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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

The Last Kiss

Released: 09/16/06

Viewed: 6:35 pm 09/19/06

Starring: Zach Braff, Jacinda Barrett ,Rachel Bilson, Casey Affleck, Michael Weston, Tom Wilkinson, Blythe Danner, Eric Christian Olsen, Harold Ramos

Directed by: Tony Goldwyn

Dreamwirks Official Site of the Movie

To me, the enjoyment of The Last Kiss came down to expectations. There had been some negative buzz swirling around, specifically about how immature and irresponsible the four friends of the film were. Most people can manage to get through the hallmark of their 30th birthday without having to cheat or abandon their loved ones, but there is so much more going on in this film besides how bad a group of guys can be. I’m not saying cheating is ok but like any good story, the situation is usually not so black and white.

Fully expecting these 30 year olds to be behaving more like 10 year olds, I was thrilled to discover that there was some real depth to the story and some reasoning behind their decision making. Their choices weren’t always smart and could always have been more thought out, but real life is seldom so easy to navigate. Why should these people be flawless just because they’re projected onto a giant screen?

Zach Braff (Scrubs, Chicken Little) stars as Michael, a man that has come to the conclusion that there are no more surprises in life. He’s also just learned that his girlfriend Jacinda Barrett (Posiedon) is pregnant. The movie's focus becomes his reaction to this kind of responsibility and her reaction to his reaction. His reaction was a lot sexier, because of Rachel Bilson (The OC) and her seductive dance moves, but Barrett’s reaction led to some really nice storytelling. It was intelligent and real. In the third act of the film you may question their actions but they’re very easy to relate to. Cheating is unfortunately common and most of the world can sympathize.

All the reviews have targeted the men’s immaturity, but in a discussion over on the boards earlier this week, Tom had an interesting point about how negatively it portrays women. I originally didn’t think much of Barrett’s larger than life reaction to disappointing news or Laura Lee Smith’s constant negativity. Neither speaks well for the fairer sex, but I felt like it wasn’t a stretch outside the realm of believability. In those circumstances I’m not surprised at all by their behavior.

The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that Rachel Bilson’s character was a huge slap in the face to women everywhere. Instead of being an actual character, she takes on the most deplorable female stereotypes for the purpose of moving the story along. When the movie needs her to be a seductive mistress to tempt Michael she swivels in with her designer clothes and excessive eye make up and charms everyone in the room. When the Michael has an epiphany and needs to return to his life, instead of having an honest moment where the two people (who barely know each other) part ways, they turn Bilson into a clingy obsessive head case. As she flirtingly says to Michael, “I have something for you.” I jokingly said to Yeo, “I bet it’s a mix tape.” I was wrong. It was a mix CD.

At the time I wrote it off as nothing significant, but the more I think about it in the context of women being portrayed negatively the more her character leaps out. She was a self serving tool of the movie to make Michael’s descent and redemption more acceptable. It was the least genuine relationship in the film. She looked great though.

All the other guys take a back seat to the larger “cheating” storyline, but I felt like the 4 character’s themes all got good representation and blended together well. Few of these are resolved smoothly but I would have it no other way. Problems in life rarely end as perfect as Hollywood would have you believe.

The best supporting player is Tom Wilkinson. I have no idea why I’m not a bigger fan of his. As one of the least flashy characters in Batman Begins he easily stole every scene he was in. He’s got a remarkable ability to become this average forgettable character that you can’t seem to get out of your mind. That was wildly contradictory, let me try again. He makes the mundane noteworthy.

Wilkinson, as naturally wonderful as he is, is responsible for the element of the film I found most frustrating. He gives advice to his would be son-in-law telling him “not to give up” on his disintegrating relationship, essentially saying that you have to do whatever it takes to make it work. It’s beautiful advice but actually contradicts one of the dilemmas of the other 4. Had that advice been applied in the other’s situation, a restraining order would have soon followed.

The problem is that the advice is too specific. It doesn’t always apply. If it’s true love then he’s persistent. If the love between the two parties is unbalanced then he’s obsessive. What’s the line between romance and stalking? The movie pushes the envelope trying to answer this question as Braff sets up camp on his girlfriend’s front porch, waiting for everything to be ok. It’s not exactly holding up a boom box that’s blasting ‘In Your Eyes’, but it’ll have to do.

This film was directed by Tony Goldwyn, who as soon as I looked up I recognized as the villain in Ghost which I thought was a bit odd. It’s like watching Must Love Dogs and finding out it was directed by Hans Gruber. Goldwyn obviously has some skills that he brings to the table. There were parts of the film that I felt dragged a little, but for the most part the movie rolls along well and unravels in a less than obvious but still realistic way.

My expectations I would never say were low but while I never expected poor quality, I did expect certain things. You should expect not to love Zach Braff. He’s a flawed figure and not in an adorable way. You should expect it to be nothing like Garden State. I think a lot of folks want it to be Garden State because they want more of something they love so much. The Last Kiss is very different. What you should really expect is to not listen to critics anymore. The thing I’ve learned about critics since starting JLCM is that no one is going to constantly get it right. Everyone is going to have their own opinion and their own expectations. It’s ok to respect someone’s opinion but in the end the only one that matters is yours. Can you tell I’m just covering my ass in case you guys don’t like this movie?

Rating: 7 out of 10

Honestly it was nice to go out and see an adult movie. Not a porno movie, a movie for adults. It’s been such a long summer of bang bang ha ha, that I was more than ready for this mature look at immature people.

DVD Worthy?:

Only for the die-hard Braff fans, I’d say. It’s an interesting story that can sort of suck you in, but I can’t imagine actively wanting to watch this over and over again. That’s not to say that if it was on TV I would change the channel. It’s just one of those movies.

Recommendation – I’m Not Sure:

I keep trying to come up with a nice recommendation but only manage to come up with movies I wish I had seen. Did anyone catch The Groomsmen by Ed Burns this past summer? Burns’ films are usually ok but not great. Groomsmen had some good buzz though and a solid cast that made it that much more appealing. It didn’t hurt that I was seeing a lot of press for it right around the time I was getting married and hanging around with my own groomsmen. How did this turn into a triler review?

Anyway, for those of you that have seen The Last Kiss, is there another film it vividly reminds you of? Don’t say Garden State! The key is to find a film that shows a group of friends reaching a common stage of life and reacting to it differently. Something like Waiting to Exhale except with dudes. Screw it, Waiting to Exhale is actually a good movie. Watch that.

Trailer Hitch: Flags of Our Fathers

Flags of Our Fathers on the surface looks like an overly emotional period piece that’s cashing in on the veteran patriotism that has become so popular since September 11th. The biggest insurance that it won’t become a mushy mess is the fact that Clint Eastwood is behind the lenses. Eastwood has been making more frequent trips to the director’s chair in this new millennium and he always has a unique perspective to share that I always look forward to. The integrity and skill he brings to a project like this can keep it stable and real.

The theme of World War II and the classic photograph of the flag-raising at Iwo Jima will strike a strong cord with a lot of viewers, even if the majority of them weren’t alive at the time the photo helped turn the tide of the war. Eastwood seems to have rounded up a solid cast to help him through this and while the trailer indicates it could go mushy at any second, I’m decidedly optimistic.

Non Movie Related Stuff.

Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V