Released: 03/31/06

Viewed: 2:30pm 04/07/06

Starring: Sharon Stone, David Morrissey, Charlotte Rampling, David Thewlis

Directed by: Michael Canton-Jones

Sony Pictures Official Site of the movie

I still can’t believe that Basic Instinct 2 came out and fizzled in such a spectacular fashion. I admit that I expected big things out of it. The first one was huge and for over a decade people have wanted a follow up. They’ve been waiting for another chapter in the life of the treacherous temptress Catherine Tramell. A character so deadly, so sexy, and so insane that society couldn’t help but make her a ledged of pop culture. The crossing and uncrossing of legs would never be the same. But after a pompous self-serving, underwhelming catastrophe of a sequel, will her character be remembered as a whip smart seductress or just a carefully timed pause on your DVD player? This movie was universally panned (for the most part, I haven’t found a positive review yet) and managed to only scrape together 5.8 million domestically in it’s 3 weeks in theaters. We’ve been hearing a lot about the importance of the over seas market ever since MI:III underperformed in America earlier this month, and while Basic instinct 2 didn’t exactly rock the casaba, it did pull in over 30 million which probably covered Stone’s paycheck and make up team.

So what the heck went wrong? Was the lack of Michael Douglas that damaging? I don’t think so. His replacement wasn’t as strong as him, but it’s not the male lead that fans find intriguing. Is it too easy to blame Sharon Stone? No, she downplays the whole movie and walks through it with zero passion, zero charisma, and zero presence. It’s as if she EXPECTS the audience to love her because she was so good in the first film. So she doesn’t bother to perform in this one.

A lot of the news is about how Stone looks. I admit that she actually looks pretty good. The comic says otherwise, but it’s all in good fun, in all seriousness, for a woman nearly 50, she looks incredible. It’s just easier to assume she doesn’t look good. I think that if we didn’t know it was Sharon Stone, if the movie wasn’t about how hot she’s supposed to be, people would be freaking out about how amazing this “unknown� actress is. If the movie itself were halfway successful we would have heard endless reports on Access Hollywood about how Sharon is the new Demi. Remember when Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle came out and people were freaking out about how great she looked? She’s got an amazingly stunning face but those abs freaked me out. That’s just me though.

Stone did look the part though, and her in and out acting could have been bearable if there was any story to build off of. Things do start of well enough. We join Tramell in Europe as she’s driving an expensive car very quickly through deserted streets while getting fingered by a very drugged up sports star. It’s fast and exciting and sexy and slick. Everything you want the sequel to Basic Instinct to be. When the car goes bursting off and crashing into a river, things are looking great! The movie is on the right track! But the sports stars death leads to an investigation and the movie slows to a crawl. The modern exteriors and thrilling pacing are replaced with old world classical settings and endless conversations about what old people think is sexy. You know what’s sexy? People 20 years younger than you.

The opening promised a new direction, an addition onto the story of this character, but as soon as she sets her sights on her therapist Dr. Glass, the movie rolls out the same plot points as the first film. It shifts into a very safe place and coasts until the end.

Glass was played by David Morrissey (Yeo and I had a 20 minute conversation debating whether or not this was the singer Morrissey. It’s not.). He’s not bad. I’d never seen him in anything before and thought he had this whole Liam Neeson thing going on. He’s got a good presence, but it wasn’t helping this movie any.

Ok, it’s not all awful. Not as terribly boring as I’ve made it out to be. The story makes sense, there’s no confusion, but there’s also no surprises. Not to mention suspense or tension. It’s just a story and it all plays out exactly as you’d expect. Considering the characters and the history involved, this could have gone in many different directions. The biggest disappointment is what could have been. Of course by now most of the world has forgotten about this movie and won’t even think about it again. Not until Sharon Stone’s next attempt at reviving her career. I wonder if she still has Scorsese’s number? Rating: 4 out of 10

Basic Instinct 2 was a huge let down to a lot of people, but most people are treating it as if it never existed. That could be for the best. I mean, it’s not a complete disaster, but there’s nothing in it so amazing that I could recommend it. It could have been worse though.

DVD Worthy?:

Uh…. no. I think a lot of people will be surprised that it doesn’t suck as hard as they’d heard, but no way people are going to want to watch it over and over again. It’s not even worth it for the nude scenes. That’s kind of scary. I think it will do pretty well on the rental charts though. People will want to see how bad it is for themselves. It’s a lot easier to add a crap movie to your Netflix cue then to drop 10 bucks on it in theaters.

If you liked this movie check out: Basic Instinct

The sequel was made for a reason. The first one is a brilliant and sexy thriller that shook up theaters in 1992. I rewatched it recently to refresh my memory and Stone and Douglas make a dangerous combination. The scenes between them are devilishly entertaining, well-crafted examples of psychological mischief. She’s REALLY messing with his head, and it’s fascinating.

Basic Instinct 2 achieves a similar vibe but it’s much less compelling. I blame Stone’s tired “are we there yet� underacting. It was too distracting. If you’re really into sexy thrill rides for an older crowd that are borderline but not technically classified as actual pornography, then you should check out the first Basic Instinct. It’s campy and exaggerated but compared to its ugly sequel, Basic Instinct 2 is the Citizen Kane of erotic thrillers.

Vote incentive:

Today I’m doubling up the vote incentives. First over at Buzz commix is the incentive image for Basic Instinct 2 where I’m giving you a sneak peek at how nasty Basic Instinct 3 could be. To spur interest in Top Web and remind folks to vote everyday, I’m continuing my month long event - What if Joe Was Laurence Fishburne? over there. Cast your vote to see Joe as Fishburne in Higher Learning. Thanks again for all the support, guys and gals. JLCM really has a presence in the Buzzcomix top 10 and I think it’s bringing over some new readers. Very cool, so thank you, and thank you again.

Non Movie Related Stuff.

I have to send some love to James over at Beaver and Steve. He’s also on the Buzzcomix list and last week was about to break into the top 10 before you guys pushed me past him and into his spot. He lovingly lashed out at JLCM on his site, but I still felt kind of bad. So please head on over and vote for another great comic/Boxcar brother Beaver and Steve.

James actually just put out a beautiful collection of the first batch of BnS strips that I had to get for myself. It’s stunning to see and read in your own two hands. Such an amazing strip. It’s really fantastic to see him take the leap to print. Congrats James.