Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo
Released: 8/12/05
Viewed: 10:10:pm 8/13/05
Starring: Rob Schneider, Eddie Griffin, Hanna Verboom
Directed by: Mike Bigelow
This is a special moment. The moment when I loose all credibility. Get ready for it. Or, take a chance on a crappy cartoonists crappy hope that a crappy movie can be one of the most entertaining movies of the summer. Because Deuce Bigalow 2 is good. How good? Well, there's a problem there. I'm going to tell you how good, but either you won't believe me, or it will raise your expectations and ruin the movie for you. So before you read the next paragraph know inside, that by reading it you ensure that Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo will NEVER, EVER, live up to the hype.
Still with me? Ok. Deuce Bigalow is the Spider-man 2 of low brow comedy. I sh*t you not. It takes the original premise, adds to it. Expands on it. Makes it better, and enormously funnier. Take a moment to think about the first one. It's got its little funny moments. It's a nice throw away movie that makes you giggle. There's nothing wrong with it, but if you felt shame in loving it (like I did) then it was justified. The sequel should yield no shame.
The reason why is because it doesn't stop being funny. I was laughing constantly. There was one moment where the jokes kept coming and I couldn't stop laughing even after the jokes had stopped. I seriously thought I was going to have to leave the theater and compose myself so I could join the crowd again. Thankfully something else funny happen and everyone joined in my laughter.
See what I mean? Did you read that? Of course you did. Now you'll go to see the movie, and in the back of your head you'll be saying, "Well this is kind of funny, but what the hell was Joe talking about!?" Well first ? stop thinking about me. Your girlfriend needs the attention. She told me. Secondly, there are all kids of outside influences that may have played a part.
- I saw the movie with a good crowd. They were super into it, and let's face it, it's a lot easier to get lost in the moment when everyone else is laughing diet coke out their noses.
- No interference. The seat next to me was busted so besides some talkers behind me I was in my comfort zone. I seriously considered taking my shoes off and cutting my nails about 20 minutes in.
- Lowered expectations. Wow, I thought this movie was going to suck. Going in I turned to Yeo and said, "This is going to be bad. You sure you don't want to sneak into Hustle and Flow?"
So you might be making some snap judgments:
- "Joe was trashed. He got drunk to the point where a turtle crossing the road was the funniest thing he'd ever seen." Nope I was dry as the desert, and focused like a laser beam. If it was a Vin Diesel movie I would have been blitzed out of my mind. But not Deuce.
- "Joe feels bad for Schneider and wants to show support." Well, hell that's true. Recently he's taken crap from some of the bigger critics. Ebert slammed him pretty bad. Schneider came out of it looking like a crybaby that can't take criticism or give it back. It's hard. If I was him, and I worked on something and was really proud of it, and someone just crapped all over it? I would be pissed too. But he took out a full page add attacking back. That can't be done. You gotta play it cool. Doing it may give you a little extra press, but it will loose you respect. I love Schneider's movies but I love them for what they are. They're funny as hell. But they won't change the world.
Just to reassure you ? I'm not crazy. There are a few questionable moments. At one point he's in a diaper, which got laughs but just played as silly. There's also a boat that has hydraulics. That joke is played out. It wasn't funny with the plane in Soul Plane. It wasn't funny with the Boat here. Some of the women he dates have "issues" or handicaps that shouldn't really be made fun of. When they first show up you sort of cringe in your seat. Still it does work. They make you accept it, and they make it funny. And the way they did that was like they did in the first movie ? with heart.
At it's core the Deuce movies will always be about a below average man trying to overcome a problem not by having sex with women, but by making the women feel like women. If a woman has a problem and they think sex is the solution, he turns on the heart light and shows them that they need to accept themselves to truly be happy. He makes them feel good about themselves and that trumps whatever problems they have. It was great to see that aspect of the character come back. Still the woman with the penis on her face is freaky. But I'm telling you ? see it with the right crowd and you'll be laughing your ass off.
A sweet love story, and a terrorist killing Europe's finest gigolo surround all of this. It's a thin plot, but it works. It's way more complicated then the origional, yet still not as complicated as an episode of Full House.
Not everyone will love this movie. I pretty much promise that people will loose complete respect for me on this. It's fine. I need to follow my heart on this one. Those who see Deuce based on this review and hate it ? I'm sorry. It's not for everyone. Nothing is. But for the three of you that go see it and like it? Call me, we'll start a club.
This movie is perfect by no means, but honest to god it was like a breath of fresh air in this crappy summer movie season. If you're willing to give yourself to the movie god's you'll laugh non stop. 9 out of 10 I'm going to take a lot of crap for that rating but when I walked out I was hunting for reasons to not give it the 10. A week later I look back and the reasons are clearer. It's not as funny as a movie like Anchorman. It's also not as memorable, but I have a theory on that. Deuce Bigalow is much less of a character. He doesn't have a crazy voice or a huge wig. It's basically Rob Schneider on screen doing his thing. The humors also not delivery based. It's all situational. You won't be quoting any memorable lines, because there are none. You will be thinking about what Eddie Griffin did in that bathroom though. It will haunt you for weeks. Griffin is on point in this movie, by the way. Some of his funniest stuff to date.
DVD worthy?: Damn right. If I bought the first one (Which I did) Then I'm certainly going to by the second one. It's the kind of movie I can put on casually and just laugh, and if something comes up and I have to leave? well I'm not to invested, because it's about man-whores.
If you liked this movie check out : Ace Ventura Pet Detective
I instantly thought of Ace Ventura when leaving this movie. I can remember going to my friend Rich's house and watching Ace Ventura every other day and just laughing our asses off. 10 seconds wouldn't go by before you saw something that would make you laugh out loud. I had the same feelings here. Looking back Ace was pretty annoying at the same time. Jim Carry was great and I think playing it over the top was the right way to go. But how many times that year did people say to you "REAL-EAL-EAL-EALLLY!? " There's nothing wrong with quoting a movie but I'm glad the jokes in Deuce don't rest on him being a crazy character.
Go rent Ace and laugh ?til you pee from it.
Trailer Hitch: Nana's Boy
A slew of good trailers came up before this movie, but when I saw this trailer I knew I had to give it my attention. Mainly because it's so directly related to the Adam Sandler ? Happy/Madison family. It stars and was written by Allen Covert who has been in every Sandler starring/produced movie since Happy Gilmore where he was the grizzly caddy. Also in the trailer you can easily pick out at least 4 more Sandler buds. It's as if they paid their dues, and Adam finally agreed to make the movie they've been pitching for 15 years. I'm sure that's not the case, but it's funny that way.
The movie looks good. I'm not a huge Doris Roberts fan, who plays Nana, but people love her, so good for them. And her. Whatever.
So, many of you may think me crazy for how much I liked Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo. Cast your vote to see what will inevitably be my future. I'm not crazy. I swear it. I just love crappy movies? Speaking of voting. You guys are out of control. JLCM is in 11th place right now and I don't even know where the votes are coming from. You're brilliant, and I love you. Almost as much as I loved Deuce Bigalow. Seriously ? JLCM is approaching 1,000 votes in a month for the first time ever. When it happens, I'm not sure what I'll be doing. But I'm sure I'll have no pants on. Thank you a thousand times. I'm putting up a bonus incentive in my LiveJournal because you've all been so supportive and you deserve a hundred incentive images a day.
Last thing. Recently a good reader added JLCM to The web comic list Thank you stranger. It's a site that I've used before but never added any of my strips to. I'm not really sure why, but there it is, so if you're a member over there check out JLCM.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
