Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Confessions of a Shopaholic
Starring: Isla Fisher, Hugh Dancy, Krysten Ritter, Joan Cusack, John Goodman, John Lithgow, Fred Armisen, Leslie Bibb, Kristin Scott Thomas
Directed by: P.J. Hogan
Disney Entertainment
The Official Site of Confessions of a Shopaholic
Discuss Confessions of a Shopaholicthe boards!
The older I get the more I realize how important a comfortable shoe is. Something that fits right, that you can slide right into and that won’t challenge or distract you as you try and shuffle through life. You could say pretty much the exact opposite about a good movie. The greatest films of all time confront you with the challenges of life and dare you to look at the world in new ways, even if they are uncomfortable ones. They pinch in the toe and scrape the back of your heel but they look great and when you pop them off at the end of the day you know they were worth the extra effort.
I’m reaching for an analogy that a Shopaholic might appreciate if only to say that Confessions of a Shopaholic is not this kind of movie. Or shoe. It’s an easy accessory, a comfortable fit, it’s practically a flip-flop dipped in glitter. It won’t challenge you or make you work for its entertainment value. It’s exactly what you expect and I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. As much as we may love a movie that forces us to use our brains, or a shoe that looks great but destroys our feet, sometimes it’s nice to kick back and watch a movie where you know exactly where it’s going. From beat one you know every shoe-loving, closet-stuffing avenue Confessions of a Shopaholic is going to wander down.
You may not know a Rebecca Bloomwood type in real life but chances are, in the battlegrounds of the department store or a sample sale, that you’ve crossed paths with this ditzy young professional swiping the last pair of Gucci boots out of some unsuspecting woman’s hands or buying a blouse in every single color because you never really know which shoe you’re going to want to wear that day. Perhaps you’ve even seen this thirst to spend within yourself. If so then you can at least sympathize with Rebecca’s dilemma.
Rebecca lives to shop and that has gotten her into a little bit of trouble. While lying in a pile of past due bills and debt collector notices she exclaims, “I used to be a valued customer and now they’re sending me hate mail!” Right there you can kind of get an idea of the sweet, naïve girl with good intentions and a passion to accessorize that you’re about to go on an adventure with.
Desperate to pay off her debt Rebecca takes a job writing for a financial magazine. This little twist of irony of the shopaholic giving advice on savings sets the movie off in the right direction. Watching her deal with her shopping addiction and find a fresh approach to writing something she knows next to nothing about (Spoiler alert – she turns everything into a fashion metaphor. To be fair though, every one of them is better than the one I stumbled through at the beginning of this review.) is refreshing and fun. Her bubbly charm and innocence wins out and she becomes a big sensation with everyone including her dreamy British boss.
It helps that Rebecca is easy to root for. Isla Fisher brings a lot of natural warmth to the character and proves something that the trailers made me think wasn’t possible - That Fisher could carry a movie as the leading lady even through tired clichés like “sample sale cat fights” and “closets exploding with clothes”. The right person in the right role can make anything bearable.
Through Rebbeca’s adventures of debt and love Confessions stays consistent in giving the audience a genuine look at life through the eyes of someone with a shopping addiction, which is fantastic for people that aren’t familiar or aren’t willing to admit they’re part of the club. While the subject matter remains light and easy to laugh at throughout, this is a genuine journey of addiction and that’s easy to overlook. Mannequins coming to life and beckoning her towards their merchandise was odd at first but quickly became one of the sweet idiosyncrasies that made the films stand out.
Is it enough for me to recommend though? Yes and no. With the right crowd of people this movie will be a real treat and with others it will be as difficult to get through as a Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman marathon. But for most I think the reaction will be, “That wasn’t nearly as terrible as I thought it would be.” That’s hardly high praise but there’s no use in complaining. You get what you pay for.
Rating: 6 out of 10 - Confessions is based on a book of the same name and after seeing it I compared notes with my wife who read the book but decided not to see the movie with me. Apparently it was just a jumping off point. Everything from little details of the life altering scarf she wears to broad themes about where she worked and how she was outed to the world as a shopaholic differed and I could see why. The film offers up a less aggressive idea. Something easy to condense and get through in 90-minutes. It works and I think most folks won’t be disappointed with the loose translation.
My biggest question leaving the theater was, “Who are they marketing this film to?” The trailers are borderline insulting in terms of female sterotypes and they only offer a portion of what’s going on here. This is far from a great story but it’s better than what the trailer implies.
I don’t think so. Even to fellow shopoholics that really understand and relish Rebecca’s love of shopping, I think the same old jokes will get real old real fast. Why ruin those jokes? They’ll become completely ineffectual the next time you see a movie about a girl that loves shoes? That is a precious stereotype not worth ruining. I’m being sarcastic but only a little.
I have three pairs of shoes and two of them are “dress”. The third pair is a beat-up pair of sneakers that I’ve been wearing for over a year. They look it. I’ve been wearing that dirty old hat since 8th grade. My wardrobe is far from glamorous.
Yeo knows how to dress and I appreciate that. She’s beautiful and she dresses the part. I’d like to think that I let my wardrobe suffer so hers could shine but the truth is I’m comfortable in jeans that cost 12 dollars and T-shirts I buy at comic book conventions. I like the idea though of getting dressed up at least once a year and living the other life. My idea of dressing up though is putting on my non-faded jeans and a T-shirt I bought online from a webcomic based in London. International!
Now… if I could trouble you for a couple votes…
I’d fallen behind a week on doing the comics from my Top Ten list. Blame the convention, which consumed me enough to be distracted from changing my Netflix account to send me the right movie. (We totally got stuck with Nights In Rodanthe.) I’ve covered Iron Man and Wanted at your request and it’s time to find out what’s next. This round I’ve made three big changes. I’ve created a poll that anyone can vote on instead of board members only, though I do encourage you to head on over and share your thoughts with the community.
Making it more available lead to big change umber two – limited space. I like the way Buzzdash works but they only allow 5 spaces. I decided to pick the biggest contenders from the previous week and add in change number three, the WILD CARD: The other big change is the addition of Pan’s Labyrinth, a movie that I’ve had many requests to review and one I’m sorry I never got around to. I’ll be adding in movies form time to time to keep things moving and keep things interesting. I hope that’s cool. So off you go – VOTE!
I’d also be grateful if you voted for AVW over at Joystiq.com. We got picked up by their weekly webcomic thing and had a lot of folks coming over to check out the new strip. If you haven’t had time to check it out, do so now.
That’s it for now but I’ll have and Underworld 3 review up tonight and you can hear me and the guys talk about movies and our Oscar predictions tonight on the Triple Feature. Thanks for reading.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V