Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
This Is It
Starring: Michael Jackson
Directed by: Kenny Ortega
Sony Pictures
The Official Site of This is It
Discuss This is It on the boards!
This Is It opens with a pack of start struck dancers stuttering through tears about their love and respect for a man that has inspired them for their entire lives. They’re shaken and overwhelmed not at his untimely death (which would happen months later and reduce an epic farewell concert into a humble behind-the-scenes documentary) but at the opportunity to meet, dance for and potential dance with the King of Pop in his grand finale.
That’s the kind of effect that Michael Jackson’s music and dancing had on people and you can only imagine what those inspired young kids were overwhelmed with once Jackson actually passed away. The film is wise not to dwell on his death letting instead his music and passion speak for itself. So much more can be said with a lyric and a spin than grim archival news coverage.
“This Is It” was intended to be Michael’s last tour. The final curtain call on a legendary career. His way of saying goodbye to the fans that he loved so much. The film, made up of rehearsal footage, documents the making of a show in which Michael rented out the Staples Center and brought in world-class talent to showcase his world-class catalog. All your favorite Jackson classics. One hit after another.
While the music is the featured item there is enough “making of” footage - including dancer casting, wardrobe designs, pyrotechnics testing (which is always fun) and pre-concert filming of footage to be used in a 3-D “Thriller” segment (that you just know would have been epic) - to make this more than just a 90-minute music video. But only just.
This Is It is even good enough to include the complications on set. Michael goes on at length about equipment feeling like someone jamming their fist into his ear. But he does so with, “L. O. V. E. Love.” That’s during a segment of Jackson 5 music, which I couldn’t help but toe-tap my way through. Even during the spots that Michael missed the lyrics on. Completely forgivable considering the ear fisting going on up there.
The most valuable footage is the kind that gives us a better idea of how Michael worked as an entertainer. With his involvement in every aspect it’s easy to misinterpret his enthusiasm as a case of “full blown control freak” but I’m sure if you asked any of the people involved they would speak not of his demands but of his passion. For the music, for the dance, of his need to put on an amazing show – Jackson was beyond dedicated.
This is why dancers, musicians… hell even the guy sweeping up in the back of the auditorium, are all in awe of Michael and eager to learn something from him. I’m not sure that Michael could have helped the janitor make the floor any cleaner but he could have at least taught him how to move that broom with a little style.
It becomes clear quickly that Michael is moving at half speed, not wanting to wreck his voice or legs before show time. He sounds great and effortlessly kick-spins through complex choreography keeping up fine with the eager young talent around him… but I couldn’t help but get the feeling that we were a stadium full of people short of him unleashing some sort of monstrous maneuver to properly blow our minds. Let’s be honest with ourselves though - “Billy Jean” even at half speed is still ten times better than pretty much anything you’re going to hear on the radio these days.
Even in “practice mode” The music is as powerful as ever and the peek behind the curtain is an invaluable perspective of a legend for all times. It may not be the grandest way to remember a guy that made us afraid of Pepsi and invented new ways to walk backwards but this is not just a money grab. This is what a lot of people needed to properly say goodbye.
Jackson passed a week before the first full dress rehearsal in London so we never get to see This Is It as intended but some numbers come closer than others. “Thriller” and “Smooth Criminal” have entire vignettes pre-filmed and featured in the doc but there are other noticeably bare.
This Is It was a surprise hit last fall pulling in over 70 million domestically and nearly 260 million worldwide. Not bad for footage intended for a private collection. This didn't shock me so much. Michael was beloved and people wanted to say goodbye.
I am slightly surprised that it's getting as much attention on DVD. It's been the number one seller for the past couple weeks at Amazon.com even though it only hit shelves this past Tuesday. Amazon usually runs some great deals but people have been snatching this up at full price and I guess I'm shocked because there's a huge difference between checking something out in theaters and paying to own if. Especially with something like this that will have an incredibly low replay value at home. How many of these disks will be collecting dust as opposed to honoring the Man featured in them?
So yeah, it's a pass for me on DVD. I think I would get more play out of a collection of Jackson’s classic music videos. Let's see the icon iconically, not moving at half speed.
No part of me can dance but at some point or anther I became obsessed with the idea if dance offs and dance battles. Not in a "You Got Served" kind of way but more in a "this is the most ridiculous way to resolve anything" sort of way. It's like having a custody hearing come down to an arm wrestling competition. It's a little over the top.
Dancers are impressive. I'll watch someone like Jackson or the kids on So You Think You Can Dance and just be amazed by what they can do. I'm not so much a connoisseur of the classical methods as much as I am an admirer of the impossible. These people are defying gravity and moving their bodies at speeds and angles that shouldn't be achievable.
There are no lofty aspirations to someday do these things myself, I’m happy to be a spectator, but you have to admire someone with the audacity to prove a point through dance. It's the modern form of debate. Now clear the floor while my crew and I argue nature over nurture.
And yes... The Over the Top line was completely intentional.
Check out the latest Crappy movies Podcast for spoiler talk on last weeks release of Legion and be sure to tune in this weekend when we’ll argue over the return of Mel Gibson in Edge of Darkness. Thanks for swinging by.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V