Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
The Incredible Hulk Teaser Trailer Commercial
Over this past weekend it was announced that MTV, VH1, Spike TV and their subsidiaries would be broadcasting the teaser trailer for Ed Norton’s big relaunch of The Incredible Hulk. On Monday, I was sitting at home catching up on The Real World/Road Rules Challenge, and noticed a commercial hyping the teaser’s TV premier. A teaser for the teaser of a trailer for the movie that no one will care about if they keep this up.
Who am I kidding, I was glued to the screen whenever the commercial came on, trying each time to soak in the images of Norton’s glowing green eyes watching a HUMMER tear through an army base. I’m a hard-core fanboy, but as much as I was enjoying the anticipation of this teaser, part of me still felt like a commercial hyping it was a little excessive. Not so excessive that I didn’t shush my wife when she was talking over it at one point though.
This is obviously an outreach to those folks that the movie would be perfect for but who don’t actually check movie news or comic book entertainment sites on a regular basis, and if you think about it, that’s a ton of folks. The Hulk has a wide appeal on the big screen despite what Ang Lee did with it a few years back. He’s still one of the most popular comic book characters known to man and there’s no harm in spreading the word.
Judge for yourself though. Check out the commercial now and the full teaser when it airs tonight. I know I’ll be scanning for it, but I’m hoping it will really kick my ass on the big screen this Friday when it’s attached to the new “28 Months Later meets Road Warrior featuring Snake Plissken’s hot daughter” movie Doomsday!
In my last update I passed along the news that the fantastic comic book series Bone is getting it’s big shot at the big screen, but I couldn’t say for sure if they were going to be tackling the cartoony characters with animation or a mad display of live action puppetry. Well I have it on good word, through sources that I cannot reveal, that Bone will be animated but to what extent I don’t know. 2-D, 3-D, IMAX… I don’t know, but Bone will live on a computer screen and not a sock drawer.
Honesty, this is what I would have wanted for the property. As trippy and cool as some of those creatures would have looked if they were actually constructed, a cartoon is going to be way more accessible to all audiences, something this story and these characters deserve.
In other comic-to-movie news… According to JoBlo.com it seems that Brett ( X-men: The Last Stand) Ratner has set his eyes on Harbinger, a teen superhero book that was part of the big relaunch of Valiant Comics in the 1990's. There are far too few team superhero movies in circulation these days so I welcome the addition of one of the stronger books of that time period.
Harbinger was always my favorite of the big push from Valiant. It wasn’t as flashy as Solar, as funny as Archer and Armstrong (I’m calling it now – cast Orlando Bloom and Ray Winston and that movie would kick all kinds of ass!) or even as intense as X-O Man of War, but there was just something so great about the young rebellion, evil corporation and inflated drama that comes with being that age. It spoke right to me and stood out in the pack.
According to JoBlo.com, producer Arnon Milchan says that he and Ratner are looking to develop the film as a "young Blade Runner". Despite the natural lack of trust that most fanboys have in Ratner (despite that comic I personally am willing to give him a chance. The guy has a real respect for film and has made more entertaining movies than not), it's nice to see a project like this moving forward.
For info on all the old classics from Valiant Comics including a sneak peek at a Harbinger: The Beginning, check out the newly launched ValiantEntertainment.com.
My last bit of gossip for the day will be mentioning the “certainty” (as reported by Shocktillyoudrop.com) that there will be an Aliens vs. Predator 3. AVP3: Enough is Enough. Ok, that’s not the real title but it might as well be as Hollywood is looking for a third way to make this seemingly perfect formula suck.
After the family friendly first attempt and the dead behind the eyes second round, a third film is now a "certainty". No word yet on if the directing team of the Straus Brothers will return for part three and give us better look at their vision of AVP in space, but I for one could take it or leave it.
I've never made it a secret that I enjoy the first AVP. I love the setting and the concept and they make the action work when they need to. It was definitely a little light on the blood and gore, but it was fun and coherent, not something you could necessarily say for AVP:Requiem. Cardboard characters that you could care less about caught in the middle of two great movie icons slow dancing their way through a “fight”. YAWWWWWWN…
God knows what they'll do with the franchise now but I've got to be honest, in the process of looking back at the first two, I kind of got myself psyched up for another one! (I know, I’m part of the problem) These are great characters, even if no one seems to understand how to use them on the big screen anymore. So suck or not - bring it on!
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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
