a chance to but that it was kind of a low priority because it a) looked terrible and b) probably wasn’t going to do so well.
Brian then offered up his services. Since he’d be seeing it anyway he offered to write a review for any comic I might want to attach it to. Well that was too good to pass up and his review was good enough that it made me want to check out the movie for myself, which I’m glad that I did.
I still wanted to include the guest review though because it provides a perspective that I cannot. It comes from someone that’s seen and loved the show and that’s a valuable opinion to take a look at. Here is Brian’s review:
As a longtime fan of the manga and anime on which this movie is based, I want to preface this review by saying that it would be absolutely unfair to rate this film on how faithful it stays to the source material. I will be honest, though, and admit that there’s a lot to nerdrage about as far as inconsistencies and flat-out errors.
But never mind that. Dragonball:Evolution presents us with a modern, somewhat Americanized version of Goku’s quest to obtain the titular orbs. Here, in a setup more reminiscent of The Karate Kid than anything else, Goku is a high-school student. For whatever reason, it is well known throughout the school that Goku is “different,” a fact he eventually makes quite clear at a ritzy party thrown by love interest Chi-Chi.
Justin Chatwin does about as well as he possibly could as Goku. Despite being in high school here, Goku is still an idiot when it comes to anything other than martial arts, and Chatwin’s delivery portrays this quite well. He also does a great job conveying Goku’s typical playfulness in battle, particularly in the first half’s more humorous scenes.
The rest of the cast is a mixed bag. Emmy Rossum is odd as Bulma, though the
character simply isn’t presented properly in the movie. This is also the case for Joon
Park’s Yamcha, a character who is almost unnecessary. Jamie Chung’s Chi-Chi, on the other hand, is passable, and Chow Yun-Fat as Master Roshi does have some shining moments.
My biggest gripe about the movie is actually that it is too short. For a movie that is essentially retelling an entire story arc from the Dragonball series, 86 minutes is honestly not enough time. Very little drama is ever built, even in the scenes that need it the most. The ending battle in particular feels rather rushed.
Overall, though, it isn’t a bad film, at least when considered on its own merits. Series fans may loathe the changes, which makes the fact that series creator Akira Toriyama is the movie’s executive producer all the more interesting.
Rating: 6 out of 10
Maybe… You have no idea how much shame I’m experiencing admitting that. It’s really fun though and could make for a nice light movie to cleanse the palate in-between the instant classics of the world.
Street Fighter: the Legend of Chun Li - Street Fighter and Dragonball, to the untrained eye, look pretty much like the same movie. I think the biggest difference is that Street Fighter took itself WAY too seriously. There’s nothing wrong with that per se, it is after all a story about an orphaned child seeking revenge, but it was completely devoid of humor. A laugh or two or the occasional wink at the fans would have done wonders for that stiff and cold adaptation.
I’m actually recommending that you watch it before Dragonball: Evolution though because at the very least it will make you see how terrible Draginball could have been had they actually tried too hard.
So… how accurate is this video to the Dragonball Z series?
I guess I just didn’t watch that much anime as a kid but apparently this sort of thing is pretty common. As often as you see things like this that generalize anime I know for a fact how engrossing the storytelling can be. Not first hand but I had a buddy that got sucked into some of the old serialized cartoons when we were younger. He’d relay the stories to me and they sounded fantastic. I sort of always wished I’d made time for them.
If you’ve got some recommendations for great anime TV please feel free to share with the class.
Well this is one of the longer posts in a while. Another big thanks to Brian S. for sharing his thoughts on the film with all of us. It was fantastic to have that extra bit of insight from someone that’s done the research. If you’d like to add on to the discussion please feel free to swing by the boards and do so. That’s it for now but there will be more tomorrow. Thanks for reading!
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V