Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.
Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.
With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.
Jackass: Number Two
Released: 09/22/06
Viewed: 7:30 pm 09/28/06
Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, Preston Lacy, Ryan Dunn, Ehren McGhehey, Jason Acuna, Dave England
Directed by: Jeff Tremaine
Dreamworks Official Site of the Movie
So there’s really not too much to say in this review. Jackass: Number Two is all outrageous stunts, disgusting dares, excessive man ass, and a far too trustworthy set of friends taking shots at each other. If I were to describe any of these in detail I would be robbing you of the experience, because as soon as you know what’s going on, the majority of the fun gets sucked out like bursting balloon.
Of course if you haven’t seen Jackass 2 by now then your chances of experiencing it to its fullest are as windless as that balloon. Because if there ever was an event movie that relied on its crows, it this one. Both Jackass films are movies you want to see in packed theaters filled with people screaming at the top of their longs and pounding on the ground with all their might. The right crowd will make this movie better than it actually is. You’ll laugh harder and cheer louder because it’s an event, and as a group you’re part of that. The jackass movie crowd is the one good version of an angry mob.
Due to a slight family thing I missed out on opening weekend and hoped that the good word of mouth, the two thumbs up, and the huge box office would carry those awesome crowds into the weekdays and give me an audience to bond with. I waited to long. Yeo and I went out tonight, the Thursday after its release and saw Jackass 2 with only 20-30 people at the most. Each of them was passionately into the film laughing right along with us, but it wasn’t the same. The adrenaline and excitement I experienced when seeing the first Jackass movie back in 2002, was noticeably absent.
My over 21 solution - If you can’t find the crowds then go in with huge amounts of beer. In no time you’ll have your own band of imaginary moviegoers cackling along with you.
The stunts are great. They definitely upped the anti form the original and really shocked me with the level of personal risk and permanent damage they were willing to dance around. Some of these people walked away with scars they’ll have forever. Part of me thinks that’s awesome. That scar is disgusting but it’s a memory of the experience. A memory of the moment. Another part of me though could do without the huge hole in my body or a burn on my ass. It all plays for great comedy though.
About 20 minutes in I found myself wondering where Steve-O was. He was one of the standout jackasses in the original film and he was hanging around in this sequel but hadn’t really stepped up to play. As soon as the thought entered my head, they cued “The Fish Hook.” Completely insane and really hard to watch. One of those stunts you just can rationalize or understand. Yeo’s reaction to it was, “No. No. Why would you do that? No.” Almost in a way where she was trying to warn him how dangerous and stupid it was. The guy’s nuts but I’m glad he was around for stunts like this. His role in this movie is lighter than before but whenever something really nasty is about to go down, he’s in the spotlight.
As the movie roared on I had to admit that I was a little worried about Johnny Knoxville. He seemed to have a death wish on this film, staying in the scenarios too long, and talking others into participating with him in stunts they had better judgment against. At first his reckless abandon is completely awesome. He’s a super hero. He’s the man. But the further it went and the more dangerous it became, the quicker I realized that this was getting completely out of hand. This man has an actual acting career born from being crazy and he potentially throws it all away every time he flies through the air and lands on his face.
Maybe he’s got it right. Maybe he’s living the life that we all should. He’s living in the moment and having a great time. The majority of the world can’t say that. The majority of the world can’t pull off aviators either.
What I was missing from Jackass 2 was the “on the street encounters”. You know, a half naked little person rolling past a crowd of people in a wheel chair. Ok, there’s some of that but not nearly enough. Those stunts were always so great because of the reactions they would get out of people but here they’re rare. The majority of the stunts seem to take place in abandon parking lots and secluded lakes, and the few trips out into the real world are all done in disguise. Mostly scenes with Knoxville and Spike Jonze wearing really detailed old folks prosthetics showing off their dirty business. It just didn’t work for me. It wasn’t the substitute I was looking for. Of course this is a curse of their fame. The disguises are a direct result of how recognizable they are by the public. But if this is the way it has to be, so be it. As long as in Jackass 3 we can make it through the movie without seeing more than 3 ball sacks.
Ball sacks or not the movie was great fun and an experience worth checking out. Not every stunt will be appealing, some of them will be down right revolting, but I’m willing to be you’ll have a smile on your face the entire time.
Rating: 7 out of 10
I should have seen it sooner. It’s a lesson to really jump on these movies when you have a chance. To really take advantage of the experience. The good news is that it might not be too late for you. The movie is doing well and people may come out again this Friday and Saturday night. If you’ve got the time head on out to see Jackass 2, and let me know if the crowds made it worth it.
DVD Worthy?:
Not for me. This sort of thing is great the first time around but I can’t see myself watching Steve-O take a beer bong up the ass on multiple occasions. I’ll see it again, I’m sure, but I’m not party-animal enough to own this with pride. I wish I was.
The one incentive towards getting the DVD is edited footage. You can feel the abundance of film that hit the cutting room floor because of the ratings board or the running time or whatever. The DVD promises to include all of that goodness to experience for the first time.
Recommendation – Jackass: The Movie:
Is there any other movie I could recommend? Does any other movie capture the same mix of reality and stupidity with such scandalous fun? It’s been too long since I’ve seen the original to properly declare one better than the other, but each has their own moments that are burned into my brain forever, and if it’s been 4 years since you’ve seen it, it’s certainly worth a drunken rental with a group of friends at the very least.
Trailer Hitch: Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny
It’s been a while since
Tenacious D, the greatest band in the history of rock, were at the peek of their popularity. They had their own HBO show, and an album that was as funny as it was actually musically good, but as front man
Jack Black exploded into movie stardom, the D sort of fizzled away. The music’s still great, the show is still funny, but it quickly became a case of “out of sight, out of mind.”
The Pick of Destiny will tell the world just how powerful this twosome of destruction can be. If Black and Kyle Gass can manage to rock the socks off the world with this movie it will silence all those that doubted them and put them back where they belong. On some sort of elaborate thrown with scepters and buxom wenches and so forth. If the movie is received with questionable looks and vague shoulder shrugs… Black will probably do another Mexican Wrestling movie. You gotta bounce back somehow, right?.
I for one can’t wait for this movie to hit because there’s so much potential for this band, and taking it to the big screen should be as legendary as they jokingly imply. It’ll be weird as hell, but it’s almost a guaranteed good time.
Non Movie Related Stuff.
Nothing much to say today, but I want to put out a quick reminder about October’s 10 on the 10th - Top 10 Ghost movies. Ghostbusters seems like a sure bet at this point but I want to make sure every other movie gets a fair shake. Head on over and vote for your favorite!
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Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - The Introduction
Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.
First Appearance - Fever Pitch
Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.
First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior
Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.
First Appearance - V for Vendetta
Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison
Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.
First Appearance - 300
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe
Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.
First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side
Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet
Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.
First Appearance - Four Brothers
Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.
First Appearance - Ultraviolet
Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth
Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.
First Appearance - The Producers
Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!
Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?
First Appearance - Saw IV
Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V
