Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Watchmen – Enough is Enough
Discuss Watchmen on the boards
It’s been an interesting week since the release of Watchmen hasn’t it? By Monday afternoon I’d already had enough of the Internet negativity. You can only defend a song choice or a slow motion shot so many times before you just agree to disagree. It was interesting to see Patton Oswalt come to the film’s defense and slam some very aggressive nerds in the process. We even saw the film’s screenwriter David Hayter make a plea to true fans to return for repeat business. He specifically asks the “true believers” to see the movie again in its second week of release so that “smart, dark entertainment, on a grand, operatic scale” can continue to be made.
I would encourage people to see Watchmen a second time because it does play smoother and it definitely offers a lot to take in, but I certainly don’t hold the same esteem for it that Hayter does. He calls it a movie with “brains and balls” and I would say he’s being generous to something he’s worked very hard on. It’s a fantastic movie but it is not the groundbreaking achievement that the book is.
The film did take a big hit this weekend, dropping in the high 60 percent and getting beat for the number 1 spot by Disney’s Race to Witch Mountain. What does this mean for the film’s overall success? Will we get the rumored theatrical release of the full director’s cut? Will Hollywood be tentative to tell epic comic book tales in the future? Who knows? I think they’ll double-dip the DVD until they get their money back, do an unwelcome and unwarranted Rorschach prequel movie and destroy the property completely. Just like Alan Moore predicted!
Or not.
Last Friday was a sad day. Not only was it the second occurrence of Friday the 13th in as many months but it was also the last day we would ever get a new Ugly Hill update. Paul Southworth, who started the strip way back in may of 2005, decided it was time to move on to some new projects. You have to respect his decision and especially the fantastic way he concluded the story, but it’s still sad to see such an incredible strip close its doors. All the best, Paul.
If you’d like to keep up to date with Paul’s upcoming work make sure you join his Twitter account. If you couldn’t tell I’ve gone a little Twitter crazy right now and after posting the Twitter themed strip last week I was thrilled at how many people decided to follow me. I was also a little surprised at how many of you decided to follow the fake Voldemort account I set up. Sure there are a couple other Voldemort’s to follow but one never updates and the other is in Spanish. Besides I’m writing Vmort as a complete magical wack-job so I hope it’s a little bit of fun for those that have taken the time to check it out.
Last bit of plugging… The latest edition of Another Videogame Webcomic got picked up by Joystiq.com’s Webcomics Roundup. If you have a second to spare do Phil and I a favor and head on over to vote for us. No pressure.
That’s it for now but I’m gearing up for the big I Love You Man review so expect more very soon. Thanks for reading!
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
