Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Wolverine Origins: Internet Leakage
The official site of Wolverine Origins
Discuss Wolverine Origins on the boards
When news sprung up on the last day of March that a work print of next month’s film Wolverine: Origins had showed up online and was being downloaded by every Internet savvy movie pirate on the web I thought, “It’s a few hours early for an April Fools prank isn’t it?” Turns out though that the leak was the real deal. I’ve even had people tell me how good it was, which frankly is just as shocking.
There have been movies leaked in the past but almost never for a film of this size. Wolverine is a major release for Fox and is practically the unofficial kick off of the “summer season”, though one could arguer we’re at least three weeks into it at this point. It being leaked will certainly harm its box office take. Maybe not with the die-hard fans or the average moviegoer that isn’t necessarily aware of the illegal treasure trove of free camcorder movies waiting for them on line but certainly with a big portion of the film’s target audience – people that like to complain about (and watch movies for free) on the Internet.
Over the next month a lot of folks will check it out and spread either the negative or positive buzz most likely not convincing people to change their stance on the film. I can’t imagine there are a lot of “on the fence” potential Wolverine spectators. You’re either in your out and the buzz will either fuel the fire of your hatred for the film or your willingness to defend it.
I’m actually excited about the movie (my thoughts on the teaser trailers.) I don’t think it will be great but I do think it will be fun and from a movie about a future amnesiac with metal claws in the Civil War that’s all I really need.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to download the movie. I’m dying to see it and it would be nice to get a jump on the review but when it comes down to it… I don’t want to ruin it for myself. I want to give the movie every luxury it deserves and that includes a big screen, a big sound system and a fair chance to put the finishing effects in. So for that reason (not to mention the legal ones) I’m going to hold off for now. May isn’t really so far away and we’ve got some good stuff to distract us in the meanwhile.
Well I guess we can officially call it “creepy week” at Joe Loves Crappy Movies. Between Wolverine pornography and the Adorable trilogy (Hope, Empire, Jedi) this has been a very weird place the past 4 days. Perhaps I’ll be able to rebound with my Fast and the Furious review on Friday.
I was definitely hesitant of the creepiness but it’s one of those things, and I’ve touched on this a little before in the past, where you just have to embrace the idea and see where it takes you. No matter how weird, wild or creepy that place may be. Be true to the joke and follow the funny. That’s all that matters. If all else fails – stab the Grimace.
This joke came about of my very real fear of downloading something only to find out that it’s pornography. Nothing against pornography but it’s not one of those things you want to be surprised with. You want to know what your walking into. You don’t want to go to watch Muppet Treasure Island and see some lady going to town on a donkey. Or maybe you do. But you’d think twice before moving on to A Muppet Christmas Carol.
Before I go I wanted to thank Joel over at Hobotrashcan.com who has posted his sketch image and is helping to spread the word about the book. Joel has been a good friend and I very much appreciate the shout out. I also want to show you a few of the sketches I did today for the Joe Loves Crappy Movies Book:
The Rorschach and Captain Hammer ones are some of my favorites. They’re very simple suggestions but they came out well and I had a lot of fun with them. Thanks to everyone for the great suggestions. More are coming. I think I’m getting a weird buzz off the sharpies though… Thanks so much for stopping by. I’ll see you tomorrow with either a review of
Fast and Furious or something else news worthy. Hopefully something significantly less creepy then I’ve exposed you to lately.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
