Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Pixar vs. Dreamworks Round 1
The official site of Dreamworks Animation
The official site of Pixar Studios
Discuss Pixar vs. Dreamworks on the boards
This cartoon making light about the unofficial war between Pixar and Dreamworks popped up on line last week and quickly started making the rounds.
I think I saw it first on twitter courtesy of Dave Chensky and then on news blogs that I frequent. When it finally showed up on my own message boards I thought that maybe I should come up with a comic to address it.
You can trace the comics origins back to Poe News and kudos to them for really capturing the feelings of a lot of frustrated animation fans. I think most people are actually responding to the generic expression of one raised eyebrow with a crooked grin that seems to be plastered on the face of every single character that Dremaworks creates, but there’s definitely something to the sentiment of how empty their plots and characters are. At least in comparison to Pixar
So which house is better? Ask 9 out of 10 people and they won’t blink before shouting “Pixar”. If we’re being honest – it’s not even a contest. Pixar consistently is able to match picture perfect animation with the heart and emotion that your average cartoon company takes for granted. Dreamworks has certainly been pushing the envelope in recent years but the “believe in yourself” message recycled between Kung Fu Panda and Monsters vs. Aliens is generic fluff compared to what Pixar has been able to do with plastic toys and tropical fish.
Here’s the thing about all that though: Those 9 out of 10 people are all adults, mostly parents dragged by their children to suffer through the bad and share the experience of the good. If you ask kids which one they prefer, Pixar or Dreamworks, they won’t have any idea what you’re talking about. They just don’t care. They’re just happy to have something colorful and light to distract them for the afternoon. Not to imply that kids are too stupid to get it, the better the movie the more of an impact it’ll have on them, but they’re not going to let a production company stop them from seeing whatever new animated feature is in theaters this week. When they do, then you might as well pierce their ears and tell them there’s no Santa because their childhood is officially over.
I’ve been really impressed with the past few Dreamworks films but they still have a long hard road ahead of them before they’ll really be in the same league as Pixar. It’ll have to been an odd combination of a Dreamworks success and a Pixar failure happening at the same time before people take the competition seriously. Too bad Up looks awesome.
Fast and Furious scored HUGE this weekend taking in an estimated 72.5 million and setting a new record for top April début. (Take a look at the full weekend standings.) It looks to hold the number one spot for at least another week as the only new competition is the R-rated Observe and Report and the Dragonball Z adaptation which looks absolutely ridiculous. observe and Report looks decent but with its dark tone and R-rating it’ll have a tough time taking down Fast and Furious.
I was somewhat disappointed with the movie but I’m very excited that it’s doing well. Success breeds more chances to make a better movie or at least more chances to see cars smash into each other and that ain’t a bad thing.
My favorite release of the weekend, Adventureland, came in at a disappointing sixth place with just over 6 million dollars. It was on significantly less screens but it deserves much more attention then it’s getting. As does Sugar which should be expanding in the coming weeks. We’re getting to a point where there’s a lot of good stuff out there. 2009 is finally shaping up.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
