Hi everyone. No review with this strip. Yesterday I brought back the 10 on the 10th and you can get my full thoughts on Ghostbusters there. This strip is here just so you guys can see another comic, and because it’s an important part of the reason I’ve been in a funk lately.

During its absence I got a lot of questions about what was going on with the 10 on the 10th and why it hadn’t updated through October and November. There are a lot of reasons, one of them being this strip. I had this Ghostbusters comic finished in October but never felt comfortable with it. I didn’t think it was strong enough and was worried that the punch line didn’t translate very well. The joke is supposed to be that Venkman’s attacker is Slimer. That this serious crime was really just the scene in the movie where Peter gets slimed. I wish I could have squeezed in the “I feel so funky� line. I love that. Anyway, I couldn’t justify doing all that work for a joke that wouldn’t work.

After September’s 10 on the 10th for Star Wars: A New Hope, which I really liked and got a huge response from readers on, I knew I couldn’t phone in a comic for a movie as good as Ghostbusters. I didn’t want to settle for a comic just because it’s finished. I want them to be good.

The replacement comic isn’t my best work but it’s a clean and clear joke that connects to the movie directly. I don’t love it, but it doesn’t bother me liked this rejected strip does. Even though the strip bothers me I felt like it was still important to share it with you. If anything it shows you a little bit about my process and that I’m not just twiddling my thumbs on the other side of the computer screen. I’m really doing my best to make sure you guys get some quality stuff to read at work and school and if I ever start slipping then it might be time to stop.

The scary thing is – I totally feel like I’ve been in a slump lately. I’m just not happy with my comic production of the last couple of months. I feel like my jokes are either too violent, too dirty, or too safe, and that not nearly enough of them are at all funny. I feel like I’m struggling trying to find a comedic voice I thought I had locked down years ago.

I’m even a little frustrated with my guest arc that’s running at Joe and Monkey this month. I mean, the story is going where I want it to and the art isn’t horrible, but it’s almost like I’m wasting an opportunity for some funny stuff. It’s like I’m just navigating through the structure of the story without taking any chances. Part of me thinks that I’m playing it safe and I’m afraid it’s boring.

Zach called me last night and opened the conversation by saying that my arc wasn’t living up to his or his reader’s expectations of what Joe and Monkey should be. That there should be “more dialogue and maybe a splash of color�. I was calm but furious. Then he told me he was kidding and that the arc has been “genius� so far.

He may have been kidding but it tapped right into the insecurities I’ve been experiencing lately. It made me reanalyze what I’m doing in the web comic world and what my place is there.

In a moment of frustration the other day I convinced myself that there’s got to be a point where there are just no more jokes left. There is no more original humor to share, and that I’m fooling myself if I think I can keep this up. I don’t want to churn out garbage. I want the comics to be consistently good, but realistically how long can that last?

As insecure as I am about the comics, you guys have been great. I get e-mails all the time from people telling me how much they like the strip, and the traffic is the highest it’s ever been. Truthfully it’s you guys that are keeping me going at this point because a couple of these comics lately have been a struggle to get done. And I find myself wondering if posting another strip is worth killing myself over.

Yeo has been leaning on me a little lately to figure out where I’m going with the comics. She doesn’t want me to give up on my dreams but if making comics is what I’m going to do then we need to have a plan. My day job doesn’t pay on a set schedule and with kids around the corner she wants to know we’re not going to be waiting for checks to come in. I feel the same way but I’m overwhelmed by it.

Right now the comics make zero dollars. That’s not something I like to talk about because it’s not the primary reason I make comics, but it’s the truth. I see nothing from the work I do because of a combination of problems. We’ve never really set up an adequate way to push merchandise or advertising space on the site. We’ve got the traffic and we’ve even got some products, but we don’t have the business savvy to make it work for us. Looking at it from that perspective, everyday we don’t capitalize on the incoming traffic is another day I’ve wasted slaving over a comic.

It used to be just about the comics, which was great but now… If I can’t figure out how to do this right… then it will end. And that’s the last thing I want. And this isn’t a threat - It’s life.

All of this boiled over this past fall and really got me frustrated. There’s so much going on and I’m spending all my time making comics and watching movies to the point where I can’t make those other things come together. But I want it to work. And I’ve avoided discussing this with people in the past because it’s no ones problem but mine, and my problems don’t deserve a spotlight here. But now it’s starting to affect the work. I’m losing my passion for comics and for telling jokes and I don’t know how to get it back.

This isn’t a call for suggestions or even support. You guys have been nothing but supportive over the years. I just hope this hasn’t all come off as complaining or a plea for you to buy stuff, because I’ve been careful in the past to avoid doing both too aggressively on the site. I just need you die-hard readers to know where I’m coming from and to know that I’m going to do my best to make it all work. One day I’ll figure this all out. One day there will be a big and beautiful JLCM collection. One day there will be 5 JLCM updates a week. I just need to figure it all out.

Wow, I didn’t intend to bare my soul in today’s post, but there it is. Let’s end on a high note. For our wedding Yeo and I had table quotes instead of table names, and we had images to go along with them. We had one for Ghostbusters and now seems as good a time as any to share it with you. That’s me as old Stay Puft chasing Yeo the Ghostbuster down. There are 8 other table images/quotes from our wedding floating around out there. If any of the movies they’re from pop up in another 10 on the 10th, I’ll be sure to include them.

Thanks for reading. Tomorrow it’s back to business as usual. A brutally long, worry free review of The Blood Diamond. See you then. Also updating tomorrow is the continued Joe And Monkey arc, a guest comic for Rose City as well as Matriculated, which updates every Wednesday right here at Digital Pimp. Are you guys reading Matriculated? It’s good. Phil does a great job shaping those characters. It’s an honor to be the one making it come to life.

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