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Discuss this week's Joe Loves Crappy Movies here!

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Love crappy movies but are too ashamed to admit it? Are you a big Rob Schneider fan but you're tired of being burned? Not sure if you want to waste your money on the same old movie? That's why you have Joe.

Joe Loves Crappy Movies is by Joseph Dunn. Joe willingly goes to see the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whenever a crappy movie comes out Joe will be there to see it, make fun of it, and actually review it. Nothing is safe, and nothing is sacred. From the big budget action disasters to the low brow fart based comedies, to anything starring Martin Lawrence? Joe will tear it apart.

With each entry you'll get not only a comic poking fun at the movie, but also a detailed review. Joe's not educated in film or cinematography or acting, he's just a guy that draws comics and likes movies. So if you're looking for the everyman perspective and a little joke in comic form... you're in the right place.

Just My Luck

Released: 05/12/06

Viewed: 11:45am 05/22/06

Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Chris Pine, Samaire Armstrong, Bree Turner, Faizon Love, Missi Pyle

Directed by: Donald Petrie

20 Century Fox Official Site of the movie

I like Lindsay Lohan. I mean, beyond the obvious reasons there are for a grown man to like her. I think she has great presence and natural skills as a comedian on screen. Mean Girls is a brilliant movie, and one of my favorite of its kind, largely due to Lohan’s abilities as a performer. Her latest film Just My Luck isn’t the stylish and sexy wickedly clever satire that Mean Girls was. It’s not even one of those adjectives. But it’s also not bad.

I would call it “by the books” and “safe” before I called it bad. It follows a basic romantic comedy formula that has proven time and again to please audiences. The only problem is Lindsay’s legion of teenage fans aren’t exactly ready to accept her in a Julia Roberts, Jennifer Aniston, Meg Ryan (5 years ago! Ha-HA!), America’s sweetheart sort of role. We still want her to be that sweet adorable teen queen that won our hearts with Disney remakes and innocent feuds with Hillary Duff over Aaron Carter. When do you think is the last time either of them thought about Aaron Carter?

Well as any male between the ages of 15 and 55 would tell you, Lohan is all grown up now, and really… she should be allowed to take on these kinds of roles without it being a big deal or a box office disaster. But the low-ticket sales aren’t the end of the world. The transition will come eventually, I’m sure.

With each new film I try to separate Lindsay the tabloid party monster from Lindsay the actress, and I feel like I’m still able to detach the two. It doesn’t help though that Just My Luck has Lindsay throwing parties, attending parties, using her good looks as a crutch and making out with 20 complete strangers. It reads like a copy of US Weekly without the unflattering photos and nipple slips.

It’s not just pretty pictures and an attractive cast. The whole of Just My Luck is pretty well put together. Safe and predictable, but not without its strengths.

This story of two people whose lives revolve around luck coming together and trading places is handled exactly as it should be. Each character is given a good amount of setup before the big switch. Just enough to show how they’re both slaves to luck but not done in an obvious or overly corny way. What I mean is that the things that happen to them are not so outrageously beyond the realm of good and bad luck. If we as an audience weren’t watching with such knowing eyes, we would just say that she’s having a good day, and he’s having a crap day.

Each character's transformation is neither harsh in its brevity nor tiresome in its length. Even better the circumstances that bring the two back together are both natural and funny. It was nice to see that the story was given as much time as the casting sessions.

Sadly, the ridiculously good looking cast, with a few exceptions, seemed either bored or confused. I thought Chris Pine held his own as the dual lead, but is it wrong that I kept wanting him to be Mark Ruffalo? I want all my sci-fi romantic comedies to star Ruffalo or Cusack. I’m hard-pressed to accept another.

I was glad to see Fazion Love who always makes me laugh. He’s perfectly cast here as a big record executive who knows exactly what his time is worth. Love delivers the ideal balance of unbridled enthusiasm and cold-blooded intimidation. I’d love to see him land more roles like this where, in a position of power, he gets to really tear people down.

It’s difficult to point out specifically where Just My Luck goes wrong. It definitely. does go wrong but the more I analyze the finer points of the film, the more I see how everything lines up well enough. The story is entertaining and sweet, and clever enough in how it all comes together. I admit that I did not guess the ultimate ending, but in hindsight saw that the clues were there all along. That’s cool, that they were able to bring something back and make it work.

The cast is inconsistent, but the ones that need to work the most, work fine. Lohan herself managed to shoot this movie right between her dangerously hot and deathly skinny phases, so she looked great, and that’s always a plus. But something was off. The movie just wasn’t anything special. Everything works but… so what? It’s not enough anymore.

Rating: 5 out of 10

Most people avoided this in theaters but I think it’ll have good legs on video. Curiosity will get the better of people and the DVD will be difficult to find in stock at Blockbuster the week it’s released. It’s really not all that bad, but there are so many other movies that are so much better. DVD Worthy?:

I’m not sure. Yeo and I really like watching this kind of movie on a lazy weekend, but I’ll have to let Yeo decide. There’s so much baggage that comes with Lohan though that I’m going to assume she’ll say “No.”

Trailer Hitch: The Devil Wears Prada

This is a straight up chick flick but the first full trailer makes it look like a smart, sophisticated, and sinfully entertaining film. It stars Anne Hathaway as an assistant to Meryl Streep who is essentially the cruelest boss you could ever imagine. Think Kevin Spacey in Swimming with Sharks except with a stark white wig and 5 inch heels.

The brilliance of the trailer is that it’s basically the first 3 minutes of the movie. We’re introduced to Hathaway on her first day at work and we meet a couple of her future coworkers who all but jump out the window with fear when they hear Streep’s character is on her way up. It’s quick, it’s well written, and it’s a great sign that the movie will be good if all the scenes are this strong. Chick flicks are a dime a dozen, but this one looks like it has potential.

Vote incentive:

Ah, today’s incentive is Lindsay stripping down for the gold. I say give it to her. That incentive is up over at Buzz where you fine folks have voted JLCM into the top ten for the month of June. Top Web needs a little of that love which is why I’m adding a fresh incentive over there too. It’s the final piece in the incentive event - What if Joe Was Laurence Fishburne? Cast your vote to see me as Cowboy Curtis from Pee Wee’s Playhouse. Yep, that was Laurence Fishburne. Crazy, right? Thanks for all the support guys!

Non Movie Related Stuff.

Anyone up for a contest!? The upcoming release of The Devil Wears Prada got me thinking about a possible contest. One that could get the readers involved with the strip. We've all had bad bosses, but who's had the worst? I'd like to hear from you! What's the worst thing your boss has ever asked you to do? Send your best evil boss story to me or post them in this thread, and I'll base the comic of the review on the winner.

The Prizes!

Whoever wins will get the original art of the strip, a copy of Tales From the Pimp issues 0-3, plus a set of the brand new JLCM buttons!

I'll post the two runners up along with the review and each of them will also win a set of the comics and the buttons as well as a sketch of whatever they'd like me to draw!

So dig down deep and try to remember the moments you've repressed of that fast food job you had when you were 15. When the boss made you retrieve a dead bird out off the roof, or the time your boss made you wipe his dogs ass, or the time your boss made you wipe his ass! I don't care, best story wins!

I realize this is kind of a chick flick, but it still felt like a great opportunity to get the community involved with the strip. I’ve got some great readers and I want you to feel involved and connected with the strip.

Thanks for reading, guys!

Live Journal/Myspace/Rotten Tomatoes/Buzz Comix/Top Web Comics/Comics on the Ipod/The Webcomics List/Online Comics/Wikipedia/Comixpedia/JLCM Map!

Joe – The creator of the strip who has embraced giving crappy movies the chance they deserve. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - The Introduction

Yeo – Yeo is Joe’s wife and often the voice of reason in the strip. Having her act rational allows the rest of the cast to embrace being in a comic strip which primarily involves randomly punching people, interacting with fictional characters and talking about boobs. Yeo is smart, beautiful and way too good for Joe. Don’t tip her off.

First Appearance - Fever Pitch

Irv – Joe’s movie-going sidekick who’s always down for watching Jason Statham crescent moon kick some thug through a plate glass window and getting some drinks before after and during a Vin Diesel movie. Like the majority of the cast he’s obsessed with boobs.

First Appearance - Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Agent 337 George Jones – A government Agent that took over for Joe after he was bad-mouthing President Bush in the V for Vendetta strip. George ran the show for over a month bring a much needed sense of patriotism and justice to both the strips and reviews. He eventually got too attached to his work, empathizing with Joe’s plight to give crappy movies a fair shake. In a way he came to love crappy movies as well and was pushed out of the position. He spiraled out of control and ended up in prison. His adventures will be told in the limited series JLCM Presents: 337 Locked Up which is set to début Christmas of 09.

First Appearance - V for Vendetta

Other Notable Appearances: Stay Alive, Ice age 2, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector, Slither, Here Comes Guest week, Let’s Go To Prison

Leonidas – The former king of Sparta who has traveled into the future and is having trouble coping with the modern times. Yelling loudly and kicking people into giant holes doesn’t really work the same way it did in the olden days. As time as gone by he’s adjusted but it’s a safe bet that he’s always one bad message away from throwing a spear through someone.

First Appearance - 300

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Strip# 300, The Golden Compass, Rambo, Untraceable, The Ladies of Max Paybe

Palpatine – Former Senator, Emperor of the Galactic Empire, Sith Lord... He shows up in the Joe Loves Crappy movies galaxy on occasion to let people know that they’re being stupid. No one’s really sure how he shows up in this universe but chances are it breaks all kinds of copywrite laws.

First Appearance - Episode III: The Dark Side

Other Notable Appearances: Four Brothers, Night Watch, Saw 3, Are We Done Yet

Slow Billy – Billy is a sweet kid but he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. If you’re watching him for the day be prepared to explain to him the plot of the movie or how popcorn works or, not so much where babies come from, but what babies are. He’s a complete moron.

First Appearance - Four Brothers

Other Notable Appearances: The Chronicles of Narnia, The Da Vinci Code, Vantage Point, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Kyle the Movie Snob – Be careful what fun facts about movies you tell your friends at a friendly gathering or in line for the latest blockbuster, because if you’re even slightly wrong, Kyle will be more than happy to let you know. He usually gets what’s coming to him though. Poor guy has cracked three ribs since joining the JLCM cast.

First Appearance - Ultraviolet

Other Notable Appearances: 16 Blocks, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, Transformers, Journey to the Center of the Earth

Jean-Luc Picard – Another lawsuit waiting to happen is Jean Luc Picard who, towards the end of the strip’s first year, became the go-to background character. If there was ever a seat to fill or a random person to place wandering around in the background, nine times out of ten it was Picard. While Picard has crossed paths with Irv he and Joe have never met. Perhaps they will some day but for now just can an eye on the background.

First Appearance - The Producers

Other Notable Appearances: I’m not telling you, that’s no fun. It’ like Where’s Waldo – go find him!

Ice Cream Sandwich – Delicious and… deadly? Usually when you see someone eating an Ice Cream sandwich, someone else is experiencing a substantial amount of pain. Still, how nice is an ice cream sandwich on a hot summer day?

First Appearance - Saw IV

Other Notable Appearances: Bee Movie, Run Fatboy Run, Saw V