Starring: Jet Li, Jason Steak'ums, Devon Aoki, Luis Guzmán, Nadine Velazquez

Directed by: Philip G. Atwell

Lionnsgate

The Official Site of War

One would think that in the delicate period between the paper-thin storylines of the summer and the not-good-enough-for-Oscar filler of the fall we would be able to get what we pay for from a movie as transparent as War. But what has been billed to us for the last month as the last great action movie to close out the summer crumbles in its own attempt to be something more. None stop action with an actual plot.

It’s preferred, of course. A great story isn’t a necessity with an intense action movie but can naturally make it a lot more fun. What is necessary in a great action movie though is… well… great action.

Had they been able to pull it off I would have applauded them for it, but instead we have a movie trying so hard to deliver something it’s not, that it completely forgets to deliver the one thing it promised in the fist place – that one great action movie to close out the season. Pressure’s on Shoot ‘Em Up.

What War desperately wants to be is an overly complex crime thriller. The plot of two warring Japanese families, the rouge agent (wisely (?) referred to as “Rouge� (Jet Li) playing both sides against each other, and the FBI unit (lead by Jason Steak’ums) trying to take them all out is actually kind of a nice one. There’s even a fancy twist I didn’t see coming which gave me hope the movie would end on a high note before they tried one too many times to out twist themselves.

The problem is that they over do it. See how I just explained the whole story to you in like… 80 words? They take 2 hours to draw it out and overact it into the ground. One too many moody phone calls and meetings in the big bosses office left me bored and restless.

Though far too much time is spent building up the intricacies of a pretty uncomplicated plot the director is wise enough to through in a fight sequence or boob shot every 20 minutes or so to keep it’s target audience alive and kicking. But what kind of movie is it if all we have to hope for is the chance that the fights will get better and the boobs will get bigger? To be fair they do get pretty big but it was hardly worth it. Hardly.

Really great action would have saved the day, or at least delivered to me what I would hope from an incredible action tag team like Li and Steak ‘ems. The thing is - it’s not even that the action is bad. It’s just shot badly.

A hit on a Japanese teahouse in the middle of the film, a chase sequence featuring Steak’ums launching himself through a couple of glass windows, as well as the final 20 minutes of the movie offers up the best of the warfare. But the shots are tight and the angles are all over the place. I love when a cinematographer can get creative with the way a picture is shot, but the best action is action we can see and understand. I didn’t get any of that out of War. I could tell that it was in there somewhere, but it certainly wasn’t up on the screen.

I have nothing but love for the two stars of the film. Steak’ums has endeared himself to me as one of the premier action stars that can actually act. After convincing me he was the coolest person in London with Snatch and Lock Stock he came over to America and showed us that he could throw a punch. With a few steady years of that I’m sold on his bad boy cool and rugged charm. What isn’t there to like about Jet Li. And now, after Unleashed, he’s proven to everyone that he’s more than a sword and a roundhouse kick. Both of these guys have so much to offer, but who are we kidding? People are going to War to see these two powerhouses throw down. Everyone wants to watch Jet Li fight The Transporter and had the movie given us that (in any sort of visible way) I would have had a lot of praise for it today.

Rating: 4 out of 10 It’s not a complete wash. Like I said, the plot isn’t horrible and you have patience for about 30 minutes of down time there’s actually a story here worth hearing. But I wouldn’t rush out to catch it before it leaves theaters. I wouldn’t even rush out to rent it. If you stumble upon it, don’t be so quick to avoid it but scheduling time for it is sheer foolishness. Your better off watching Li and Steak’ums in their first team up The One. Hot Li on Li action… totally crazy.

Not a chance.

The two genres of movies I typically go after on DVD are comedies and action movies. Mainly because those are the two kinds of movies with the highest rewatabilty appeal. Something like The Departed, Children of Men or Brick, three of the best movies of last year, is a commitment. If you pop in any of those movies it’s a 2-hour promise to your couch that it better get comfortable with the idea of you parking yourself there for a while. Whereas a movie like Smokin’ Aces, or Blades of Glory are movies I’d feel comfortable putting on and watching casually. Commitment free.

If Yeo comes home early and isn’t in the mood to watch Smokin’ Aces, I’ll flip it off. If I remember a project that needs to get finished right away I can leave Blades of Glory running and not be worried about being distracted. These films are entertaining but not all consuming.

For the record I actually own all these movies (except Blades of Glory which hits DVD shelves tomorrow) because I sort of have a DVD problem. And those movies that capture your attention have their place. It can be a wonderful thing to get lost in a cinematic experience. But it’s a safe bet that on a Sunday morning where I have a big project to finish up, I’m not going to reach for the movie with the compelling characters and engaging storyline. Flashy fluff can make for some excellent white noise.

War is far too undefined though. It wants to be the big action event and the dramatic, crime thriller at the same time. Through poor planning and sloppy cinematography we get a movie that I wouldn’t want as an evening in front of the TV or background noise.

Rising Sun - On the surface War is a little thin. The title and the previews tell you next to nothing about the story of rival Japanese families and the cops trying to take them down. As soon as I learned the backdrop of War I was immediately reminded of Rising Sun, a movie released just as Wesley Snipes was becoming a star. Sun shows the Japanese gangland of Los Angeles like no other movie I’ve seen before. This murder mystery mixes sex, violence and old world culture into a smart and thrilling tale of suspense. It’s Snipes at the top of his game with Sean Connery along side adding the slightest touches of humor and class that make the film more than just another cop flick.

Snipes has since fallen into the B-movie level of hell releasing one direct-to-DVD movie after another. But it’s fun to take a look back at the high points of his career including New Jack City, White Men Can’t Jump, Blade, The Fan, Demolition Man and even Rising Sun.

While I’m, sure more people will see it, War never really measures up to Rising Sun. It spends too much time developing a storyline they apparently though was complicated enough to drone on about for 2 hours. Rising Sun has some length to it to, but it never drags or slows down. Something that War managed to perfect.

Hitman (Full Trailer) - So here’s the thing about the Hitman video game. I suck at it. Ok, I suck at most video games but the Hitman games in particular I was dreadful at. Reason being is that the games aren’t about smashing in on the bad guys and killing everyone on the screen, they’re about sneaking in, killing one or two people, and getting out without having been noticed. I don’t have the nerves or patience for all the tiptoeing and “aiming�. Neither do the filmmakers apparently as the latest Hitman trailer features Agent 47 swinging around his submachine guns to Ave Maria as shell casings rain down around him in slow motion. Deadly, but not exactly silent.

But for a movie that is looking more and more like a XXX sequel the more we see of it, I would expect the big bang over an accurate adaptation anyway. Hopes are still high though. Even though the trailer shows him letting lose, it also has clips of him with his silencer and sniper rifle. So there are some guaranteed sneaky moments. Plus Olyphant looks like a total badass in the part and whoever the love interest (Olga Kurylenko) she’s definitely getting my attention. There’s still a chance that we’ve got a franchise worth getting excited about here. But at the very least… we have Olga.

I wanted to give a shout out to guys over at Exile. They’ve been friends since we started Digital Pimp and they also gave me my first proper introduction to JAM comics. We had an amazing time putting together the first Exile comics storyline a couple years ago, Broken Wings , they’re now working on a third series that I’ve done the latest comic for. If any budding creators are interested in participating in this storyline it is open to new comers. Follow the contact information for sign up instructions and feel free to play along!