Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Semi-Pro
Starring: Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, André Benjamin, Maura Tierney, Andrew Daly, Will Arnett, Andy Richter, David Koechner, Jackie Earle Haley
Directed by: Justin Chadwick
New Line Cinema
The Official Site of Semi-Pro
Discuss Semi-Pro on the boards!
Will Ferrell is back! And he's brought with him the same old tricks, the same old cast and the same old laughs. As well as all of these things have performed for him in the past, I'm not saying it in a complimentary manner. We've been down this road before and we enjoyed it, but a different sports theme, a different city, and a different era of time does not a new movie make.
In Semi-Pro Ferrell's brutish dim bulb of a character is Jackie Moon, owner, player, coach/pre-game announcer and pop singing sensation for the Flint Tropics, a fictional basketball franchise in the American Basketball Association. The ABA was a major league alternative to the NBA before the two merged in the late 70’s. That’s where we meet the Tropics who learn they’ll have to compete to become one of the 4 teams absorbed in the merger. From there on out Semi-Pro becomes an epic battle for 4th place!
There's something refreshingly amusing about that. So often in the underdog sports comedy, we see the loveable losers struggling to best the natural pros, but Semi-Pro is just a fight to be third worst. Realistic goals are important, even in 1970's Michigan.
Just as we’ve dedicated ourselves to Jackie’s mission to save the team, Semi-Pro upsets the natural course by introducing a second storyline and a completely fresh cast of characters that distracts you from the premise they worked so hard to establish in the first 20-minutes of the movie. A new addition to the team in veteran player Ed Monix (ably handled by the timeless and underrated Woody Harrelson) along with his ex-girlfriend ( Maura Tierney) and biggest fan (Rob Corddry) offers some much needed heart and plot development outside the court. The thing is… it's almost too interesting.
Their end of the story, in many ways, is more fun to watch than what should be the main story of saving the franchise. It becomes unclear who deserves our attention. Jackie’s struggle seems less significant in comparison to Harrelson’s battle to prove himself as a ball player and his "old flame" love story with Tierney. Ferrell becomes a supporting character in his starring vehicle and the movie loses direction.
As the battle for the spotlight picks up Jackie’s story revolves around bringing in the crowds. This gives Ferrell a chance to do what he does best. Act like a complete jackass. His wild promotions deliver some of the more hearty and unexpected laughs of the entire film. The film itself may not be a classic but people will be talking about that bear bit for a while.
Out of a cast that we've come to love in movies like this, the strongest stand-outs have got to be Andrew Daily and Will Arnett who play the color commentators for the Tropics. Arnett is his usual hard-nosed sonofabitch and it plays as strongly as ever, but the beauty of the pairing is how Daily's submissive straight man plays off of him. He's positively upbeat and unshakeable even in the face of complete humiliation, and as a team they run away with every scene they show up in.
You've seen them before though. You’ve seen this entire movie before. It was a different sport and a different hair style, but you’ve followed this plot, seen this capable cast and laughed these laughs at least a few time now. That’s not such a horrible thing. I mean, I’ll happily laugh at something that’s funny, but I’m certainly less likely to appreciate a 5th generation hand-me-down as I am the perfect original that got me hooked on this plot, this cast and these laughs in the first place.
That's not to say that Semi-Pro doesn't have anything to offer. Besides the bear there are a handful of other moments that should be referenced for years by groups of drunk friends across the world. Besides the bear, you've got the jerk-off thing, the jive turkey thing, the dry heaves thing, even the Love Me Sexy thing, but that's just off the top of my head. There are little moments here that are just as much fun, even if they were a little more fun the first time we saw. If Ferrell insists on return trips to the well of the oversexed, dim goofball, I’d sooner see him bring back Ron Burgundy in an Anchorman sequel than churn out another generic rip off.
Rating: 6.5 out of 10 - Lots of laughs and a sloppy but easy to follow story will keep you entertained for the most part through Semi-Pro but it’s hard to say if it could be considered the next Ferrell classic. The laughs are there, but it never commits to a singular path and the same old shtick is beginning to wear thin.
It certainly won’t qualify as a classic in the box office department Bad reviews and an R-rating kept the crowds and the kids out of Semi-Pro this weekend making it the worst Will Ferrell opening in the last decade. With just over 15 million, Semi-Pro performed well bellow what was expected even though it did manage to squeak out the top spot over February’s leftovers Vantage Point and The Spiderwick Chronicles. With no solid challengers in the first couple weeks of March (Bank Job looks like fun but is anyone excited about 10,000 B.C.?) Semi-Pro may be able to hang tough and earn some respectable money. If not, Ferrell may be steering clear of the wild world of sports comedy for a few years.
Well, sure why not? If you check out the “DVD Worthy’ sections for Ferrell’s other sports themed comedies Blades of Glory and Talladega Nights you’ll see me saying something to the effect of “this movie will be epic on DVDâ€. More to the point, the movies get better with age. Repeat viewings will bring out the best and make you forgive the worst of even the least successful of Ferrell’s broader comedies.
Semi-Pro is on exception. I’d caught a sneak preview of the film at the beginning of the fall and even in this second time around the laughs felt fresh and satisfying. A lot has changed between the two cuts but they were smart enough to keep in the big laughs or at least enough of them to make the movie worth picking up on DVD.
Step Brothers - John C. Reilly joins Ferrell in this summer's Step Bothers, the story of two 40-year-old men that never grew up. This clip is pretty strong and got a good reaction from the crowd that had actually paid to see Semi-Pro. Truthfully though, I'm just as eager to see Ferrell tackle man-child as I am to see him churn out another sports comedy. Do I really have to pays 11 dollars to see him act silly with his friends when I can get that for free on a regular basis? (Green Team!) How can I resist though?
With both of them coming off of disappointing box office outings it’ll be interesting to see if this heavy hitting comedy duo can capture the same magic they were able to in Talladega Nights. Trading in the instant business that comes with the hugely popular NASCAR for kiddie gags geared hard at that coveted 12-year-old market may not work on paper, but these guys have surprised us before.
On tonight's Triple Feature, Show #62, we'll be talking about Semi-Pro as well as the weekend's other new release The Other Boleyn Girl, which was excellently mocked in this past weeks Saturday Night Live. It's nice to have SNL back and it's great that it's become sort of popular again. It's not a perfect show by any means, I feel like there are just as many hits as there are misses, but it's nice to have it back home making those hits.
Over in the boards we're in the process of picking out the next subject of the JLCM Book Club. We've had a lot of success with both I Am Legend and Jumper, and we're eager to keep the ball rolling!
There have been some great suggestions so far, but the front runner to me so far has got to be Bringing Down The House, a book that has inspired the new film 21. I like that it's something completely fresh in comparison with the other two books. It's roots aren't in science fiction or horror and it doesn't come with a built in fan base. I love those book too, but I feel like it's important to keep the JLCM Book Club evolving with each choice. We'll certainly return to that witch we inherently love, but it could potentially become boring if we don't make an effort to mix it up a little.
Disagree with me and would prefer to read the Forbidden Kingdom? Well don't be shy, have your say! That's all for now, but thanks for reading!
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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V