Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Guest Strip – The Crooked Gremlins
Discuss Nic Cage’s hair on the boards
Today’s comic is a guest strip from Carter and Paul, the creative minds behind a webcomic called The Crooked Gremlins. Gremlins is about a pack of underground troublemakers given the mission to break all our stuff. Basically it’s adorable green monsters messing with you, which I find delightful. I love the clean design of Paul’s artwork and the sharp characters of Carter’s writing that have made this a really strong strip in a reasonably short period of time.
Carter shot me an e-mail about a month ago and asked if I’d be up for letting them do a guest comic and at first I wasn’t really sure what to say. I never really put out calls for guest strips (except back during my honeymoon) not that I have anything against them. I guess I’m just used to being asked to do them rather than receive them (also something I’m not opposed to doing as long as I’m not slammed). After a quick look at their site I realized that my little comic would be in good hands with these two talents and I decided to accept their invitation.
What they delivered up looks awesome and is very much in the vein of the humor I strive for at JLCM. Self-deprecating, sexual, Nic Cage… those are all JLCM standards that Carter and Paul nailed. If I’m being honest… I don’t really remember a shower scene in Next but just to be sure I’ll be watching it four times tomorrow. Hopefully Cage’s newest movie The Knowing, which comes out this Friday, will have more memorable shower scenes.
I’m very grateful for the guest comic at this time because it’s giving me a free day to work on the AVW Resident Evil 5 strip as well as build up a little buffer for JLCM. As I’m writing this, very late on a Wednesday night, I’ve got two strips ready to run and four more nearly done. I’m kind of excited at the prospect of building up some serious material and keeping updates frequent and regular. So thanks to The Crooked Gremlins guys for keeping me regular in a non toilet way. Let me know when I can return the favor. Not this week though. I’m swamped – seriously. ☺
I’m really excited about the strips lined up for the next few days. I’ve got a couple of running jokes that I hope work as well on the computer as they do in my head. Sometimes it’s not always a successful translation. We’ll see how it goes.
There’s going to be a couple of big announcements in these coming days as well including information on how you can get your hands of the first JLCM collection as well as a certain T-shirt. More on that on Monday but many more comics between now and then.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
