Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Veronica Mars: Season 3 Episode 1
Well, the season three opener of Veronica Mars: the College Years was able to produce a smart and exciting introduction to the new year, but was unable to convince enough people to stick around to watch it. The numbers weren’t horrible, but they were below expectations and a full season is certainly not a guarantee at this point. Still, the promising start story wise gives us all hope that the quality of the show will draw in new viewers, and if not - at least they’ll go out while they’re still good.
I thought the first episode acted very well as an introduction to new viewers, and as an introduction for the characters into a new stage of life. Veronica’s got a new school, a new hairstyle, a new set of expensive clothes she’ll only wear once, and a new set of mysteries to uncover with her super-sleuthing prowess. It was really great to see her up to her old tricks even if it was solving a petty crime that’s not exactly on par with bombs on buses, but acted as a nice introduction to a couple of new regular characters including Wallace’s new roommate Pizz (Pezz, Piss, I have no idea what his name is. But for the record, I hope his crush on Veronica leads to an interesting storyline, but no official relationship. She belongs with Logan. Even the Aerie girls could tell you that.)
The only potential confusion in the first episode would have to be why the bald guy from Just Shoot Me (as I’m sure most Veronica noobs are calling him) is trapped out in the desert. I myself had to think hard to remember what he was up to last year that resulted in him hiding behind a rock at gunpoint. I remembered enough to get caught up but I feel bad for people that are new to the show because it was under-explained, and it looks like it could go on for a couple of episodes.
Thankfully the focused story of a serial rapist on campus that leaves his victims with a shaved head had just enough back-story and just enough tease to make it interesting enough to return to. The storyline originated last season when the kid’s from Arrested Development guest starred and helped introduce the epidemic. It was one of the only storylines that went unanswered and I’m glad they’re really focusing on it now. It’s fresh enough for new viewers but offers a nice wink to the fans.
For their first show on a new network I think the folks at Veronica Mars offered up exactly what they needed to. A touch of history. A hint at the future. Plenty of snappy dialogue and pop culture references. Mac’s roommate randomly undressing in the dorm room. But was it enough? I’m certainly excited about tonight’s episode, but I’ve been excited about pretty much every episode since season 1 episode 4. So many people are sold on the show already. Let’s hope it’s enough.
The good news with the ratings disappointment is that The CW is performing lower than hoped across the boards, struggling to carry over on it’s bigger shows, and convince new viewers that a network they’ve never heard of before is worth their time. If the CW is under pressure as a whole then they’ll be less likely to ditch out on a show like Mars that they’ve invested so much into. At the end of the day the numbers aren’t that bad and if a show has enough rabid Internet fans, amazing things can happen. Just don’t mention that on any Farscape message boards.
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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
