Released: 05/19/06

Viewed: 10:00pm 05/18/06

Starring: Kane

Directed by: Gregory Dark

Lions Gate Films/WWE Official Site of the movie

About the Comic: Yeah, this one is a little weird. I realized halfway through that it would be either hit or miss. Some people will appreciate the reference to See No Evil, Hear No Evil but it would go over everyone else’s heads. If you’ve never seen it, check it out. Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder are a great comedy team, and it has Kevin Spacey as the villain. That’s hardcore. On to the review.

I’d been waiting for See No Evil. The idea that The WWE, the biggest company in the world of professional wrestling, was bankrolling and producing their own film, is hilarious. Not hilarious enough to base the comic on apparently, but still – very funny. But I’m realistic enough to know that there’s nothing funny about their potential. There’s no reason they shouldn’t be making their own films. WWE and dozens of the individual wrestling personalities have an enormous fan base of all ages, with little in theaters now to make them want to miss Smackdown. The Rock has proven that with the right roles there is big screen success beyond the mat, so why not give it a shot? What have they got to lose?

It was great to see that they really put their best foot forward. See No Evil has a good look to it. Dirty and gritty in a way where you can tell the set designer has seen SE7EN more than a dozen times. It has a couple of great CGI sequences, and some fun action that the wrestling fans will eat up with a spoon. As a disillusioned tool of destruction to the lord, Kane swings people back and forth as if they were a weightless sack of potatoes bashing into door frames and bouncing off the floor boards as they flopped along behind him during his hurried exits.

These moments played comically and had everyone in the theater reacting with laughter and shouting, but I think that is a positive for the movie. See No Evil could be taken as a straight horror movie and I think it would stand well enough on those two legs, but the screams and giggles at the characters expense really endear him to you. You’ll become less frightened of him, but when it counts you’ll sympathize with him, and even cheer him on as he takes out the troubled group Die Hard style.

The basics of the story are just that – basic. Some kids in juvenile detention are taken to clean up an old hotel where Kane starts picking them off one by one. It’s an interesting enough premise but it’s nothing mind blowing. Where they make up for that is set up. I have to give credit to the entire writing, production and directing staff for giving as much time as they did to the back-story. There is WAY more character development in See No Evil then anyone was expecting. And in a movie like this where you want to keep the thing moving and people dying, it’s really cool that they found a way to establish the situation and the main players in it. It makes the ending worthwhile.

Now I don’t want to give you the impression that this was all awesome. Just because they surprised me by setting out to make a really good movie does not mean the movie is actually good. The pacing is slow, it’s not very scary at all, and the big twist endings you’ll see coming. The deaths are tame by current teen slasher flick standards. There’s some gore, but if people aren’t dying in a cool way then you’re going to lose me completely. The one exception is the final death sequence, which looked fantastic and had everyone leaving the theater in a kind of stupefied awe where we all almost forgot how disappointing the majority of the film was.

I would say that the filmmakers' hearts' were in the right place and that they made an entertaining movie, but that it’s no horror classic. I blame the recurring masturbation theme and the complete lack of boobs. R rated horror movie with none of the normal TV restrictions, and a target audience of pro wrestling fans? I figured a gratuitous shower scene was a given. Imagine my surprise when I found out that See No Evil’s director Gregory Dark had never done a big budget studio film before, but that he cut his teeth making DOZENS of pornos. How can the guy that brought us Between the Cheeks III not put in a little side boob? Come on!

Rating: 5 out of 10

Entertaining but nothing special. It was worth the trip because my friends and I were able to laugh about it and rip it to shreds afterwards. Had I gone alone the story might have been very different.

DVD Worthy?:

Not for me. It was fun but not so good I couldn’t live without it, and not so bad that I couldn’t live without making fun of it. Maybe if it had some more gore, some more laughs, and a boob. Those all would have been good selling points, but in the end, the movie's just not strong enough to pay to own.

If you liked this movie check out: Friday the 13th

I really felt like the underlying story they were setting up in See No Evil was just a new spin on the Friday the 13th history. Primarily the echoed twisted relationship between mother and son. They did a great job in See No Evil of establishing that and laying down a proper character. Friday the 13th plays it down a little but a dozen films later people know the score. They know exactly what Jason is all about. Looking back it’s a lot of camp ground gore with minimal set up, but set up or no set up, Jason Voorhees is one of the greatest horror villains of all time. Kane’s masturbatory religious mamma’s boy doesn’t come close to the hockey-masked maniac.

Vote incentive:

One of the best parts of See No Evil was one of the more extravagant death scenes. I don’t want to even hint at whose death it is but you can tell they put their special effects budget into this 2 minutes. After the movie Irv, Steven and I talked at length about this scene and the conversation included Irv reenacting the scene with his own special sound effects and hand gestures. Today’s incentive is my attempt to capture Irv’s death scene reenactment. Truly though, nothing that special could properly be captured on paper.

Thanks to everyone that’s been voting. We just started a new month at the top comic listings so don’t forget to vote at Top Web Comics too. You guys rule!

Non Movie Related Stuff.

There’s an obscene amount of non-movie stuff going on and I may not be able to cover it all now. Reason being because I’m recovering from this weekend's Wizard World East convention in Philly. We do this show every year and I love it, but this year it sort of snuck up on me. I feel like we weren’t quite ready. I mean, we had shirts and books and the new JLCM buttons (official announcement soon!) to sell, but something felt off. It just snuck up on me.

Phil and I will be there both days though, so if you’re in the neighborhood, stop on by.

On Sunday of this week I had another guest strip for Theater Hopper go up. Some of you may remember the last one I did which was written by Daniel over at DEN. This last strip was written by Mark who gave me just as much quality to work with. Both were great strips I’m really happy to be a part of.

As if being part of two comics in this current Theater Hopper guest streak weren’t enough, Yeo and I actually appear in one courtesy of the brilliant and dangerous man known as Beefy. I love the whole death battle scenario and I think Tom and Joe should battle on a yearly basis with Yeo and Cami going out for tea and discussing how ridiculous we are. Battle on! Thanks again Beefy. You’re the man.

Got a new never before seen strip up over at Clickwheel. It’s the comic for Just My Luck. Kind of a straightforward gag, but I like it. Head on over and get yourself a sneak preview of the strip!

Joshua Tree Comics has a feature where they have suggested reading, and Josh had a nice little write up about JLCM for this week. Such nice things to say, and a pretty sweet looking comic too. I love the heavy line. The Joshua Tree Comic has a nice solid run going. Check it out.

Lastly (for now), I’ve added JLCM to Onlinecomics.net. It’s one of those web comic communities where you can collect all the strips you read together. Sort of like bookmarking them but with the option to comment on them and share your thoughts with others. It’s pretty well organized and I’m not sure why I hadn’t joined up sooner.

That’s all for now. See you soon.