Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Open Season
Released: 09/22/06
Viewed: 7:30 pm 09/28/06
Starring: Martin Lawrence, Ashton Kutcher, John Favreau, Gary Sinise, Jane Krakowski, Debra Messing, Billy Connolly, Patrick Warburton
Directed by: Roger Allers, Jill Culton
Sony Pictures Official Site of the Movie
About the Comic: Some of you keener viewers may have noticed that in the interest of good faith I’ve got Irv wearing the Hooray For Diversity shirt. You can check out and purchase the shirt through Goats. I don’t get a commission or anything. I just think it’s a cool shirt. Anyway. On to the review.
Review:
In last weeks Ashton Kutcher weekend it was pretty clear that one of his two major releases would take the top prize. Most people found little difficulty choosing between the two because they were both so different. The Guardian, a coming of age action drama targeted teenage girls and their thrill seeking boy friends, while Open Season, a buddy comedy with bears instead of cops and animation instead of film targeted the little siblings of those teenaged girls and thrill seeking boyfriends. I’ve seen both and though each presents a very different version movie and a very different version of Ashton, it’s easy for me when I say, “The wacky deer wins out.”
What can I say? I’m a sucker for a flashy cartoon and a few animated fart jokes. One in particular that was so unexpected and just funny enough to actually make me spit soda out of my mouth. I swear to god. And a lot of it too. That hasn’t happened to me in the theater in a good long while.
Those funny moments are strong but don’t come as consistently as I would like. That’s no to say that the movie is ever boring or dull, in fact it moves along at a really great pace. But I would have traded one or two of those knockout gags for some smaller jokes to keep me smiling throughout.
Open Season’s true strength is in its animation, which impressed me from beginning to end. This story of a domesticated bear released into the wild left a lot of potential for different settings and different activities to challenge the animators. There are complicated fight scenes between humans and bears, automobiles caught in a flood, and animal fur as far as the eye can see, and it’s all done very well. The only thing I question was some of the synthetics. Things like paper and clothing were sometimes flat and stood out. Almost like they were an afterthought to nature’s spotlight. It wasn’t a huge deal, overall the animation and character design is probably the sharpest of the year, but secondary elements done with short cuts will always stick out like a sore paw.
Open Season boasts a cast worthy of it’s high standard of animation. I’m a huge Martin Lawrence fan and if his biggest hits of the last 5 years have to be in fat lady suits and as animated bears, so be it. The guys just funny and I wish him nothing but success. As Boog the bear he defiantly brought an air of laid back cool to the role, while still being able to play scared and vulnerable once the character is abandoned in a strange setting.
I wouldn’t say that I’m a huge Ashton Kutcher fan, but I certainly admire what he’s been able to do. He’s parlayed a supporting character on a FOX sitcom into a career as one of the most successful actor/producers in Hollywood today. This loveable goof is a shrewd businessman, and the scary thing is… he’s just getting started. In Season he’s more goof than mogul, but thankfully he still plays dumb like a pro and helped to keep the movie light and fun. As a pair, Kutcher and Lawrence were easily as effective as Myers and Murphy, and there wasn’t a Scottish accent to be found between them.
I liked it, but I’m not sure if Season is a movie that will last the ages. It has some emotion but never pushes it far enough to really affect you. It has some strong jokes but won’t keep you laughing regularly. It’s fun, but somewhat forgettable. But the box office doesn’t lie. It took down every movie last week including “Action Ashton’s” The Guardian, and I’m not sure I see a contender this coming week that’s strong enough to knock it out of the number one spot. Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson’s boobs, Martin Scorsese, and even Leatherface will do their best to win our hearts, but at the end of the day, the kids are calling the shots and like me, they’re suckers for flashy cartoons and fart jokes. Should be an interesting weekend.
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pretty strong considering the lackluster year of animation we’ve had so far. Strong enough that I’m hoping it does well enough to warrant a sequel. They put together a fun set of characters that I wouldn’t mind paying 10 bucks to see in a new adventure.
DVD Worthy?:
You know, I’m not going to rule it out. It’s sweet and has its funny moments but more importantly it keeps a brisk pace and doesn’t get too boring for the kids or adults. Animated movies have a lot of room for extras and the fact that this movie is doing so well in theaters is a good sign that we might actually get a good set in a few months. If there’s enough content on there I might have to get it, but animation is a fickle mistress. I’m sure by the time this comes out I would have been enchanted by some other talking animal with life-like fur.
Trailer Hitch: Surf’s Up
There’s another penguin movie on the scene. These things always seem to work in shifts. This winter we’ll be treated to 2 animated movies about mice. Another reason to get excited about the holidays.
Surf’s up has clean animation and an impressive cast of talent voicing its characters, but what really caught my eye was the way the camera’s moving. It almost feels like an animated documentary. A style that’s never really been tackled in a feature length animated film before. If the whole movie is done in this way I’d be very impressed, and very interested how well a “hand held” camera translates to the cartoon world. Surfing penguins is as good an event to document as any I suppose, but this kiddie flick’s draw is actually the style. How refreshingly innovative.
Outside the Theater:
Congratulations to the Brazelton’s Tom and Cami who have announced the coming of their baby boy! It may be too early to think about names but I’ve always liked Joe. It’s average and 6-packy. The sort of name that won’t be a let down if he doesn’t do anything with his life. I’m just putting that out there. Tom’s been such a good friend and it’s really thrilling to see him and Cami taking this next step. Good luck guys, and all the best!
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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V