Hostel

Released: 01/06/06

Viewed: 2:40pm 01/06/06

Starring: Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, Barbara Nedeljakova, Jan Vlasak

Directed by: Eli Roth

Lions Gate Films - Official Site of the movie

Eli Roth has followed up his indie hit Cabin Fever with a terrifying concept of torture and mayhem wrapped in a porno. Hostel, the story of two college students on vacation in Europe looking for fun and ladies, reads like a Penthouse letter that has gone horribly HORIBLY wrong.

Things are going along great. In fact, if you didn't know any better, if you just stumbled in after Memories of a Geisha turned boring, you'd think this was a good old fashioned teen sex romp. For literally the first 45 minutes of the movie there's no jumps, no scares, no creepy old ladies cackling at the moon. There's not one hint that this is anything other than kids in Europe getting high and getting laid.

Then BAM! People go missing, and? craziness ensues. This misdirection is interesting. It's something I saw in Wolf Creek a couple weeks back as well. It's more natural. It's how the horror would happen in real life. We're so used to these slick big budget horror movies that keep you on the edge of your seat with loud bumps and cats jumping out of closets. It would be great if that were how it was in real life, if we had these warnings of danger.

"The dogs barking a lot you say, and there's a flickering light in the garage? We're moving TODAY."

In real life we'd feed the dog and change the light bulb. So it makes me happy that these new horror films are telling a normal story, and then showing you how it goes awry. It's definitely less flashy, but having this false sense of security brings a new level of terror to the experience.

Now, there are a lot of boobs in this movie. More than your average slasher horror movie, even more than your average teen sex movie. Seriously, they're all over the place. And it's awesome. But in this boob viewing fun, how does the horror fit in?

Well it definitely switches gears and becomes a horror movie after Jay Hernandez wakes up to find his buddies gone without a trace. From there on out it's a boob free zone. But it was good while it lasted.

The scary stuff itself, like the misleading set up, is also sort of unique. Horror in resent years has become less and less about intellectual terror, or potential unseen threats. Gone are the days of Hitchcock when it used to be enough to think that this freaky guy might come after you. Now he actually has to get you. Now the frightening part of the film is how much they'll actually show. Will we see the bad guy use that chainsaw? Will we see what he's doing with that blowtorch on that guys face? How far will they take this?

Pretty damn far. There aren't a lot of uncomfortable scenes in this movie, but there's a solid half hour in there that is hard to watch. That will be the big buzz on this movie. The "I can't believe they actually showed that on screen!" buzz. Needless to say, the gore score is pretty high.

Both sides of the movie are pretty effective. The set up feels a little drawn out because you're waiting for the horror, but there's plenty of boobs to keep you company, so it's cool. The horror scenes, and the last third of the movie are really well done. You'll route for the hero, you'll yell at the screen that he's an idiot, and you'll squirm until you think it's safe to look.

WARNING, the next paragraph contains a mild spoilers Be warned.

There are some questionable parts about the ending. I mean, it wraps up nicely in a big pretty bow. All the ducks line up for him to shoot (or sideswipe) if you know what I mean. And it all seemed a little convenient, but honestly, I was so wrapped up in the excitement of it all that I didn't really care. It was fun, and it's better than a bunch of loose ends. I would love to discuss the parable of the ending but I can not without spoilers. It'll have to wait for now.

Spoiler over

I'm not a huge fan of horror, but this movie was a lot of fun to watch. 7 out of 10. It doesn't have it all, but if you're a horror freak that's not afraid of the gory stuff, then you'll love it.

DVD worthy?: Nah, it's too disjointed for my taste, and the fun of the final chapter would get tired after a while. I would be interested in some special features though. Behind the scenes, how much Tarantino was actually involved. Stuff like that. Of course if you love boobs ? it's certainly worth 15 bucks.

If you liked this movie check out: Cabin Fever

Watching this movie and doing the research for the movie all I kept wanting to see Cabin Fever. If only to see why I've heard so many bad things from everyone except Tarantino. How bad could it be, Sean from Boy Meets World is in it!?

But on a deeper level, there were some moments in the film that made me think of 28 days later. 28 Days later did a beautiful job of showing the inner survivor that will do whatever they need to do to survive. Man at his most basic. Hostel sort of plays with that idea, but in a different way. These are people that are voluntarily turning towards their basic instincts for the thrill. But there is a moment in the movie where the extreme actions are based more on necessity, and less on desire.

Trailer Hitch: Hard Candy

Where the hell did Hard Candy come from!? A 32-year-old man takes home a 14-year-old girl he met online. The trailer reveals little tastes of their interaction and conversation, and you just know where it's going. But the end of the trailer reveals it may be going in a completely different direction. Not only does that direction come off as creepy and frightening, but also the set up of them talking made my skin crawl. I'm anticipating a lot of uncomfortable wiggling in my chair the day this movie comes out.

Hey, thanks for reading everyone, and thanks for all the votes you've been casting. Got JLCM back into the top 5. I'll love you forever. If you vote today you'll see a drawing of how Irv and I would bring the world of boobs and gore a little closer together. It's not creepy at all I swear. But it is poorly drawn. I did it during LOST. Can you believe the showed the monster!?