Starring: Bruce Willis, Timothy Olyphant, Justin Long, Maggie Q, Cliff Curtis, Kevin Smith, Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Directed by: Len Wiseman

20th Century Fox

The Official Site of Live Free or Die Hard

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This movie is the fucking balls.

Rating: 9.5 out of 10 - Live Free or Die Hard is hands down the roughest and most relentlessly awesome action movie of the year. Granted, the competition for the first half of 2007 has been a little ho-hum (Smokin’ Aces withstanding), and Transformers (Say what you want about the man but Michael Bay knows how to blow stuff up) will have a lot to say about that in seven days time. But let’s let a genuine action icon enjoy his week in the sun.

Without a doubt. Die Hard has never been bigger, badder or ballseier, and I need to relive that in the comfort of my own home. Plus, 20th Century Fox recognizes what they have in Die Hard as a property, (as is evident in the Ultimate Die Hard Collection that’s packed with commentaries, deleted scenes, and various other extra awesomeness) so you know they’re going to put their best foot forward when releasing Live Free or Die Hard on home video. In addition, as the first of the franchise to be produced in the era of the DVD, there’s bound to be a ton of features geared specifically towards the release. But it’s not always about the extras. If it were just the movie I would still happily whip out my credit card and skip home perfectly content. But this is one movie where you just know they’re going to treat us DVD snobs right.

Enemy of The State - Going in I sort of expected this movie to be Die Hard vs. Technology, but not to the extent that it actually is. I mean, how entertaining is it to see John McClain punching a computer? “Die Hard 5: There is No Paper Jam!�

What Die Hard 4 really showed me is how cripplingly dependent we are as a society on technology. Without it the world devolves into complete anarchy. Chaos in the streets. Overturned cop cars. Trashcan fires. Cats loving dogs. Etc. That’s where John McClain easily fits in with a story about technological warfare.

But to get to that point you need a script that’s smart with its technology. You can’t just say, “Y2K! Run for your lives!� And Die Hard 4 is actually pretty clever in the way it takes a closer look at how easy it is for the bad guys to access records, monitor people and ruin their lives. In that aspect this movie reminded very much of the Will Smith big brother adventure Enemy of the State. In 1998 when Enemy of the State was released, surveillance by the government was an untapped well in cinema and a concept limited to rumors of real world corruption and sci-fi fiction’s projection of a bleak future. As much as the concept scared the bejesus out of me I couldn’t help but be sucked in by the unique approach and non-stop excitement the film offered up. With a great cast including Gene Hackman and Jon Voight, and some of the sharpest work that Tony Scott has ever done, Enemy of the State stands out as one of the better action films of the last 10 years that just so happens to be intelligent and fun as well. If you liked this latest tech savvy Die Hard adventure, this is a movie definitely worth checking out.

There’s been a lot of hubbub about a Die Hard movie dropping down to a PG-13 rating and I can understand why some fans might be upset by it, but this is a business. There’s no way that they would be able to compete against Ratatouille, Evan Almighty and Fantastic Four 2 if they’re cutting out half their audience. On principal I’m against the censorship of it all. I’ve never liked it when a horror movie or a comedy skimps on the scares and jokes just for a better first weekend opening, and I show the same lack of support for an action movie that does the same. Especially for a franchise where the main character’s every third word is “fuck�.

While it bothers me, I refuse to make a big deal out of it. Mostly because I know they can get away with a lot. You’d be amazed at the amount of hard-nosed action the MPAA will let through as long as you don’t show too much blood. And I’m cool with that. I don’t need to see a guys head being shattered in two as long as I can see the truck he’s in getting run through by a jet. That’s cool. The fight sequences in Live Free or Die Hard match up with the rest of the franchise just fine, and isn’t that what matters the most?

If you’re missing the curse words then you’re going to remain pissed, and today’s comic relates directly to the limitations that a PG-13 rating will put on language. One f-word is all you get, and just for the record, they did use that one freebee on John McClain’s catch phrase. Though it’s somewhat covered up by a gun going off which kind of felt cheap.

The other Die Hard films are littered with curse words and while I didn’t miss them here, it was clear that some of the actors did. There’s a few bad dubs in the film where what we’re hearing isn’t what’s being said. One of those quick slips was clearly Olyphant dropping the F-bomb. For those of you that genuinely miss the foul language, pray for an unrated DVD or just go back in time and record yourself when you first heard Die Hard 4 was going to be rated PG-13 and play that while you’re watching the movie. Which ever of those is less complicated…

Live Free or Die Hard’s official site is pretty standard. Trailers, photos, synopsis all done in a very professional if not flashy manor, but it wasn’t until I got to the games section that I found something really worth telling you guys about. There are two games listed: Drive Hard and John McClain’s Bare Knuckle Brawl. Skip the cheap Spy Hunter rip-off and go directly to the fight simulator that’s actually Wii compatible! That’s right, using the Wii’s Internet browser you can play this 3rd person fighter with your Wii controller. And I’ve gotta say that playing it on your computer doesn’t quite cut it. Nothing has made me want to go out and buy a Wii more than this little movie tie-in game. It’s such a brilliant promotion and if it catches on with other movies I may not be able to resist the lure of the Wii much longer.

Hitman - Yep… It’s another videogame adaptation. But because it features a silent but deadly hitman with a sleek look and a mysterious past, it could actually be a good one. Of course it’s just as likely that it’ll be the male version of Tomb Raider. And the only thing that movie had going for it was tits.

When Timothy Olyphant stepped into the role after Vin Diesel’s departure, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Vin is an action star and a forceful presence on screen. And it’s not that I don’t like Olyphant, but can he carry his own movie? Especially with a character like Agent 47? I had since been convinced that he could but even if there were the slightest doubt still lingering, this sharp and faithful teaser trailer would have cleared it out completely.

With a beautiful opera setting the tone we’re treated to a cleanly shaven Olyphant skulking, sulking and taking aim as the perfect real world counter part to the now classic video game character. They even go as far as to stage some of the covers from the best selling series. It’s pretty sweet.

Looking at it now, it’s a blessing that Diesel dropped out. He would have been good, but he’s too recognizable. More specifically – he’s too recognizable as this type of character. He’s played the brooding, perfect action hero nearly half a dozen times now and as much as I like him in those roles, it’s beginning to become the same old thing. With Olyphant, this movie has a chance to be more than an aimless action movie or an uninspired videogame adaptation. And I can’t wait.

I wanted to offer a quick shout out to Angel Ninja vs. Devil Ninja, a comic I first heard about a couple of weeks ago at Wizard World Philly when I met the creators. I was instantly hooked because… well because ninjas are awesome, but the comic proved to go far beyond that cleverly introducing jokes about booze, women and the simple life for two supreme creatures on Earth. Do yourself a favor and check it out.

Also, I wanted to thank everyone for the warm response to the return of the Muggle Shirts. We were kind of nervous about how it might go, but I’ve gotten a ton of e-mails and orders from people that are grateful to see the shirt back up for sale again. Even if it is only for a limited amount of time. Now go tell your Harry Potter obsessed friend and spread the word! And don’t doodle. The pre-order period ends on July 13th!