Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
The Incredible Hulk
Starring: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, Tim Blake Nelson, Ty Burrell, William Hurt
Directed by: Louis Leterrier
Universal Pictures
The Official Site of The Incredible Hulk
Discuss The Incredible Hulk on the boards!
I’m not sure we needed another Hulk movie, but I would have said the same thing about The Punisher and he’s going through the reboot motions now, so why not? The Hulk is, after all, one of the biggest (literally and figuratively) comic book characters of all time, so why let Ang Lee’s artsy interpretation stall what could be a hugely successful franchise? Especially in an era of cinema where comics rule all!
This latest version of Marvel’s great big green ball of frustration, simply titled <1>The Incredible Hulk, captures the character at his best while including an onslaught of winks to fans of the comics and TV series. As a fan it’s great to see the character back up on the big screen in an adventure that captures him to near perfection.
I emphasize “NEAR” because of some big visual hiccups that would ultimately have me leaving the theater a little disappointed, but let’s try and stay positive and kick things off with what works well! Because what does work, is successful in a monstrous way.
While The Incredible Hulk is made to stand on its own, it picks up flawlessly right where Ang Lee’s Hulk left off. Sure he’s a different shade of green and the Oscar-caliber leading man is the appropriate level of nerd, but the deflects a bulky origin story choosing instead to begin with Bruce on the run, looking for a cure, trying to suppress the beast. A brisk origin montage during the opening credits was all we needed to catch up with the Hulk.
And that’s how it should be. The Hulk wasn’t getting hit by a nuclear bomb every week on the show or every month in the comics, he was helping kids out of wells or stopping Mexican’s from crossing the border (the show has become ridiculously out-dated.) Growing up with the character it was always about the adventure at hand not some 40-year-old explosion. Granted, it was a pretty key explosion but you see what I mean – it’s a footnote present only so we’re not surprised when the main character triples in size.
The movie focuses on the themes of the cursed monster that just wants to be left alone and the tragic love that’s never to be, perfectly capturing the emotion and tone synonymous with this character. And that’s why it works.
While Banner keeps off the radar, trying to find a cure and you know… not get too angry, General Ross (William Hurt) becomes obsessed with finding him. He brings in Roth’s character, a professional bad ass that always gets the job done. The two are great in the film except, oddly enough, in scenes opposite each other. There are times throughout where Ross feels a little one-dimensional, I mean, he’s all about getting the Hulk and nothing else. In a story where the good guy is kind of bad, the bad guys are supposed to be good and the bad/good guy’s daughter is in love with the good/bad guy, you’d think they’d want to play around with that a little. He’s all moustache and tanks though.
Roth’s character on the other hand is handled really well despite only being on screen long enough to get an injection and have his ass beat at any given time. I was particularly impressed with his evolution. A series of injections to make him a better soldier could have easily explained his metamorphosis into the Abomination, but that would’ve been lazy. They mix things up. Give the character a thirst for power that will ultimately lead him to taking unnecessary risks. It was a believable evolution of a super villain done really well.
Look at me though, going on and on just telling the story. Betty loves Bruce, army hates Hulk. You know the deal.
So why isn’t it perfect? Well, first let me say that visually the Hulk is spot on. He looks fantastic and he feels natural in an environment he never came close to existing on. As good as he looks, the second he throws a punch the visuals lose me. The action scenes were so frantic and poorly staged that by movie’s end I was rubbing my eyes and leaving the theater with a frown.
There's some cool stuff going on but it's shot terribly. Especially during the extended 20-minute action finale where impressive CGI creations become a flash of muscle and skin in a poorly lit, close up, hand-to-hand battle. Bad angles, bad use of slow motion, bad lighting... take your pick - the action is uninventive and difficult to follow throughout. The clearest action we get is when the Hulk fights the rain.
I find the clarity issue particularly frustrating if only because the director Louis Leterrier has proven he can film a good action sequence with his work on the The Transporter 2. I know, I know: the flipping car thing is super lame, but that movie is explosive when it comes to two characters wailing on each other. So what happened here, with THE character born to wail on shit?
My first thought was that maybe it’s the actors that make the action in the Transporter (Jason Statham can move like a mo-fo!). That's certainly been the case in other movies (Jackie Chan's Rush Hour stunts aren't good because Brett Ratner is a seasoned pro.) It immediately occurred to me though that it shouldn't make a difference – The Hulk and The Abomination are cartoons. Monstrous cartoons tearing into each other. They couldn’t have just gotten Statham to come in for the day and do some motion capture work? We all know how much he likes to rip his shirt off.
I became frustrated with it. Like I said, there was definitely some cool stuff going on, but I would have loved to get a better look at it. The brief moments of clarity weren’t worth the wait.
But a clean punch doesn’t make a good movie, even in a movie about a character that punches everything. Where it counts The Incredible Hulk delivers. It’s not the masterpiece of destruction (and redemption) the fans were waiting for, but it’s pretty damn good.
Rating: 7 out of 10 - There are two kinds of Hulk fans. Those that hated the 2003 Ang Lee version, and those that never got around to seeing it. I kid. I’ve got nothing against the first Hulk that a little editing and Hulk pound wouldn’t solve, but a lot of people couldn’t accept it and were looking to Norton’s reboot to answer their prayers and redeem the character. I’m not sure that The Incredible Hulk does that necessarily. It’s fun and the tone is right - less drama more damage – but it’s hardly perfect. Of course you’re talking to someone that wasn’t looking for Hulk redemption. It only comes to those that ask for it.
While I wasn’t particularly wow’d by this latest version of The Hulk I have no doubt it will smash its way into my DVD collection. How could it not? I am a helpless (and happy) worshipper of the comic book movie boom and I support even the worst. The Incredible Hulk is far from the worst though. In fact I think (and pray) that the problems I have with it will get some fresh polish on home video. The unclear imagery will be easier to take in on my modest TV as opposed to a projection on a 3-story wall. A little perspective could make The Incredible Hulk live up to the hype.
Comic making tip of the day - surround yourself with the right people. Originally the last panel in today's strip was blank. It just didn't feel right though so I decided to show it to my fellow pimps and see what they thought. I had the nagging itch that it was incomplete, that it needed something and was leaning towards the Hulk saying, "Hulk dogs translate poorly to screen!" Phil suggested the "daddy issues" line which I thought was a really sharp way to end things.
I still feel very much as though I'm in the middle of a writer's block, frustrated with the way both my comics and reviews are written, so having friends around to back me up is invaluable. Surrounding yourself with people you respect is so key in getting through the tough times, both in cartooning and life I suppose.
Nothing in Particular - The theater was a family of five from overflowing when Yeo and I snuck out to see The Hulk on Sunday. Once the first trailer went up it became clear that I was surrounded by a theater full of casual moviegoers. I say that not with the sting of a movie snob but with the jealousy of someone immersed in something he supposedly loves.
Trailers for the new Mummy and Hellboy sequels were met with gasps and cheers from the crowd around me, obviously oblivious to films' upcoming release or even their utter existence. They were energized and excited for movies I've seen the trailers for a dozen times and been talking about on line for at least a year.
What I wouldn't give for a fresh set of eyes and a new perspective. To go into a movie knowing nothing. A victim of surprise. I miss that.
As it is now, Tony Stark cameos and super soldier serums leave me unimpressed because I've known about them for months. Even worse, I already hate the G.I. Joe movie… and it's not even finished. It shouldn't be that way.
This weekend the other pimps and I will be at AnimeNext here in northern Jersey, so if you're in the area be sure to stop on by. Hopefully there will be another update before then, I just wanted to plant the seed now.
We had a pretty good show last night on The Triple Feature. Things got off to a rocky start. I even yelled at Tom at one point after he said "twist" for the tenth time when referencing M. Night Shyamalan. That was a little uncalled for (sorry Tom) but I'm sick of the whole "twist" association thing. He's like 60% twist free. Give the guy a break.
Once we got into the Hulk talk things got much better. We talked spoilers and got into some of the finer points. I felt like the vibe was more positive overall and I personally enjoy that much more. It's nice when we all like a movie, but not so much that we're blindly praising it for an hour. It's been a solid summer of really good movies with minor flaws to pick apart and I think that's had a positive affect on the Triple Feature.
This last weekend I was down in Virginia meeting my new nephew for the first time. Anthony Sung Jun. 2 weeks old and boring as hell. Cute as a button but he sleeps all the time as most babies should I suppose... We'll be back to see him at the end of the summer. Hopefully he'll be talking by then. That might be a little optimistic.
It was a good weekend though. We stopped by my mom's house on the way back and hung out with her while I cleaned out my old closet. What a trip down memory lane that was. Thousands of comics, artwork as far back as high school… It seems like a lifetime ago.
Before I go – I wanted to say thanks again to Hell Has Found Me for playing along in the hat game and remind you folks to show some love for Transmission Fields in their hunt to play at Lollapalooza! Be a good community… and thanks for reading!
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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V