Released: 6/24/05

Viewed: 5:00:pm 6/27/05

Starring: Simon Baker, Dennis Hopper, John Leguizamo, Asia Argento

Directed by: George A. Romero

Romero deserves the zombie respect he gets. Once every decade (pretty much, he took the 90's off, but honestly - didn't most of us?) he delivers the world a fresh perspective on the genre he invented. Zombie flicks! Land of the dead holds true. It is a bold vision of a world infested with the living dead. The visuals are beautiful, the concept is brain candy, and the hidden truth behind the story is very well done. It's even loaded to the gills with blood and guts. But where's the horror?

Romero uses Land as a not so subtle commentary of a post 9/11 America. Different social classes, selfish leaders, terrorist threats, confused and angry mobs. It's all pretty clear but not SO clear that you're rolling your eye's every 40 seconds. Ok the black butler was a little over the top.

By comparison Romero's crew has gotten stronger. Sure a few decades make a difference, but the visual and make-up effects are awesome. The inspiration for some death scenes is unique to itself. Which honestly has got to be the hardest part to making a good zombie movie. There are so many ways to die but when they show you something you couldn't have imagined it deserves attention. There's plenty of deserved attention here. The real treat here is that most of the effects were not CGI. It's a true testament to good old fashion film making when you see pro's really work to make the movie look good, and not use the computer as a crutch. There are some computer effects, but nothing overly obvious. And I'm not ragging on modern CGI zombie-fests. Loved the Dawn of the dead remake. It was slick, flashy and scary as hell. There's nothing wrong with entertainment.

As much as I enjoyed the hard won visuals, and superior monster make-up this horror movie was missing one major thing ? HORROR. I wasn't scared at all. Normally I'm cowering behind my extra large soda peeking through my fingers or pretending to look at the screen but really looking at the ceiling. But nothing. It didn't even start of scary.

Your basic horror movie will start with 10-15 minutes of terror. Just to remind you that you're supposed to be scared. Then they get you comfortable. You relax, and forget about the monsters. Then BAM! They're back and you jump even higher. With Land it starts in the comfort zone. At first I thought this was brilliant. Make us wait for the big scare. But you'll wait all night. There are a couple of moments where you expect it, but there are no moments where you're freaked out.

Here's the big test. Every night I turn off everything and check to make sure the front door is locked. I do this in complete darkness before heading to the bedroom. If Land of the Dead were REALLY frightening, I wouldn't have been able to do this in the dark. Or I would have scurried to the bedroom a little faster. As it was, I wasn't even thinking about it. Hopped into bed and realized how much I wasn't thinking about it, and I was really disappointed. It's not just that Romero's movies are more about commentary, and less about horror. I really believe that good terror would have made the commentary stronger. I don't know. Maybe I'm part of the generation that has been desensitized to violence. But I freak out pretty easy. There's nothing here.

The real reason there's no horror is because the zombies pose no real threat. You'd have to be deaf and blind not to notice them coming. Like many good zombie movies we find out that the true enemy is not the zombies, but mankind themselves. They turn on each other for survival. Always looking out for number one. That's where the real threat lies, that's where the real interest in the story lies.

The acting is fine, but there are no standouts. Hopper and Leguizamo play their villain and anti hero's well enough, but neither is as bad ass as the Black dude from ?78's Dawn of Dead Simon Baker sinks into the background, and becomes completely forgettable. That can't happen to your star. Truthfully one of the better performances here is from our featured zombies. There's a lot of emotion expressed with no words and heavy make up. You feel their pain, and for the first time in any zombie movie, you kind of feel sorry for them. I mean beyond the whole ? eaten alive/reanimated/cursed to wonder the world forever thing.

6 out of 10 Over all it's a really entertaining movie, with a great look, and a fantastic premise. I'm eager to see if Romero or anyone will take the idea of a world of zombies, and really move to the next level. No, I'm not talking about zombies in space. Although...

DVD worthy?: Possibly. To be honest I'm more likely to buy and watch the other more recent zombie movies of the recent zombie movie invasion. The Dawn remake was a great retake on things with fantastic visuals and ideas. Shaun of the Dead was a great new look at the old genre which has a hugely high re-watch-ability factor. And 28 Days Later is a better commentary on the human behavior. Everyone in that movie, EVERYONE, breaks down to the basics of survival. It's fascinating. As entertained as I was by Land, there would have to be a load of extras for me to pick it up.

Trailer Hitch

I really wanted to do Hustle and Flow but Skeleton Key I felt I needed to mention because the trailer for this movie freaked me out more then anything in Land of the Dead.

This is the next in a long line of Japanese horror remakes starring Hollywood's foxiest blonde's. Playing the role of Naomi Watts this time around is Kate Hudson. Honestly I can't give you a good review of this because I couldn't watch it. Too creepy. Too many jump cuts and little kids quickly running across the hallway. I can't deal with that. We all know kids shouldn't be running across things. It's chaos!

Seriously the movie has something to do with voodoo and believing in magic. It looks ok, a little more complicated then say ? Dark Water, or the Grudge. I'm not a huge fan of this kind of film but they are often more interesting then not.