Starring: Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Eric Bana, Jim Sturgess, Kristin Scott Thomas, Ana Torrent

Directed by: Justin Chadwick

Sony Pictures

The Official Site of The Other Boleyn Girl

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Apparently my poor high school education goes far beyond the random misspellings and punctuation errors that haunt my reviews, because after watching The Other Boleyn Girl, a story of two sisters and their time as the mistress of King Henry VIII, it seems that there’s a lot more to Anne Boleyn then who she was married to and how she died. (Not that I even got those completely right. Remember when “beheaded� implied “guillotine�? Scroll down to the About the Comic section bellow for more.) However, either the fine public school system of Collingswood, New Jersey chose to gloss over the juicier, cringe-inducing details of England’s most famous divorce or they did cover it and I’ve blocked out all or most of 8th grade Social Studies.

I’ll concede that it’s most likely a little bit of both, but one would think you’d remember the twisted series of cock-teasing, manipulation and strange bed fellows that led to the decapitation of Anne Boleyn. Oh, did I just spoil something for you? Then you’re 8th grade education sucked too.

The truth is – I didn’t even know that Anne Boleyn had a sister at all, let alone one that was competing with her to become the King’s top mistress. That is however what the movie chooses to focus on creating a tense rivalry between the two. As much as I enjoyed watching two of Hollywood’s most appealing young ladies succumb to their seductive sides, the fact that the movie boils down to two girls women fighting over a man is slightly uncomfortable. What kind of example is that to set for the young ladies across the world that look up to them? Does a castle and a puffy dress suddenly make it ok to degrade yourself?

Of course, it was just the age they lived in. Anne and Mary grew up in a time and place where the best asset women had to offer was not their skills but their virtue. Women in general were bartered for and traded like cattle, marrying rarely for love and more often for social, political or financial standing. Marriage was a business or an opportunity and that is very much represented in The Other Boleyn Girl. It’s kind of weird considering how confident and sure Anne is portrayed. Still however strong she comes off in the film, it’s clear that from start to finish she is using her feminine wilds to get what she wants.

As “old fashion� as the story may be, strong performances make you remember how powerful a woman can be even in a society that suppresses them. Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson > star as Anne and Mary respectively, playing the parts differently but with the same results. Portman is fierce and vicious in her manipulation and ambition whereas Johansson is submissive and demur, not fighting for attention but drawing it anyway as the fairer of the two characters. Both are sexy and irresistible for completely different reasons and it’s very easy to see why King Henry had so much trouble picking one straight away.

With the king, played by Eric Bana, it comes down to this – he wants what he cannot have. When Anne is offered to him he opts for Mary, the married sister not vying for his affections. When Mary becomes ill and Anne returns into the King’s life she wants nothing to do with him. She refuses his gifts and mercilessly teases him as an object he will never obtained. This will not stand and he must have her.

From a son to a mistress to an annulment, the King is an impatient creature of need that will eventually tear his country apart over lust. Men have been going this far for a little tail for thousands of years and it is an excellent performance to watch Bana balance through.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the supporting cast. Kristin Scott Thomas as Anne and Mary’s mother and Ana Torrent as the King’s first wife Katherine of Aragon have some marvellous moments between them. They demonstrate a rare combination of confidence and restraint, knowing their place in the world but not being so happy about it. In this movie where women are depicted as property, you can see the sparks of the roaring fire of feminism building in the eyes of these “kept� women.

Even though basic history classes should have ensured there were no surprises in the film’s story, I’m happy to say there were a couple of nice unexpected stuff. Which again, more than likely means that I’m a complete moron. If anything though, The Other Boleyn Girl has offered me a unique opportunity to correct that mistake made many years ago. After seeing the movie and wikepedia-ing the truth in a fog of disbelief of what I saw and had not previously known, I’ve come to a greater understanding of what actually happened with these characters. Even if I can not apply this to my everyday life I should, at the very least, be well prepared for The Tudors once that wiggles its way up my Netflix list. Now if only someone would make a movie about basic grammar that I could review.

Rating: 6 out of 10 - After watching the trailer earlier this year I lovingly began calling The Other Boleyn Girl “Top Slut� because of the conflict to be the best mistress. For that reason I would say that The Other Boleyn Girl may not be the best “example setting� movie of the year for impressionable young ladies, but it is certainly well done. Between the English countryside the lush costuming and the compelling performances, it’s easy to get sucked in.

While I wouldn’t recommend it to the easily influenced youth I would say that die-hard romantics, suckers for period pieces and 8th graders really trying to sell that biography assignment will find a lot to love here.

Not for me, but certainly for that assortment of viewers I recommend it to above. In terms of extra features, it might be nice to see something focusing on the costuming, the adaptation of the book by Phillippa Gregory and even something on how the movie lines up with the documented facts, but none of that is enough for me to want to buy it. While I’m the occasional sucker for a good romance, it most often will feature some enthused 80’s pop song which is sorely missing from The Other Boleyn Girl. At no time during the film is Anne ever “Walking on the Sunshine�.

This is really my fault for doing the comic before seeing the movie. I had always known that Anne Boleyn was beheaded but for some reason I’d always just assumed that it was at the end of a guillotine. Apparently though, that’s the sort of fancy crowd pleasing death you might find in France, but the British prefer the more no-nonsense, broad sword to the face approach.

I’d considered changing the last panel but still really enjoyed the punch it gave the end of the comic. I hope you guys can forgive me. One thing I had to change was the text in the first panel. Without thinking I was calling the contest “The United Kingdom’s Next Top Slut�, but as soon as I saved it I knew it was wrong and changed it to “Great Britain�, which is also apparently wrong. Those are easy changes to make though.

This is something new, but I’m going to start recommending every week a new release worth checking out. Of the DVDs that came out this week the stand out for me has got to be Sean Penn’s Into the Wild, the story of a young man looking for adventure on the open road. This story, based on the book by Jon Krakauer chronicles the life and death of Christopher McCandless as he runs from his oppressive past into an uncertain future. Through meeting new friends (portrayed by Vince Vaughn, Catherine Keener, Kristen Stewart and Oscar nominee Hal Holbrook) along the way and throwing himself into new experiences and challenges, Christopher sees the world through new eye en route to his perfectly depicted bittersweet finale.

This movie is perfect for anyone that’s ever had an itching in their shoes to hit the road, to just hop in the car and go wherever the road may take them. I can’t include myself in that. I’ve done my fair share of road trips, but always with purpose. Always with a destination. I can’t honestly say that I’ve wandered, never further than 30 miles form home anyway, but even still, the film is instantly accessible and it feels very natural to commit to Christopher’s adventure.

For me the connection with Into the Wild came in the character’s relationship with his father. Christopher wasn’t just seeking new adventures but was also running away from a past he disagreed with. We’ve all rebelled at some point, even if not to such extremes. This section of the film is done brilliantly emphasizing both the independence of Christopher and the flawed but unwavering love of his parents.

Into the Wild made my top ten list for the year in part because of its strong subject matter and in part for the wonderful performances including its star Emile Hirsch who you may not know now, but you should by next year . See this young talent act his ass off before he drives off into the IMAX sunset.

Boxcar’s back! Technically it never went away but it did sort of take a long nap. In the past year the group had become a link hub instead of the energised community that was originally intended, but things have changed and we’re back with a brand new site and some cool projects to bring us all together and give you guys more reasons to visit every day besides checking up on your links.

The most exciting news for me is that Phil who I work on Matriculated with, has been added to the Boxcar roster. It’s nice to have two of the Pimp strips featured and to officially have Phil as part of that community. More Boxcar news to come, but for now just go check out the new digs!

Fellow Boxcar member Wes Molebash of You’ll Have That fame has struck gold again with his latest comic The Litterbox Chronicles over at Zuda Comics. Litterbox is a brand new strip featuring two house cats getting into trouble. As a lifelong cat person (not like a mutant freak, more like an owner) this strip leaps right out at me. With beautiful art and a classic style of joke-telling Wes has created another great comic worth adding to the list.

If you’re a member of Zuda Comics (and why shouldn’t you be, they seem like delightful people) and you like what you see, be sure to vote for The Litterbox Chronicles to make sure that it sticks around.

Well, that’s a lot to take in for one day so I’ll cut it short. Thanks for reading!