Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Wolverine Jr.
Discuss Wolverine on the boards!
Is it too early to start talking about Wolverine: Origins? The media machine is in full force. Even as Watchmen descends upon us Fox is insistent that we’re aware of their superhero that’s waiting for us just around the corner. And with the story of Wolverine’s origin, adapted from the Paul Jenkins limited series of the same name, there’s certain to be some interest.
The idea of Origins is a good one. It’s a great way for this franchise to carry on without making a 4th X-men film outright. As much as I’d like to see that franchise thrive, after The Last Stand it needs time to regroup. Besides, they could play out the Origins angle for years spotlighting different characters with each outing. If the numbers for Wolverine’s opening weekend are big, you can expect a few announcements quickly. Certainly plans to move forward with the long rumored Magneto: Origins but also things like Deadpool and Gambit spin-off films not to mention a Wolverine sequel.
Would Jackman be so willing to come back though? Who knows but we should be counting our blessings that a guy who’s become a pretty significant movie star is willing to come back and play in our neck of the woods as often as he has. Granted, Wolverine did launch his career here in America so perhaps he feels like he owes the fans, or the character that little bit of respect, but I’d like to think he’s having as much fun playing the part as we are watching him in it.
A few weeks ago the big media push began. The Three clips bellow were originally unveiled over the course of three days during Fox’s prime time line-up (I believe during Family Guy, House and American Idol). They of course all popped up online the following mornings but in releasing them separately I had a bad reaction to them. Mainly because they lead off with little Wolverine and gave me 24 hours to speculate on nothing else. These first two teasers, titled “Outcasts” and “Brothers”, showed much too much of the younger years of wolverine for my taste. I began to fear that a large portion of the movie would focus on Logan’s earliest years and found myself hoping these were just really intense flashbacks sandwiched between Hugh Jackman swearing, flexing and hurling himself at helicopters.
It was until the release of the strongest of the three teasers, “Legends”, which featured not so much the story as the parade of cameos that we’ll be treated to in the film, that I actually got excited about what was to come. Part of me is cautious, not wanting stuff like this to be spoiled before actually seeing the film but I’m as eager as anyone to see Gambit toss a deck of kinetically charged cards or see Deadpool unleash a couple of one-liners or watch The Blob punch a tank. All difficult things to turn away from.
Looking back it’s clear that it’s “Outcasts” and “Brothers” I should be getting excited about. That’s where the heart of the story lies. And there’s something to be said for a full movie about Wolverine wondering where he came from. I just find him more interesting when he’s being the-best-there-is-at-what-he-does not the-scared-little-kid-with-daddy-issues.
The final Wolverine: Origins trailer hit this week (probably running before Watchmen!) and it’s essentially a mash-up of the three teasers with a few new reveals that have gotten me pretty excited about the film. It’s not going to be epic but it’s not going to be Elektra either.
Yeah, so… just a quick not about Smallville. I have friends that still watch it even though they freely admit how terrible it is. To those that watch it but hate it and those that watch it and love it – what’s the deal? Why is this show still on the air? Let me know why it is that you keep tuning in week to week.
Thanks for reading guys. I’ll be back before you know it with a Watchmen review.
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
