Released: 11/23/05

Viewed: 4:40pm 11/29/05

Starring: John Cusak, Billy Bob Thorton, Oliver Platt, Connie Nielsen, Randy Quaid

Directed by: Harold Ramis

The book must be awesome because the overwhelming feeling you get from The Ice Harvest is that it's constantly trying too hard to be cooler then it actually is. The result is a stiff, frozen, boring ride of miserable people its not even fun to hate. And you know the movie sucks when, even Cusack as your lead and Connie Nielsen parading around in her underwear, can't raise the level of cool to a respectable level. So I'm blaming the book. It's has got to be too good to translate. That's the only explanation.

The film is ridiculously dark. The trailers make it out to be this fun Christmas mob land romp where the boys get in trouble and go through a bunch of wacky antics to get out of it. I guess that sort of happens but it doesn't have the charm and "good times" the trailer baits you with. It's a lot more backstabbing, money grubbing, "this is how you're going to die" non-humor.

But it just can't get past the dark. Everyone in the movie is a bad guy and there is a natural problem right there. Who are we meant to route for? It's not like this guy is ANY better then this other guy. None of the major players have any redeeming qualities, so why should we care what happens to them? There's something to be said for a good anti-hero: someone who goes about doing the right thing the wrong way. That's not here.

Instead we're forced to route for cheer on the person who's on screen the most. Not because he's noble. Not because he's in the right. The best reason we're given is that he MIGHT get laid.

Ok, it's a pretty good reason, but nothing to build a movie around.

As the above comic teases a lot of the movies negatives come around because Cusack is trying to get back to some sweet sweet lovin'. But who can blame him? Connie Nielson is undeniably appealing. She gets some of the best lines in the movie and the performance is so classic and sleek (especially for this genre) that if it weren't for a bunch of naked strippers flopping around behind her, you could easily confuse her scenes for ones form a classic 40's crime caper.

And as hard as I'm coming down on the specifics of the plot, there are some great performances here. Cusack, while completely unlikable, still delivers the great lines in a way that makes you want to be him. He's the man, end of discussion. He's great in the romantic comedies he does (High Fidelity, Must Love Dogs, Serendipity) and thank god he still does them on a regular basis. But watching this I sort of got the feeling this is where hi heart is. I just wqish it could have come together better.

Teaming Cusack up with Billy Bob Thorton yields some of the better scenes in the movie. These guys were great together in Pushing Tin a few years ago, and it's no different here. More would have been nice though.

I also liked Randy Quaid who is pure evil. His performance reminded me of Ed Harris in A History of Violence in that it looked like he was just having a REALLY good time playing the bad guy for a short weekend in Van Couver.

So our director is none other than Harold Ramis who is best know as Egon from the Ghostbusters franchise. He's come along to direct some really great films so when I heard his name attached to Harvest I had few worries.

But where is the funny? It's almost as if he was trying to prove that he could make a movie without using humor as a crutch, but the funny that he usually brings might have actually saved this movie. I mean, there's a guy in trunk ? right there, that's like 20 jokes.

What I can't blame him for though is the weak ending. Without getting into spoilers, three endings were shot. The sad ending, the happy ending, and the ironic funny ending. One of them was from the book, but big Hollywood wouldn't let them use that one because of test audience reaction.

Another case where art takes a beating from potential cash flow. Whatever, this movie tanked.

Looking back it was just too frustrating. Not enough happens plot-wise to warrant this sort of storytelling, the sort where we follow a character through one night. Excluding all the deaths ? it was a pretty lame night. Some good performances but a slow paced simple story with the wrong ending soured the entire experience.

4 out of 10

Disappointing considering whose involved, everyone's been better. I can't recommend seeing it in theaters but if you love crime stories and watching people suffer through long frustrating nights, then it might be worth your time. .

DVD worthy?: No, although I have a feeling a second viewing would go much better. Virtually everyone in the cast is the type of performer that has little nuances in their delivery that make certain moments endearing. Less obvious moments. I'm actually looking forward to going back and familiarizing myself with it more. But not for over 10 bucks.

If you liked this movie check out: Fargo

Fargo is the ultimate dark comedy effortlessly blending shockingly brutal and hysterically funny. It beast Harvest out in nearly every field. Plot, complexity, pacing, editing, performances, humor, twist ending. It's all better in Fargo, but truth be told, it all comes down to the Cohen brothers. I love Harold Ramis, but there's a reason the Cohen brother's are the Cohen Brothers.

Today's incentive image shows the shocking truth of whose running the show in my house. Vote to see, and thanks for reading everyone!