Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
The Obvious Question
This comic felt very natural after yesterday’s and considering that last week this was going on an off hand comment was inevitable. I’m not trying to say anything specific about the characters but it was no accident that they were released in this order. It seemed like the best progression of awkwardness.
I’d actually ha a third joke in mind for the “sophisticated boner” mini-story (I guess you would call it), but that comic is not done and I can’t decide if it’s funny enough to do at SPX this weekend. If you’re coming to the show stop by and I’ll tell you the joke and you tell me if you think it’s worth doing or not.
It seems wrong to focus so much energy though on a movie that doesn’t deserve one comic let alone three, especially when there are no strips for movies that actually deserve it like Indy 4 or Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I’ll admit though that at this point I’m a slave to the joke. I go wherever they take me, and try as I may I could not come up with a funny Jason Segel wiener joke. I’ll give it some more thought though.
In case you missed my subtle plug, Phil, Irv and I will all be at SPX this coming weekend. I’m a little weary from last week’s convention but I’m excited to head back to Maryland for more. It’s always a good crowd and a good time. Swing by the table, you can help me practice my social skill while I draw you a sketch of Picard holding Dane Cook’s head (an actual request from last week that actually turned out kind of neat.)
Before I leave for Maryland then I wanted to launch another art auction. This time around it’s two original images featuring Alice and Fletcher from The Coffee Achievers, a series spun out of Mitch Clem’s Nothing Nice To Say. Mitch and I worked on this series a little ways back and I still have folks that come up to me and comment about it. The one thing I always say is that I miss it and I would love to work on another arc. It is of course up to Mitch though. They were a big part of my life for a while and I miss those characters and those adventures.
Last month someone commissioned me to do a piece of Blake and the itch came back. I had to scratch it by doing these two pieces. I hope you guys approve.
Alice - Alice from the Coffee Achievers. Archival ink and pencil on 9x12" charcoal paper. Will ship Priority mail through the US Post Office.
Click this link or on the thumbnail to go to the eBay page and click this link to see a larger preview of the image.
Fletcher - Fletcher from the Coffee Achievers. Archival ink and pencil on 9x12" charcoal paper. Will ship Priority mail through the US Post Office.
Click this link or on the thumbnail to go to the eBay page and click this link to see a larger preview of the image.
That’s it for now other than to say, thanks for reading!
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
