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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Religulous

Starring: Bill Maher

Directed by: Larry Charles

Lionsgate Films

The Official Site of Religulous

Discuss Religulous on the boards!

I’ve got as much good to say about this movie as its host Bill Maher does about organized religion. In Riligulous, his documentary film where he interviews religious figures across the planet, questions the validity of their beliefs and spreads his own message of doubt, Maher tries to shed some light on the hypocrisies and inconsistencies of faith. All at the same time encouraging us to questions of ourselves. There’s nothing wrong with not being certain and encouraging others to look upon themselves with an objective eye, but is it possible to do so without making fun of them? I would have settled for making it through the movie without a Brokeback Mountain reference. We’re seriously still doing that?

Maher goes in with intentions that are pure. Those to ask the obvious questions we all think when someone of faith discusses their religion. Even if he never intended to come off disrespectfully, 2 minutes into every conversation his inquisitive eyes are joined by a smirk across his lips and a finger on the edit button ready to drop in some random movie clip, musical cue or closed captioned commentary to undercut whichever "esteemed figure of the church" is on screen at the time.

That’s kind of what we expected right? Plus it’s sort of a necessity. The first rule in the movie business is that a movie has to be entertaining. It can still be informative but you have to spoon-feed it to us with a big pile of sugar to help the medicine go down. You can disagree with me but the best documentaries are the ones that can teach you something with a smile on your face. The greatest documentaries can achieve the same thing while still being objective.

How do you have a serious conversation about faith and introduce entertainment without subjecting the interviewees to Daily Show editing tricks and blatant disregard to everything they believe in? I was hoping Maher had found some answers but if he did he chose to hide it from the screen like it was printed on an image of Muhammad.

Had their approach been either clever or informative I think I would have been able to embrace the movie but Maher and director Larry Charles seem content that the approach of “asking simple questions and people of faith not being able to respond coherently” is good enough. It’s all the entertainment we need. I guess the jokes on me because I don’t get it. Why is that funny? I mean beyond the first 3 or 4 times they do it.

Now, for the record, I am a believer so I may be excluded from getting it. I don't think so though. I have some crazy beliefs but I'll be the first to admit how crazy they are and I'm willing to sit down and have an intelligent conversation about that. I'm not sure Maher is even though he’s clearly more educated on the subject and more intelligent in general than I am so it would be easy work for him.

Everyone he interviews is ridiculed in one way or another. Victims of over-editing and being foolish enough to believing in something. The real problem is that clearly some of them are intelligent individuals. It's possible to have faith and be smart but the movie seems to have as much trouble believing that as it does "talking snakes", a biblical metaphor that comes up a little too often here.

I wonder if they would have pulled the same tricks if they’d had the chance to interview the Pope or Billy Graham or any religious leader of any significance. I’m sure it’s not for a lack of trying, the smartest men in the world are so because they can smell a booby-trap a mile away, but the fact that the interviews they do get are with a guy named Jesus that thinks he’s the second coming, a guy that portrays Jesus in a Christian-themed amusement park, and a crazy (though admittedly charming) old priest outside the Vatican (who I’m guessing is looking for a job now) doesn’t give the film much credibility. It makes their search for answers as valid as Morgan Spurlock’s search for Osama.

Spurlocks search for the cave-dwelling mad man versus Maher trying to discover the truth behind religion is arguably a more realistic one. It’s certainly one more likely to succeed. I don’t think either film really expected to find answers or terrorists at the end of their voyage but one of them managed to be entertaining in the process and it wasn’t the one that made people that have found peace in life look like idiots.

Rating: 3 out of 10 - This is such a universal and profoundly interesting subject matter, it seems like it would be easy to put together a documentary even somewhat entertaining, whether you're taking it seriously or not. Religulous does not get the job done.

I don’t want to get too preachy but if someone can find something to believe in, something to make life easier and they’re not hurting you in the process, then what’s the big deal? Let them act a little silly. Let them be happy. Because, even though their predictions of life after death or how many virgins will be waiting on the other side may make no sense, they’re happy, and that’s more than most of us can honestly say.

Not a chance, but I’m really not a documentary type of guy either. To all of you that fell in love with An Inconvenient Truth and ended up showing further support by buying it on DVD… how many times have you watched it? And lending it to a friend doesn’t count. I mean it counts in that you’re helping the message reach new audiences and that’s great and all but it doesn’t mean you watched it again. I can’t imagine I’d watch Religulous again, even if it were funny.

Yeo and I have never had this conversation per se, but it’s an empty threat I joke about springing on her from time to time. I would never do it of course; in fact technically it wouldn’t work at all. As I understand it, in the Catholic Church at least one of the parents has to be Confirmed to baptize the child. In my rebellious youth I decided to not get Confirmed until I was willing to take the commitment seriously.

I grew up going to Catholic school and it seemed like everyone was along for the ride.. In 8th grade you have your Conformation. That’s just what you did. It’s such a huge step though and I felt like it was being taken so lightly. I wanted to know God before I went that far.

JC and I have since made our peace. I think so anyway. I could die tomorrow and meet him in the clouds and he’ll be all like, “You screwed up douche ball!” and down I’ll tumble into hell. The real question though is, “do I really want to spend eternity with a guy that would cast me away just because I didn’t go through with some routine ceremony?” Ah well, at least in Hell I’ll have my Buddhist bride and unbaptized children to keep me company.

Notorious - So what scares me about Notorious? That’s easy: Jamal Woolard, the young man playing hooligan turned rap sensation Biggie Smalls. With biographies it’s always a weird situation. Did this actor get the part because they’re the best person for the role or because they’re a really good look-a-like? In a lot of situations it’s not too much of a big deal, really the biggest issue you’ll encounter is, “Sorry you can’t play Abe Lincoln. He wasn’t black.” (Though that would throw a whole new spin on the story, am I right?) With Biggie, not just anyone is going to be able to play the part. Cuba Gooding might have REALLY wanted it but is he willing to gain 400 pounds to look the part? This isn’t like DeNiro in Raging Bull it’s like Eddie Murphy in The Nutty Professor, and somehow that feels less authentic.

The subject matter is great and the soundtrack is bound to be insanely awesome, but can a rookie fill the shoes of a ledged? This teaser is inconclusive but let’s hope for the best.

So, Beverly Hills Chiuaua is number 1 at the box office for a second week and has wiggled its way across the 50 million dollar mark. I’m not too surprised but I’d like to think that something like Body of Lies or even Quarantine could give it a run for its money. If this trend keeps up I might actually have to go and see it. Don’t put me in that kind of situation people.

Looking across the top 20 movies out right now it’s kind of a wash of films doing average to bellow average (except for The Dark Knight which refuses to die). None of the films have crossed the 100 million dollar mark and seem o be fading out of the top 10 within a week. It’s a sign of the times I suppose.

Tonight on the Triple Feature we’ll be talking about at least one of the new releases as well as the perfect luxury movie experience and hopefully a little chat about what’s up on deck. Max Payne and W both come out next week and look like fun for completely different reasons, but the movie to see next weekend is one I caught a sneak preview of yesterday - Sex Drive. Generic title, generic looking trailer but still really fun. They don’t nail the jokes as hard as they could but the characters are pitch perfect. Definitely worth seeing.

That’s all for now, thanks for reading!

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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V