Starring: Robin Williams, Mandy Moore, John Krasinski, Eric Christian Olsen, Christine Taylor , Josh Flitter

Directed by:

Warner Brothers

The Official Site of License To Wed

My first reaction to hearing Robin Williams was going to be playing a priest was to be offended but it’s really not so odd. The truth is that while the beginning of his career was filled with raunchy stand-up and a notorious drug problem, Williams has managed to clean up his act and build a resume of both critically acclaimed smart dramatic parts as well as genuinely funny, family friendly romps. The guys earned enough respect in the industry where we can forgive his wild child youth and find him believable as a man of God. With that, the only thing really offensive about his brand new comedy License to Wed is that it’s just not that funny.

Williams has a lot of room to play here, but I just plain feel bad for the victims of his antics John Krasinski and Mandy Moore. These are two very talented young performers that are just too good for the material. At least Krasinski gets to fall backwards through a table, or a window, or whatever every twenty minutes, all Moore gets to do his watch him fall and look good while she’s doing it. As Ben and Sadie (I let you figure out which is which) their young love is very apparent but gets rudely interrupted when they find out that in order to get married in the family church, they’ll have to pass a marriage class run by the life long family pastor, Reverend Frank (Williams).

Frank thinks of himself as the cool priest. The kind of priest that makes coming to church fun. But beneath the clever quips and well rehearsed religious games run for the CCD (Catholic Children’s Dungeon) classes, lies… well… kind of a huge jerk. Reverend Frank invites Ben and Sadie into his class and slowly destroys their perfect relationship with tests and exercises all designed to assess the strength of their love.

What makes it so offensive is that it’s clear Frank is trying to tear them apart. I could almost accept that if there was some Hollywood cliché backing it up like, he didn’t think Ben was good enough for her or he (gross) wanted her for himself, but it’s not that simple. Actually it’s much more simple. He’s just testing them. He’s pushing them to the brink, showing them that marriage isn’t always going to be so easy, so that when the lovey-dovey phase runs it’s course and real life gets in the way, they’re ready for it.

At its core it’s a nice sentiment, but there’s just something wrong with the concept of putting people through hell in order to bring them closer together. I understand the reasoning, that Reverend Frank is showing them how hard the real world of marriage can be, albeit in a very unorthodox and cruel way, but Sadie and Ben were doing fine. Love isn’t always going to be enough, but isn’t it the right place to start? Why do they have to learn to hate each other so that they can be together?

Never mind the fact that it should be no one’s decision for two people to get married but their own. No one is so perfect that they could pass that much judgment over other people. But Reverend Frank, who breaks at least 3 commandments in the movie, is portrayed without fault. Even when Ben thinks he’s dug up some dirt on the man ruining his life, there’s always an unexpected explanation that absolves him and just makes Ben look that much more crazy. Ben loses control of his life, and that’s when the movie loses me.

I just can’t get into this kind of story, but some people really respond to these types of comedies. The kind where a well-meaning and kind main character is railroaded by a more aggressive, overbearing character that storms in and takes over the main character’s life. Usually in a manipulative and underhanded way. You’ve seen these movies before. Anger Management, The Cable Guy, The Ex , School For Scoundrels. The aggressive one usually has good intentions but is just remarkably inconsiderate in the way they go about it. To some people a situation like this is endlessly entertaining, but I can’t help but curl my toes and clench my fists in frustration.

I hate the loss of control. I just have trouble laughing at someone’s life crumbling in front of me. They lose their job, they lose their girlfriend, and their family turns on them at the same time they embrace the enemy. Of course in most cases our hero is redeemed in some grand gesture that also reveals the true colors of the aggressor. This is something that never really happens in License to Wed, because Reverend Frank never had true colors to show. He’s basically a good guy with no real ulterior motives other than helping these kids. He’s just kid of an ass in the way he does things. There’s no big surprise that reveals anything about him that vilifies him and endears us to Ben again. Though, it’s probably the best way to go. A priest should never be vilified unless it’s in a horror movie.

The film takes a low road with its comedy assuming the audience will laugh at any generic awkward situation. The result is that the funniest moment in the film is in the closing credits where a string of bloopers are shown as what’s left of the crowd makes their way back to their cars. Those outtakes are so refreshing because it shows that even though we weren’t having a good time, at least the actors were while they were filming. Had the filmmakers been able to translate that spontaneity and enthusiasm to the screen, we might have had something worth recommending.

Only one other scene comes close to entertainment, and it’s one that involves robot babies and registering for wedding gifts. I didn’t think those freaky, plastic, robot babies that Frank forces them to take care of would yield any laughs, but once they start leaking mysterious goo I couldn’t contain my chuckles. It falls far short of saving the film, but it is what it is.

I admit – I was really surprised that this movie wasn’t more offensive. The basic principles of the premise I find kind of upsetting on their own but amidst the physical gags, and awkward silences was a realistic take on love. Hardly revolutionary but sweet in it’s way. Unfortunately, the comedy surrounding it is just more of the same generic humor we’re supposed to laugh at but are secretly getting tired of. License To Wed is just another forgettable comedy.

Rating: 4 out of 10 - If find that a 4 rating is right around the middle of a movie that didn’t impress or offend me at all. To go any lower the movie would have to have angered me in some sort of way. It would have to have been so awful that I couldn’t function anymore. But as it is, License to Wed is as middle-of-the-road as you can get. If I were to stumble upon it on TV sometime in the future I wouldn’t stop looking for something to watch but if I couldn’t find the remote I wouldn’t feel the need to tear the house apart looking for it.

Why would I waste my money on this DVD when I could buy the brand new Family Fun Edition of Jingle All The Way!? It’s Turbo Time!

Anger Management - I’m a huge Adam Sandler fan, but Anger Management is one movie I’m glad I missed in theaters. Last year I caught it on FX and went through the same rollercoaster of frustration that I did with License to Wed. Are we even supposed to care about these people?

Like License, Anger has an adversary that for better or worse is really trying to help the guy out. But never has one of these aggressive characters been played so evil. Few people besides the great Jack Nicholson could play such a complete monster and still have the audience wondering who they should be rooting for.

Where Anger Management succeeds over License To Wed is that it’s able to mix in some strong laughs with the tension. At the end of the day though it’s still a movie formula that doesn’t agree with me which is even more annoying after seeing what Sandler is capable with movies like Click (one of my top 10 of last year).

Sandler is back on screen next week with The King of Queens himself Kevin James in their new movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. This story about two straight male friends that get married for the legal benefits could go either way. So far the trailers hint that it’s going to be one great big clusterfuck of homophobia, but I’m hoping Happy Madison can keep things on track and tell another great story.

I want to take a moment to offer a big congratulations to Gordon as he celebrates his 2 year anniversary and 150th with his comic Multiplex. it’s one of the finest strips online, movie themed or not, and it’s been a real thrill getting to know him as friends and watching his comic grow. He’s made it more than just a comic celebrating movies in the creation of these amazing characters. Keep up the good work buddy!

Ok, business time. In honor of the release of the Harry Potter movie and book this month we brought back the Kiss My Muggle Ass T-shirts for a limited time, but that limited time is HERE! Today, Friday, July 13th, we are ending the pre-order period for the Muggle shirts. We’re ordering a few extra to take to shows and dwindle off online, but if you want to make sure you get the size and style you want, now’s the time to act!

I hate being all businessman like that, but it’s really part of the game. Doing the comics is the real fun, but it’s the sort of thing where if we don’t sell stuff every now and again I won’t be able to have fun making comics that much longer. So you know… check out the shirts. PIMP!

Before I go, check out this fun new feature… Meebo is an instant message type program that allows you to talk with me directly when I’m on line or leave me messages when I’m not. And for those of you that have posted messages I thought I’d take a moment to reply. – Thanks! – The Fantastic Four 2 strip will be up soon, I promise. – Sorry, I’m already married, but you will always hold a special place in my heart. Ok, see you in a couple of days with the Harry Potter 5 review! Take care!