Starring: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Jessica Biel, Quinton “Rampage� Jackson, Sharlto Copley, Patrick Wilson, Gerald McRaney, Brian Bloom

Directed by: Joe Carnahan

20th Century Fox

The Official Site of The A-Team

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Director Joe Carnahan’s last major release Smokin’ Aces is not without its flaws but one of its major success comes in how it balances out its cast. There are all manner of hitmen, lawmen and gangsters vying for attention in that movie and it’s able to spotlight them all without feeling stuffed, rushed or hurried. His latest, a big screen adaptation of the hit 80s series The A-team, has just as many players with just as many motivations fighting for screen time. They’ve just upgraded the battle from sniper rifles to tanks.

What’s interesting about the characters in this film, even the villains, is that they’re all government employees. Black Ops, CIA, Army intelligence, Army Rangers all fighting over illegal U.S. currency printing plates, being backstabbed over the plates or set-up for the theft of the plates. We’ve seen it a few times over the past couple years but The A-Team is just the latest film to say something about the absurdity of government in-fighting.

At the bottom of the pile is The A-Team, a group of four Rangers that take the fall for the missing plates and the death of a superior officer, (Minor spoiler: the superior in question is Major Dad’s Gerald McRaney who toughed it out in the military long enough to become “General Dad�!) Now they are on the run, desperate to clear their names and punish those responsible.

What’s interesting about the characters in this film, even the villains, is that they’re all government employees. Black Ops, CIA, Army intelligence, Army Rangers all fighting over the plates, being backstabbed over the plates or set-up for the theft of the plates. We’ve seen it a few times over the past couple years but The A-Team is just the latest film to say something about the absurdity of government in-fighting.

The action is big and approaching absurdity at break neck speeds. The impossible is possible in this world and in doses it works well. This is a movie after all and we need to take “flying a tank� with a grain of salt. For the most part I was on board with Carnahan’s choices including an introduction scene where the camera rests on B.A.’s shoulder, never showing his face as he blasts through half a dozen guys, or a helicopter chase that has an old junker breaking the rules physics as if the Mexican border were actually located in space. I would though go as far as to say the last action sequence is a visual catastrophe with its incomprehensible close combat and master plan trying so hard to be clever that it becomes unclever. The action is serviceable but not legendary. I mean, whenever Scary Movie 7 comes out they’re not going to be parodying B.A.’s big window washing action scene.

For a story that prides itself on its plans, the plans themselves are surprisingly one note. Many of the plans are just variations on, “Let’s all come from different directions and hit them really hard. It’ll be awesome.� I kept thinking about the first Mission Impossible movie where the missions were diverse, intricate and clever. The A-Team sees knocking down a wall as a viable means of a clandestine prison escape.

The sequences themselves end up being long enough that you forget about the physics problems or, potentially more damaging, the fact that these characters are kind of as thin as the screen they’re being projected on.

Looking back at it we know next to nothing about the past of these Rangers on the run. B.A. loves a truck, at one point Face loved Jessica Biel (yeah, get in line), Hannibal loves when plans come together (like BIGTIME. It’s kind of creepy) and Murdock loves being bananas but there’s little else really told about who they are and where they come from.

It works in that what these people do is who they are. It doesn’t matter what their favorite movie is or whether or not their mommy loved them because they are married to the mission. All we need to know about them is in the details of the plan. It helps though that thin characters are cast with big personalities, ones well established in the TV series that sizzle just as well with the new cast. Each of them embrace the chaos, charm, and fool-pitying needed to make the team work and it more than makes up for what are otherwise underdeveloped.

To be fair, by films end we get wonderful arcs introducing us to staple character traits form the show like B.A.’s fear of flying and peaceful nature and Faceman’s willingness to risk the mission for a piece of ass. Most remarkably are the relationships on screen. They’re built better than any other piece of the film.

In the face of mediocrity The A-Team ultimately wins out. Largely because of what those big personalities bring to the table and the solid blend of action and humor throughout. There are many laughs to be had in this big crowd pleaser. We could analyze the issues and pick it apart all day but The A-Team delivers big where it counts and when it counts – a big laugh from genuine people will make you forget all manner if ridiculousness.

I think that The A-Team sadly continues the trend of mediocre movies this season but that it is largely entertaining. I just can’t see it as a classic. Will we really be looking back at this the same way that we look back at something like Lethal Weapon or Die Hard? Perhaps it’s an unfair comparison but if you’re not trying to make an instant classic than why bother?

While I had more bad than good to say about this movie I could see myself really enjoying it in repeat viewings. Great characters are like the spoon full of sugar making the so-so action go down. Is a Mary Poppins analogy to girly a reference to make when discussing a movie about dude blowing each other up?

I really had no problem with the ridiculousness of the action in The A-Team. The Tank scene for instance totally makes sense to me. If I had the wherewithal and balls I’d do the exact same thing and I appreciate a movie that is willing to push the boundaries in an industry where we have theoretically seen it all before.

The exchange in the comic sums up a piece of what I’d hoped to accomplish with Joe Loves Crappy Movies originally. Maybe not so much bullying people into liking bad movies but encouraging them to have an open mind. For the record, the guy in the comic Phil (who writes the other comics I work on Another Video Game Webcomic and Matriculated) enjoyed The A-Team more than this depiction may have you believe.

Thanks for stopping by. For more on my thoughts on the movies of the year so far like Iron Man 2, Robin Hood, and Sex in the City 2 – Desert Crotch be sure to listen to The Crappy Movies Podcast which has been updating much more frequently than this comic. John and I will be doing a show tonight talking about Shrek 4 which I finally got around to today. It was Shrek-tastic