After watching and reviewing Episode III way back when, I promised more detailed observations on certain aspects of the film. I finished them up a couple of weeks ago but decided against rushing them out. Honestly I wanted to leave the Batman Begins strip up for the week it came out. That's just good business. Now on to the bad business, putting up and discussing things people don't care about anymore ? Star Wars! It's SOOOOO three weeks ago.

The first topic I wanted to focus in on was the dialogue and performance. That seemed to have the biggest effect on people. May fans were unified in they're hatred of it in this final episode. Seems worse then the hatred for the Ewoks. I'm to young to remember but you hear stories. Isn't there even a organized united front against the Ewoks? I'm surprised such a group has not formed against the dialogue in Episode III. PITS WUDTLT. People In The Star Wars Universe Don't Talk Like That. Ok, it doesn't exactly roll of the tongue but you get the idea.

Truthfully I wasn't bothered so much by the dialogue. There's a lot of nit picking over the little things like ? "Yipee!" or " It's not fair!" but you need to relax. Getting upset over that isn't going to change anything. Focus in on the real crap.

While people overreact to that, they are very justified in hating "Hold me like you did by the lake on Naboo." That line sent shivers down my spine. The wrong kind of shivers. It's enough to put on one of the most menacing costumes and scream "NOOOOOOO" like a whiny little bitch. (Ok, the scream was justified in the story but completely ridiculous.)

During my second viewing a was determined to find the best dialogue the movie had to offer. The dialogue we were used to form the original trilogy. (I know, Lucas didn't script the dialogue for all three, but he wrote New hope, and that was the bomb.) Unfortunately the classic lines were few and far between. Here are, I feel, the best Episode III offers up:

As Dooku moves towards them:

Supreme Chancellor: Get help! You're no match for him. He's a Sith Lord. Obi-Wan: Chancellor Palpatine, Sith Lords are our specialty.

The delivery is a little cocky for a jedi, but whatever, it still sounds cool when he says it.

Count Dooku: Your swords, please. We don't want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor.

That's a pretty bad ass thing to say when you walk in a room.

Speaking of an unconscious Obi Wan:

Supreme Chancellor: Leave him or we'll never make it!

Anakin Skywalker: His fate will be the same as ours.

That's a great line summing up the respect and honor a jedi should have. Although they clash heads Anakin does look up to Obi Wan. Going against the chancellor to save him is great but to do it with that line is fantastic. It's a plus that this is in the opening 15 minutes

Anakin Skywalker: If you're not with me... then you're my enemy!

Obi-Wan: Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.

Anakin Skywalker: You will try.

"You will try." Come on! That's way too bad ass!

After Captain Cody says he and his men may not be able to back him up as quickly as he would like.

Obi Wan: Very well. The burden is on me not to destroy all the droids before you get there.

Again it's a little cocky for a jedi, but it's a great line. Obi wan was sucha cocky bad ass. Then he gave it all up to talk to dead people and watch a little boy in the desert. Cree-py!

Obi Wan: You were the chosen one!

I think that line would have been pretty bad ass if it wasn't all over the commercials.

As you see they aren't exactly jumping out at you, and none are at the level as some of the classic lines in the original trilogy, but this is far from horrible. People have said this is the worst script in the last 10 years. Does anyone honestly believe that? Ignoring the fact that the script has epic characters maneuvering the events fan boy's have dreamt about for nearly 20 years ? you've got some great ideas and some great action sequences. All laid out in the script. Should we allow the fact that Obi Wan Kenobi has been part of all of our lives, for all of our lives, cloud us form the fact that this is a sub par script. Well, no. I think everyone's got a right to complain about certain aspects, but over all this so so script birthed a pretty damn fine movie experience.

So what went wrong? Lucas wrote this movie, and he didn't write Empire, which has arguably the best dialogue of all six. But New Hope had some great stuff. What happen? Did he blow his load on the first movie. A lifetime collecting excellent lines, resulted in nothing to use in the other's. Like a band that comes out of nowhere and takes over the world with an album they've been building and perfecting for 10 years. 6 months later they have to record the sophomore effort. And there's no material. Is that what went down?

Or do we blame the actors? All great actors. Every one of them. Did they drop the ball? Is it that hard to act against a green screen? Is the Star Wars universe to silly to take seriously? Does Sam Jackson loose all his cool when has to play it straight? (I say yes on the last on by the way. Jackson is great when he lets loose. Playing an emotionless Jedi zombie he never looks or feels comfortable. Love ya Sam ? Sorry.) There are some horrible line readings in the movie though. As strong as Ian McDiarmid was in this movie when he becomes the Emperor he turns into a Ham. Anakin says he'll do whatever the emperor wishes. McDiarmid comes back with the word "Good." There's a few places he could have gone with that, He choose Frankenstein monster enjoying a bowl of soup. Yikes.

So, I forgive you Lucas for coming up short on the words. I forgive you cast for phoning it in from the lake at Naboo. Episode III was a blast. There will always be people to turn a cold shoulder to it, or nit pick it to death. But at the end of the day ? DARTH FREAKIN' VADER!!!!!

I need to mention that I did not write this particuler strip. It came from an Episode III spoiler discussion thread on the Digital pimp boards here. The man that supplied it was afr0puff whose mindless babbling can be found here. I thought it was a fantastic observation that would work well with comic book style visuals. Much thanks to Afr0.