Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Released: 5/19/05
Viewed: 7:00pm 5/19/05
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Ian McDiarmid
Directed by: George Lucas
Forget the writer/Director. For get the moments of sadness and pain that the audience laughed through. Forget the flashes of bad dialogue. Forget the flashes of bad performance. That's Obi Wan Kenobi fighting Darth Vader in a Volcano, people! This is what you've been waiting for! This is STAR WARS!
So long coming, and there have been so many different reactions, but for me ? they did it. Lucas and company really delivered in this final chapter of the first trilogy. The story, the action, the visual effects were all stepped up. And as a fan of Star Wars, as a person that went in ready to have a good time - this movie was what I hoped for. I'm a happy geek.
Now before you start moaning and groaning ? yeah, there's some crap ass dialogue. And some crap ass performances. But honestly, you were sort of expecting that too, right? There are some scenes in this where Hayden Christensen is so unconvincing that I couldn't decide if he was a bad actor, or a brilliant mimic of Jake Lloyds performance as the same charter in episode one. Because if he was going for a carbon copy? well say hello to Oscar.
But thankfully there are moments where he's very good. Charming, fiendish, lost, confused. Everything Anakin should be. It can't be an easy role to play either. This poor bastard really gets messed up not only physically but emotionally as well.
Visually this movie is stunning. Leaps and bounds over any of the other episodes. From CGI backgrounds, aircraft, creatures, to the back flips in the light saber duels, this movie is flawless and beautiful. They've really put together a great adventure from start to finish, filled with hundreds upon hundred of great ideas. The vehicles, the creatures, the locations of the grand battles (Yoda and the Emperor in the Senate ? Insanely awesome)? there is constantly something visual for you to enjoy.
The ledged and mythology of Star Wars are treated with respect and honor, as they should be. The transition to the dark side (although a little rushed) is clear and justly explained. Loose ends are tied up really well. Yoda and Obi Wan rule all. It was just right for me. So much so that I'm willing to forgive the flawed dialogue and the spotty performances, because it wasn't always flawed, and it wasn't always spotty. And this is Star Wars. What do you expect. Bad ass fighting of legendary characters, as they decide the future of the galaxy with light sabers. Check. It's there.
I'm being brief because I plan on seeing the movie again and reviewing different aspects of it. So in the next 2 weeks expect comics/reviews focusing on:
The Dark side: Anakin's fall to the dark side and how it was handled in Revenge of the Sith. As well as a deeper look at the villains from the first trilogy and why they were never as threatening as Vader was.
Rewrite: I'll talk about how the dialogue effected me as a viewer, and how it seems to be the universal point that people hate about this film and the two the proceeded it. "Are you an Angel?"
Lookin' good: My take on the best and worst of the visual effects. Including all the CGI, make up, camera work, and fight sequences.
So I beg you ? forgive a few cases of bad dialogue and go enjoy the feast for the eyes that Lucas films has put together. I guarantee you that there's something there you'll love. It most likely won't be James Earl Jones screaming "NOOOOOO!!!" as a audience laughs until they've fallen from they're chairs? but there will be something.
8.5 out of 10 I really considered giving it a higher score, but the flaws are there, and I can't in good faith give out a 9 or a 10 to an imperfect movie.
DVD Worthy? It's the only one of the new trilogy that is. I will buy this when it comes out and I could see myself watching and enjoying it a couple times a year.
Trailer Hitch: A new feature where I talk about the best or worst trailer seen before the movie.
Fatastic Four ? full trailer: After a disappointing teaser in the fall, the proper advertising push for this movie has finally begun, and there are seemingly huge hits and one sad miss. They've nailed Johnny Storm. He's the star of this trailer. Sure, he's missing his flash of Blonde hair, but Chris Evan's seems otherwise to be a perfect fit. Attitude, look, energy, are all there. When he jumps off the building and screams "Flame on!" Well? as a long time FF fan? it was great.
I'm a little bummed with the Thing. I had thought ht looked pretty decent. No eyebrow. Get over it. But I was overall pretty pleased with the look. Seeing it on the big screen. It really looks like a guy in a costume. And that's never cool. I'll give it the benefit of the doubt and hope it works out.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
