Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
The Rocker
Starring: Rainn Wilson, Christina Applegate, Teddy Geiger, Josh Gad, Emma Stone, Jeff Garlin, Jane Lynch, Jason Sudeikis, Will Arnett, Howard Hesseman, Fred Armisen, Bradley Cooper, Lonny Ross
Directed by: Peter Cattaneo
Lucas Films
The Official Site of The Rocker
Discuss The Rocker on the boards!
Don’t feel like reading the long review - catch the Quick Look at Flixster!
The Rocker is exactly what you expect it to be. It's a monument to predictability. It follows the rules of movie storytelling that we've all, predictably, become comfortable with. The story of a would-be rock god who gets kicked out of the band on the eve of mega-stardom, and then finds new life 20 years later with a younger group of kids and a mild case of Internet celebrity, is certainly not without its laughs. Rainn Wilson (TVs The Office) as the 20-years-too-late drummer earns some solid laughs with his pre-show rituals, mid-drumming face contortions that would make even John Mayer cringe, and unhealthy passion for rock, even if the rumors that he's just ripping off Jack Black are arguably true.
But… then something happens. The movie changes. The Rocker doesn't become any less predictable but the laughs get stronger and characters more distinct. Before you know it you're invested in the sweet predictability of an adventure that is all of a sudden worth the price of admission.
Like I said, it's still, predictable so it's still following the rules we've gotten used to. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing but credit has to go somewhere for the positive flip and it's certainly not in the movie's unexpected plot developments. Some of it clearly has to go to Wilson who may not be a big enough star to launch a movie (The Rocker is tanking hard unable to find an audience) but he's certainly good enough to carry it. His comparisons with Black have more to do with the theme of the movie than the choices he makes as a performer. Pudgey, passionate lords of metal will always have someone's shadow to crawl out from under. What's important is that in The Rocker Wilson finds his own voice and holds his own fine.
At the same time he's helped out immensely by his supporting cast who do some of the heavy lifting so he can act the fool. Christina Applegate (who I had no idea she was going to be in this movie) turns up as one of the underage band mate's mother and helps to ground the movie quite a bit. We don't have to buy her as a love interest for Wilson but we do have to buy her as someone his adult side can connect to, and that totally works.
The three other members of the band including pop star Teddy Geiger (who wrote the catchy tunes featured throughout) aren't as well rounded as they should be, but just enough to make you care and make the jokes work. A better movie would have pushed their stories a little harder but you get what you need and their daddy issues and budding libidos don't slow the movie down. It's a fair trade for the kind of movie this is.
For my money, the plum performance in the film comes from Jason Sudeikis who plays the bands sleazy manager. He's got a few lines featured in the trailer that aren't exactly stellar, even though "You're gonna have more ladies than Jay-Z has Mercedes" pretty much sums him up to a T. I can't explain it. Even though he's the films ever-present villain it's hard not to love him a little when, after the band finally finds their sound in the studio, he says, "John Lennon rolled over in his grave to hind the boner you just gave him."
The Rocker has a slow burn but in my mind recovers from a sloppy intro better than any other movie out this year. Clearly from the sluggish box office it's not going to be for everybody but where most movies lose their steam, The Rocker finds new energy and powers on to a satisfying (and predictable) finish.
Rating: 7 out of 10 - As of Tuesday morning, 6 days since the movie's release, The Rocker hasn't even crossed the 4 million dollar mark. It may make its low budget back on DVD, but it's officially a bomb at the Cineplex.
I like The Rocker and when you like a movie you want it to find its audience. You want people to like it as much as you do, but that just isn't in the cards for some films. I feel like The Rocker is the kind of movie that Comedy Central will snatch up on the cheap and then play to death on Sunday afternoons all next summer. Either It'll find its audience there, or it'll have people running to TNT to catch another Law and Order mini-marathon. Either way…
You know what? – Sure. Though the movie took its sweet time wining me over I couldn’t help but leave with a smile on my face and a song in my heart. I think the sluggish opening will play better on home video and I’ll be able to enjoy the story even more. Well done underrated box office comedy flop!
There’s a point in life where you have to be willing to admit that your chances of rocking are over. When you’re young anything seems possible. “I’ll learn how to play the guitar eventually. Right now I just want to appreciate the music.” (Now read that again with the douchiest voice you can imagine.)
I’ve accepted that I’m too old to rock out, and no it’s not because I played the tuba (true – 4 years of torturous marching band under my belt.) or that I have a Gin Blossoms CD in my car (also true. We all have guilty pleasures, and say what you want – “Found Out About You” is STILL an awesome song.) it’s really just because I chose a different path in life. I could always go back and learn to properly play the guitar but I’d be taking time away from the comics and my family so, would it really be worth it? It’s not like I’m going to be a rock star or impress that girl in my homeroom class with my acoustic rendition of “Under the Bridge”.
Maybe someday when I’m old I’ll dazzle the grandkids with some “classics” form the mid-90s. Either way, it’s fun to dream.
For the record, I’m not half bad at Rock Band and Guitar Hero. I play on hard and would say I average somewhere in the low 90%. I’m certainly not the best in my circle of friends, but of all of us I’m definitely the most active on guitar. Of all of us I’m “most likely to accidentally donkey kick the person standing behind him, mid guitar solo.” It’s called “Rock Band” not “Stand Still and Push Buttons Band”.
Today's vote incentive features me rocking out in one of my very few safety zones these days. I wish there were more places where it was socially acceptable to shout crappy 90's alternative rock.
Eagle Eye Yoyu know what, Eagle Eye… I'm solid. You're going to be awesome. You're going to make me love Shia no matter how many fingers he has. Now enough with being a trailer at every damn movie I go to. Just come out so I can love you.
Our friends at HoboTrashcan.com recently went through a site relaunch but it's still peppered with a ton of my art work. Head on over and have a look around at all the new features, and take part in the Pimp a Hobo promotion they have going on. The prize is a 2003 Pizza Hut promotional DVD of Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. That's ridiculously awesome.
Another friend Brandon J. Carr has started a new site containing his essays and illustrations. I love the way his work has matured. Have a look at his latest work at Thesestoriesaretrue.com
Last news of the day… we totally lost the Comic Book Challenge, which is ok, because we're thrilled at the response we got from you guys and are excited about advancing with Biteworld anyway. We're so grateful for everything you guys did and really want to put together something special for you. Congrats to the top 3, best of luck!
Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
