Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
This is a strip I started last fall after those early pictures of Bumble Bee were leaked online. I thought he looked so silly, but in retrospect it was a great move to release those images of all the Transformers months before the movie was released, because it gave us all a real chance to get used to the modern look. Can you imagine if our first exposure to these characters images was in the movie itself? We wouldn’t have been able to appreciate anything about the effects or the action because we’d be fretting over the fact that they used the wrong cars or the wrong colors or that some of them have lips.
At first I was really bothered that Bumble Bee wasn’t a VW Bug. Making him a Camaro felt like a huge obstacle for die-hard Transformer fans to overcome. It could have been worse. They could have made Prime a VW Bug, or they could have made Soundwave lame. Apparently the boom box Decepticon in the movie isn’t actually supposed to be Soundwave but instead Frenzy, one of Soundwave’s cassette buddies. Which is a good move. Soundwave is like the Snakeyes of Transformers. He’s the type of character with a passionate fan base and to turn him into a squeaky spaz would have been the biggest slap in the face of all. Let him have the spotlight for a little while in the second movie and make his flakiest offspring the fall guy this go-around.
With months of time to get over the whole Bug fiasco I was able to accept it and enjoy the movie and the character for what they are, and the Camaro was actually kind of badass. Bumble Bee is different in the movie than in the cartoon. The same spirit is there but he's much more capable now than he was then. He used to be the docile, child-like Transformer whose big responsibility was driving humans away from the danger, but now he's facing of against Barricade… and winning. I personally can't see a Bug doing that and still looking cool. The Camero was a great choice if you asked me. It’s not the obvious choice, but it worked out really well.
But the truth is, if they could have gotten the VW Bug, Spieldberg and Bay would have used it. There’s no doubt. But Volkswagen has every right not to want to associate themselves with a movie about alien warfare, and GMC stepped-up and filled in great. In my opinion though, Volkswagen dropped the ball. This was a great opportunity to create a brand new version of the Bug to cross promote for the movie, even if it was something to fit the needs of the character for this updated version. Something like a high-end sports car VW. That would have sold like hotcakes that transform into waffles.
This particular comic was meant to celebrate the buzz around the movie as well as give regular readers a chuckle at the return of Real World Pooh who originally appeared in the comic for Invincible. (Those of you paying attention would have also seen him pop up in the comic for Grindhouse.) I loved the realistic approach to Pooh, and there was a good response from the readers so I immediately toyed around with the idea of making him a reoccurring guest star. Sort of like Disney’s enforcer that’s brought out when they need to throw their weight around. It’s a fun idea but I’m not sure how well I can just drop the character into any situation and depend upon reader recognition to sell the joke. The character is a little one note.
All my guest characters are. Palpatine, Jesutron, Slow Billy, Captain Picard. It’s really just the same joke that I try to tell from a different perspective. I feel like a couple of them have developed beyond their original gag, but there’s no way I want to over due it. That’s why Palpatine only shows up twice a year, and why after the comic and review for License to Wed you won’t see Jesutron for a while. It’s just overkill.
But I thought some people might enjoy this comic, even though it was conceived of so long ago. It’s a second shot at a Transformers joke, and I can’t say that I’m particularly thrilled with either. But I’ll keep trying. But it’s time to start thinking about Harry Potter. I’ve got IMAX 3-D tickets for tonight and I can’t wait!
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
