Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Toy Story 3
Starring: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Ned Beatty, Don Rickles, Michael Keaton, John Ratzenberger
Directed by: Lee Unkrich
Pixar Studios
The Official Site of Toy Story 3
It seems like every time a Pixar movie is released the world is required to embrace it. It’s usually nothing worth fighting against as the company tends to make movies worth adoring but I always feel bad for those that have an opinion otherwise. These critics are destined to be shunned and lampooned for having a conflicting opinion and will forever be remembered as “the guy that just doesn’t get it”. I’m not setting you up for a negative review from me but I’m just cautiously putting out there - let’s maybe not get so carried away.
Pixar’s latest, Toy Story 3, a sequel and closer to the series that launched the company in 1995 is gripping, emotional and heartwarming, but not the whole time. It isn’t exactly the best movie ever. It’s not even the best Pixar movie. It’s not even the best Toy Story movie. At the time of its release you could argue that it may have been the best movie of the summer but that says more about the season’s failing than it does the film’s success. Still… It’s a damn fine movie.
The problem with Toy Story 3 (I feel so blasphemous even typing the “p” word) is that it starts on a down note and has nowhere to go but down. We catch up with the gang in a flashback, remembering the good old days when Andy lead Woody and Buzz on grand adventures and daring rescues. Cut to the toys a decade later, trapped in a toy chest desperate for attention.
The toys are thrown away, donated, abused by toddlers, dismembered, reset to factory settings, thrown away again, nearly incinerated on and on until, as an audience, it becomes more and more difficult to imagine a light at the end of the chaos. In the other films there was always the objective of getting home to Andy. But without a home and with no new direction it all felt grimmer and at times a little hopeless. That’s a lot for little kids, let alone this old sonofabitch to deal with.
It of course leads towards a satisfying conclusion that I will describe spoiler free as “exactly what we all showed up for”. This film races along under the delusion it’s telling us this “adventures in daycare” storyline about the lifespan of toys and sure it’s plenty creative, clever and entertaining, featuring a handful of valued laughs, interesting new characters and what is destine to become one of cinemas all time classic prison break sequences, but this final scene is the real reason the film was made. The reconciliation of what will become of these toys we have grown to love over the years is all that matters and is satisfying in EVERY way possible.
It’s not until this point that we’re able to let go and truly enjoy these characters the way we always had in the past. As a result the most satisfying moments of this film, other than the big scene, include the closing credits where we see clips of the toys at play, being themselves, having fun, the way we remember them and the way we want to remember them forevermore. I wish that charm were so easily infused in the rest of the film’s conflict.
Toy Story 3 is a movie to be seen but it has little to say besides, “Remember how great it was before?” and “The End”. It says that really well though. Of course it’s never really over. Last month images were released of the animated Hawaiian Vacation short that will run in front of Cars 2 later this summer. It’s easy to turn on the cynical cannons and let loose on Pixar for resurrecting something they just buried but I could never be mad at Buzz and Woody. Tell us a tale of imagination and wonder. I’m all ears.
Completists and parents should feel no shame in adding this to their collection. No one should feel any shame actually. It’s a delightful, well mad adventure that is inspiring to behold and heart warming to revisit. I just wouldn’t expect to be beholding or revisiting it nearly as much as the other two entries.
This is a comic and review I wrote back when the film originally came out last June. I never finished the comic so it got shelved. With the Oscar’s now come and gone I realized that I had about a week before this thing was completely irrelevant.
Nearly 10 months after the film’s release, everything that can be said has already been said so even if my review is as much slam as it is praise, that is a controversy long since settled on the Internet. Posting this review was more about getting back in to the habit of writing them on a regular basis. About getting the feeling for them again. It’s time to get my feet wet with something I’d let slip away. So we’ll see how that goes. Wish me luck. Cheer me on. I’ll need it.
As for the comic, you gotta love a good font gag. If only because they’re so damn rare!
If you read this far, you’re a real champ. If you’’d like to read more, I do a lot of movie talking on my Twitter account and I talk a lot about comics and art on my new Tumblr Blog. Be sure to come by and join in on the fun.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V