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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Norbit

Released: 2/09/07

Viewed: 11:10 am 2/09/07

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Thandi Newton, Terry Crews, Cuba Gooding Jr., Eddie Griffin, Katt Williams, Marlon Wayans

Directed by: Brian Robbins

2929 Productions - Official Site of the Movie

Eddie Murphy is BACK! …in his comfort zone. After winning our hearts, awards and the worlds respect as a serious actor, Murphy goes back to what he knows works in the by-the-books comedy Norbit. While rumors swirl that the same old thing might hurt his Oscar chances, there’s no doubt that audience will turn out to see Murphy in the genre of comedy he has perfected. But even though its heart is in the right place Nobit gets an F as in “Formulaic”, “Forced”, “Flatulence” and yes - “Failure”. It’s a shame it couldn’t also stand for “Funny”.

Murphy is pulling triple duty as a Norbit, a young man who was orphaned as a child, Mr. Wong, the old Chinese man that raised him, and Rasputia, the abusive girlfriend that takes advantage of his weak will and want of a family. Playing a man and his parent is one thing but I think Murphy is the first person to actually play his own love interest. Murphy still shows that he’s got what it takes as each character is unique unto themselves. I was particularly pleased with Norbit and Mr. Wong who showed different levels of humor and heart with much success. Rasputia however was just one fat joke after another. She was a character with no depth. A catch phrase with a fat ass.

That catch phrase she uses, “How you doin’?” said with different accents and emphasis, comes out of the blue. For the first third of the movie it’s nowhere to be found, then all of the sudden every other sentence ends with “How you doin’?!” I felt like I had missed something. It was like halfway through the shoot the producers realized a catch phrase would help them sell merchandise better. Of course it doesn’t help that this catch phrase isn’t even original. What are the chances that they got a good deal on the left over “How you Doin’?” shirts from the sitcom Friends, and wanted to unload them 5 years later?

If Norbit is anything it’s formulaic. The good guys are purely good. The bad guys are purely bad. So when a child hood crush (Thandie Newton) returns to town and her fiancé is a jerk you can just about map out every major plot point from there on out. I appreciate a clear-cut character or two to keep things simple, but with no grey area every character falls into a very specific role. The kind of role where their actions are predictable, and predictability can destroy even the best scripts.

But people aren’t going to see Norbit for its layered and inspiring plot, they’re showing up to laugh until it hurts, though it’s more likely they’ll be hurt they didn’t laugh. Not only is the story formulaic but the jokes are too. There’s too much relying on what’s worked in the past and for that I curse everyone that’s ever laughed too hard at a fart joke or a man in drag. Of course I’d be cursing myself because a properly timed fart joke can actually be pretty fun. But it’s a crutch that’s been used far too often.

Norbit is not completely unfunny, but I consider Murphy to be a pretty edgy guy, and if anything Norbit shows us how a decades worth of family safe comedy has worn down the edges of this genius. Norbit is safe, harmless, and you’ll wait all day to be blown away by it. And it’s not just that it’s family friendly, comedy doesn’t have to be “grown up” to be funny. You shouldn’t have to say the F word to get a laugh, but when did farting replace a well-written joke? If you told me no one was writing jokes for this movie I wouldn’t be surprised at all. It feels much more like they just said, “put fatty in a unlikely situation and let Eddie improve us to a 20 million dollar opening weekend.”

I took few laughs away from the endless parade of fat jokes, but I didn’t find it offensive as some people have. They attack certain stereotypes of fat people and really push some old jokes as if they were revolutionary moments in comedy (whoever thinks that a fat person draining a pool by jumping into it deserves to have their name attached to this mess). I didn’t find the specific fat jokes particularly funny nor, as a fat man, did they offend me. I think it comes down more to the character of Rasputia who is such a monster that any negativity she portrays falls on her character as a person, not her eating disorder. The fat jokes don’t feel purposefully cruel, but I didn’t hear anyone laughing either.

They seem to be sacrificing laughs for heart, which would have been ok had the emotional end connected stronger. I liked Norbit and felt sorry for him, but not nearly enough to force a few tears (or laughs) out.

The movie is not up to par with Murphy’s best, but will it seriously hurt his chances at the Oscar? He’s won the SAG award and Golden Globe, could one rotten tomato really sway voters that much? I doubt it. Most voters are smart enough to judge a performance for what it is without letting lesser performances get in the way. You think people were talking about Booty Call when they were voting for Jamie Fox to win an Oscar for Ray? Granted, Norbit is pretty impossible to avoid right now, but we have to give them a little credit for awarding the performance, not the career.

I wish it was better but I just can’t recommend it. Norbit takes no risks and relies on an audience that will fall for the something that they’ve fallen for before. I guess that’s ok for making money in Hollywood, but as a Murphy fan, I’d rather see him fall on his face with a risky comedy than cash in with a safe one.

Rating: 4 out of 10 - Eddie does some nice work and there’s a great supporting cast that add nice little pieces to the mix, but the whole of the movie just isn’t strong enough on its own. Norbit is harmless and worth the wait to rent.

A DVD commentary or behind-the-scenes featurette isn’t going to reveal anything that will make Norbit a movie better. The only thing I might be a little interested in would most likely deal with the creation and shooting of the multiple characters that Eddie had to play. Eddie and the legendary Rick Baker collaborated in bringing these characters to life and they looked fantastic, but if I really want insight on their process I’m much more likely to look towards films they collaborated in that I actually enjoyed like Coming to America and The Nutty Professor.

There was some really nice stuff done in blending the characters together on screen. I mean, Murphy plays his own love interest so some of those scenes aren’t going to be easy to shoot and all but one of them were really convincing. Some information on that might be interesting, but in the new age of technology, are shots like that really so difficult? Difficult enough to spend 4 dollars to find out how they did it? I doubt it.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me - I really wanted to avoid making a recommendation based on one star playing multiple parts and instead focus on the story of a man caught in an abusive relationship. But the truth is I find those comedies to be more frustrating than anything else, and there’s no escaping the big make-up job in Norbit. So I’ve buckled under the pressure and decided to ignore the substance of the film and focus on the flash. And I’m going to recommend Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me, a movie that has Mike Myers doing the multiple paycheck thing.

Murphy obviously defined how to play multiple, heavily disguised roles, but I think Myers made a strong statement with the Austin Powers franchise. With Austin, Dr. Evil, Fat Bastard, and Goldmember he’s created four of the most quoted movie figures of the last 10 years. I still know people that say “Shmoke und a pancake?” Why would anyone say that?

A big controversy with Norbit is how offensive it is to fat people. The reason I chose Austin 2 is because it’s the first that features Fat Bastard, a character that equally attacks fat people and fat stereotypes. But he does so in a way that’s somehow less offensive. I think the audience reaction has something to do with the likeability of the character. Rasputia is a beast. There’s nothing good about her, but Fat Bastard, a villain in the film, still has some redeeming qualities about him. Now that I say that I can’t think of one, but you can’t help but love the guy.

Knocked Up - I admit that part of me is worried about Knocked Up, the new film from writer/producer/director Judd Apatow (40 Year Old Virgin, Freaks and Geeks). How much of it is going to be the same kind of outrageous comedy that we’re so familiar seeing from him, and how much of it is going to be “aren’t kids adorable” humor.

You know how it is when your favorite filmmakers make an amazing movie, then they go have kids and come back with Jersey Girl. Reitman went from Ghostbusters to Kindergarten Cop. John Hughes went form The Breakfast Club to Curly Sue and never directed anything ever again. I’m just not ready for the same fate to befall Apatow.

Thankfully the trailer looks to be the raunchy getaway for the adults that are forced to sit through Kindergarten Cop and Curly Sue on a daily basis. The humor is crass and big, and there seems to be nothing to imply that Apatow will go the way of past greats. If the theatrical trailer doesn’t convince you check out this R-rated version on Youtube.

Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V