Starring: Timmothy Olyphant, Dougray Scott, Olga Kurylenko, Robert Knepper, Ulrich Thomsen, Henry Ian Cusick

Directed by: Xavier Gens

Twentieth Century Fox

The Official Site of Hitman

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Seriously, I think there’s something wrong with me. There are some movies that I just can’t let go. I saw Hitman twice last year. Once in a drunken haze with a group of friends and once by myself in a sober quest to try and prove that there was something worthwhile I’d missed the first time through. That didn’t go so well.

Still, I was aware enough at that point to say when questioned about Hitman’s DVD worthiness, “I’m as shocked as anyone but… Yeah, kinda. The movie is a complete train wreck but I love the tone and I love Olyphant in the part so chances are that when the opportunity rolls around I’ll be willing to give this movie another chance.� Sure enough 3 months later I’m on my couch analyzing every last detail of one of the worst movies of 2007.

The movie isn’t so much better the third time around but it’s definitely less offensive. Watching it through again I found myself in a situation where I’m not expecting a great action sequence or a flawless jigsaw puzzle mystery, so I’m not let down when neither is delivered. What’s really weird is that, through my lack of expectation, I actually got into it a little.

“That hand-to-hand portion of the train station fight is pretty well staged.� “The flow of this plot all logically makes sense.� It was terrifying. I was enjoying something I shouldn’t! I was loving a crappy movie!

What’s even worse is that I’m doing it a disservice by only talking about how bad it’s supposed to be when they actually got a lot of important stuff right. Hitman is a story about a professional killer who has to go rogue after his company betrays him. The movie doesn’t waste time detailing the characters origin or glamorizing his killer lifestyle (heh) and ends up launching pretty quickly into the “man on the run� scenario.

Glossing over the origin was something I originally thought was a problem. I could practically hear some producer on set saying “Ahhh, we’ll cover that in part 2� and it ticked me off. Chalk one up to the professionals because rushing through his upbringing in the title sequence and an off-hand comment adds so much mystery to the character, keeping us on the edge of our seats wanting to learn more about him. Just how good is this guy? Like I said in the original review, he’s “like Bourne, but he remembers everything and doesn’t tell us anything.� Besides, we’re not missing that much.

What the character could have used though is one perfect mission to establish him as a bad ass. Technically they do this, but he’s never seen executing it. We join the action after his part is complete, soon enough to see the damage but not recognize the value of the style behind it. Arguably this also adds to his mystery but they never really give us the definitive hit at any point in the film. It was the only thing missing besides a truly significant and impressive finale.

I’ve gotten past all that though. This time I was able to take a closer look at the performances. I think Olyphant is quite good as Agent 47 portraying the stone cold demeanour, cool head and confidence of a competent killer along with the quieter moments of levity and action that the role requires. In fact his scenes with future Bond vixen Olga Kurylenko offer a sense of humor (and restraint!) far too good for the movie that they’re in. There’s a complexity to these characters that gets lost in the ugliness around them. Like the supporting cast.

I actually like the actors in the supporting roles a lot (specifically Robert Knepper from Prison Break and Henry Ian Cusick from LOST. How incredible was The Constant episode of LOST a couple weeks ago?) but the majority of them are stuck in bad accents and tough guy competitions. None are able to develop an interesting character beyond the purpose that their part serves in pushing the plot along. This is most upsetting with Dougray Scott who plays the chief Interpol officer hunting Agent 47 as he has ample time on screen to create something more memorable than the bamboozled cop.

Can you believe that he was supposed to be Wolverine? It was a done deal, he was set to star as everyone’s favorite comic book tough guy in Bryan Singer’s X-men but had to bow out to finish up shooting Mission Impossible: 2 with Tom Cruise, a bad movie that he’s not so bad in.

I remember being mad at the time. I’d gotten used to the idea of Scott in the role and had no idea who this “Hugh Jackman� was. I remember the day it was announced a friend of mine sent me an e-mail saying “Huge Jackass is Wolverine�. Things worked ok obviously, but could you imagine how different things would have been if he were able to do the film? It’s one of those thing like Tom Selleck was almost Indiana Jones except Dougray Scott never really found his Magnum P.I.

This is the UNRATED edition of the film so there are a noticeable changes here and there, not all good ones depending on who you ask. I remember a lot of blood in the R-rated theatrical release but it seems to be enhanced here. I remember blood splatter on unsuspecting witnesses in the early scene where the President gets his head blown off, but in the Unrated cut we get a clean visual through the sniper scope. Bang, pop, splat - he's gone.

There were a couple of other "questionable" or "over the top" moments of violence they must have had trouble squeezing past the rating's board that have found a home here on DVD, but the stand-out edit has got to be a full frontal torture scene. A scene that I found distasteful and upsetting. That's obviously the intended reaction, an extra reason to really hate our villain, but it was uncomfortable to the point where I'm happy it was cut out to begin with. They should've just shown the villain shooting a basket of puppies with a bazooka. Pure evil.

The bonus material is a little light, even in the ridiculously priced 2-disk edition. I made my way through the deleted scenes, which range from complete restaging of one scene (the confrontation at the train station, which they thankfully beefed up and relocated) to random footage that deserved to end up on the cutting room floor. When it came time to watch the final scene, an alternate ending, I was less than impressed and expecting the worse. More so when it started up and turned out to be an EXTENDED ending instead of what I was secretly hoping for: a closing action sequence worth ending the movie on. That was definitely missing from the original cut.

As the shot continued it took a turn that I didn't expect, (no worries. I'll keep it spoiler free) yielding a less optimistic, happy ending that's more appropriate for the Agent 47 character. It wouldn't have made the theatrical cut any more effective but it would have had people leaving the theater with the concept of the character in their minds, thinking about who he is and what he does, possibly even the budding concept of other adventures. I've made no efforts to hide my sequel hopes for Hitman but I haven't see any cut of this movie, rated or unrated, impressive enough to warrant more.

Rating: 5 out of 10 - I’m giving the DVD a much kinder 5 than the 3 I hit the theatrical cut with late last year. It’s not so much that the movie is so much better; it’s just not as bad as you might remember. That said it’s still not good enough to escape being a mediocre, forgettable action film.

It must have been at least 20 minutes that I spent circling that Hitman display in Circuit City, with No Country for Old Men in hand ready to buy, having an internal war over the decision to add Hitman to the shopping cart.

In the end I just grabbed the damn thing and headed towards the register, and I don’t regret it, but I do wish I had more restraint. The movie is not worth the price tag, especially considering that in 2 months time that price tag will be at a much more appropriate 9.99, even cheaper previously viewed at Blockbuster. If you’re looking forward to adding Hitman to your collection I hope you have better control than I do. Save yourself some money and just watch The Transporter until the price tag on this drops a little.

The Onion Movie - The Onion Movie is a brand new direct-to-DVD film based on the wildly popular newspaper of the same name. The Onion is a gloriously wonderful fake newspaper that takes shots at current news events and on slow days just makes shit up, and it probably gets more weekly readers than half the papers covering legitimate news on any given week.

The preview is good but not amazing. It’s a small collection of headlines brought to life, which is funny in a Kentucky Fried Movie sort of way, but could get old really fast. I have faith in the writing, but what’s funny on the page doesn’t always translate well to the screen. It would suck if the movie ruined the spontaneity and energy of the paper.

It feels like I’ve been covering the HULK teaser all week long (Check out Wedensday’s comic) even though it technically doesn’t hit theaters until today.

(Courtesy of MTV.com ) It's pretty effective as far as teasers go. I'm excited about seeing some monster vs monster action and when the movie’s villain, the Abomination, a Hulk like monstrosity with a skin problem worse than just a shade of green, pops up on screen I definitely gave my computer a "Whoa...!", but that rush doesn't last very long.

In my Youtube sized box the monsters still kind of look like cartoons. I'm hoping this will be a non-issue on the big screen because everything else looks spot on. Banner on the run is key and that 8th of a second where Ed Norton pulls his hoodie up and ducks down an alley impressed me a lot more in the long run than the Abomination tearing down a city street. All in all it looks pretty good and I have high hopes that a strong story can carry questionable graphics.

MAX PAYNE and the FUNKY BUNCH

I had no idea that a Max Payne movie was even in the works let alone with a star that could actually be really good in the part and draw enough attention to it that it might live up to the source. Oh wait... PG-13. Scratch that.

/film's got the first pic of Mark Wahlberg as Payne, the family losing, bullet time junkie from the video game of the same name. Though to be honest that photo could very easily be Wahlburg playing anybody or even just getting into his car for that matter.

The real news this early (besides the entire thing being news to me completely) is the PG-13 rating for a franchise that should push for that hard R. We've all heard the arguments about PG-13 action being just as good, how far you can go without showing too much blood, and how opening the age range will boost the cash flow, and all those points are still valid. The real point worth making though is that the magical R rating does not always equal success.

Last year we saw AVP:R and Hitman embrace the violence and flop beneath it while movies like Live Free or Die Hard thrived with its brand new age range. So did they make the right choice with Max Payne? This early in the game it’s too hard to tell, but casting Wahlburg and the lovely Mila Kunis is a great place to start.

The MUMMY RETURNS… AGAIN

Today Comingsoon.net posted a picture (from a cell phone I'm guessing) of the poster for The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor and it looks disappointingly generic. I'm totally getting a Mortal Kombat vibe off that floating symbol behind Jet Li's head. Mummy Kombat!

Earlier in the week Maria Bello, who replaced Rachel Weitz in the franchise after her departure, revealed that she’s signed for a trilogy and that a fourth film is likely. From a franchise that barely deserved one sequel let alone a third and a spin-off I’ve got to say I’m surprised, but if they keep exploring different cultures that used the mummification process like they are here, they might be able to pull of some interesting and original action/horror. Fingers crossed. That’s it for now. Thanks for reading!