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Indiana Jones & the Staff of Kings
Platform: Playstation Portable
Price: $39.99
Indiana Jones & the Staff of Kings has the makings of a great Indiana Jones movie. Indiana Jones? Check. Spunky female love interest/sidekick? Check. Mystical religious artifact? Check. Nazis? Check. Way too complicated tombs built by ancient civilizations with apparent access to technology far beyond what was common at the time? Check. Unfortunately, Staff of Kings isn't the fifth Indiana Jones movie, it's a game based on a movie franchise. So does that means it sucks? Check.
Indiana Jones and the Staff of Kings takes place chronologically before and after the first three movies in the franchise. This time you're after the staff of Moses (the titular "Staff of Kings"), jetsetting from Panama to San Francisco to Istanbul and finally to Nepal. The plot feels like its ripped straight out of an Indiana Jones movie... although, that's not particularly tough, is it? Indiana Jones and the Nazis are after a powerful religious artifact, they fight along the way to finding the artifact, Indiana Jones saves the day. (I guess that last part is a spoiler. But if you didn't see that part coming, you haven't been exposed to nearly enough movies... or, y'know, fiction.)
The best things about the game are the puzzle tombs (rooms?) that you navigate on the way to the Staff of Kings. They also feel like they're ripped from an Indiana Jones movie. Those rooms should be fun but they end up being frustrating with the horrible controls and camera. If the PSP had a second analog stick to more accurately control the camera, I think playing through some of these levels would have been much less frustrating. Another major annoyance comes from traversing across beams. You have to hit the corrosponding shoulder button to keep Indy from falling off, while avoiding the swinging obstacles from knocking you off. Which doesn't seem that bad in theory... until you add in the fact that it's nearly impossible to tell if you've cleared the obstacle or not. I can't tell you how many times I fell off a beam because I thought I was clear of an obstacle only to not be. Each of the levels also includes five challenges and a number of artifacts to be found to try to extend gameplay. But the challenges that aren't ridiculously easy are ridiculously hard, so either you complete the challenges right away or you don't want to play through those levels again to complete those challenges. Completing those challenges give you points that you can use to upgrade things like health, power, etc.
Other than raiding tombs, Indy is also known for his brawling. Unfortunately, the fighting in the game is nothing special. You've got a light attack, strong attack, throw and dodge. You've also got a revolver which takes down enemies in one shot and a whip that will trip and possibly disarm your enemies. You can also use your environment to throw Nazis off balconies or smash them with chairs or chandeliers. I do have to note that the last boss fight is particularly frustrating. The camera is mostly to blame because it constantly follows you around, making you feel like you're fighting on an unstable tanker on the ocean. (You're not.)
I was, however, pleasantly surprised by the voice acting in the game, particularly Indiana Jones. Just listening to the character made me question whether or not they had gotten Harrison Ford to do the voice overs. But then logic took over and I looked up the credits to find a sound-alike instead of Harrison "would have had to be desperate for a paycheck" Ford.
Rating
Even though parts of it feel a lot like an Indiana Jones movie, it feels more like Kingdom of the Crystal Skull than Raiders of the Lost Ark. The controls are bad and the fighting is uninspired. I'm a huge fan of Temple of Doom, but even I have my limits... this one, I'm sorry to say, is a "pass".
Recommendations
Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures
- If you want to get your Indiana Jones gaming fix on, try out Lego Indiana Jones. It's a much better experience than the Staff of Kings, plus if you've never seen the movies before the game is a good introduction to them. (I'm totally being serious on that last one... I have a friend who's first experience with the Indiana Jones movies was the Lego game. She later went out and bought the movies on the fact that she liked the game.)
On the broken PS3 front... it's basically still broken. So guess what? There's probably going to be another review of a PSP game while I try to get it fixed and I try to figure out where my DS walked off to...
Player Two
After the resurgence of multiplayer co-op, GameBizCo Inc. hired Player Two to be the Goose to someone else's Maverick. His workload isn't quite as heavy as most of the other people working at GameBizCo Inc. and as a result, he spends a lot of time in the break room or playing computer solitaire.
First Appearance: Another Videogame Webcomic?!? An Introduction
Player One
Player One is top dog at GameBizCo Inc. Nearly every game, from Pong to Mario Bros to Grand Theft Auto, requires Player One's expertise. His cocksure and sometimes inappropriate attitude is an annoyance to his coworkers but seeing as every game needs a first player, they make due.
First Appearance: Bonus Stage! Here comes Player One!
Damsel I. Distress
Whether it be a castle, a dungeon or mystical island, Damsel always needs to be saved... and she hates it. Damsel longs for the day when she's given the role of a strong female lead character who doesn't have huge breasts with hyper accurate physics.
First Appearance: LittleBIGPlanet
Final Boss
Underneath the huge brute that is Final Boss lies a timid creature who wouldn't hurt a fly. He puts on his "angry face" when throwing barrels down ramps or breathing fire but deep down he feels sorry for doing so. He's been known to throw a game or two in the player's favor.
First Appearance: World Record
John Minion
John Minion, or Min for short, is the hardest working employee at GameBizCo Inc. Playing everything from Goombas to no name thugs, Min gets beat up on a daily basis but loves every minute of it. He always wanted to work in the gaming industry and was originally hired as an intern. After years of getting coffee, his big break came when someone called in sick... and the rest is history.
First Appearance: Watchmen: The End is Nigh
Middle Manager
Middle Manager works in the Human Resources department. He runs staff meetings and interviews prospective employees. The other 90% of his time is spent playing Freecell on his computer.
First Appearance: Another Videogame Webcomic?!? An Introduction