Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
There Is No Such Thing As A Guilty Pleasure
I’m a big supporter of the guilty pleasure. I will go to my grave defending White Chicks, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo and every wrong move of Adam Sandler’s career. It is our right and duty to honor the films that speak to us… even if they don’t speak to anyone else.
There should be no real shame in liking any movie but I get it. Most people are quick to hate on something before praising it (or even watching it) so it has become a difficult time to really connect with something and support it. Especially something that has already been wildly and widely crapped upon. Take something like John Carter for instance. Super fun movie. Super stupid title. Considered the largest disaster of the year and will go down in history with movies like Pluto Nash, though it will do so undeservingly. There are a lot of people that love John Carter and it’s great to see them passionately defending it against a sea of cynicism from people that didn’t like it or didn’t bother to give it a shot. I wouldn’t be surprised though if about a 3rd of the people that really loved the film turtled up once the tide turned on it. It’s easier to ignore the conversation than become part of battered few on the other side of it. Worse yet are the people that loved it but ragged on it because everyone else was. Classic bullying. Also classic guilty pleasure behavior.
Is it possibility that there’s an allure to the exclusivity of it? Do people really like The Room or do they like it because no one else has seen it. (The Room could easily fall into the “so bad it’s good” category but you see what I’m getting at.) Or is this all just a case of faulty memory? Do people really like Girls Just Want to Have Fun or did they just like it when they were 9-years old and it was on all the time? Would these films be classics if we saw them now or would our once glorious guilty pleasures be tarnished by the wisdom of years and common sense?
I don’t think it really matters. A true guilty pleasure is one you can’t live without. It’s when Serendipity comes on TBS and you just can’t seem to drag your ass away from it all Sunday afternoon. It’s when you flip past Can’t Hardly Wait on your way to Storage Wars and you can’t seem to force the remote to continue clicking. It’s when you kick you family out of the house and say, “You know what… it’s a Con Air [Blu-ray]
kind of day. See ya around.”
Do not be ashamed of that which you love. There’s a reason you love it and you shouldn’t be afraid to share that with people. I’m not saying you should get a Bad Boys II (Two-Disc Special Edition)
tattoo on your neck but there’s no harm in taking a dramatic pause and saying “Shit just got real” every once and a while.
Thanks so much for stopping by today. If you’re headed towards Chicago this coming weekend and happened to be attending C2E2, please be sure to stop by and say hello at booth 725. New shirts, new posters…a new Turtle Vs. Bunny book. Lots of fun stuff.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
