Released: 03/17/06

Viewed: 2:20pm 03/17/06

Starring: Amanda Bynes, Channing Tatum, Vinnie Jones, David Cross

Directed by: Andy Fickman

Dreamworks Official Site of the movie

Report from George Jones agent 337 16:53 03/22/06

The last thing today's American teens need is another movie making light of sexuality. When I was a boy growing up in the great state of Wisconsin we didn't have gender swapping or gender confusion, and that's the way we liked it! If my pappy even caught me looking at a doll in a weird way he'd sit me down and say, "George Munroe Jones, you're a boy... and that's awesome! Don not forsake your genitalia!" Let me tell you, when you're hear that at 3 years old it really sticks with you.

Everyone remembers when Rodney Dangerfield made that movie where he dressed up the kid from Seaquest as a girl so his girl's soccer team could win the big game. And we all know what happen to Dangerfield after that. That's right - he DIED. 13 years and millions of dollars in success later he died. That's just how the grim reaper works. He'll get you when you least expect it.

One would think that Hollywood would have learned their lesson but no, 2006 brings us She's the Man a cutting edge teen comedy about disrespecting your elders and breaking the law to suit your own selfish needs. Despicable.

Amanda Bynes stars as Viola a talented girls soccer player who would make an excellent school teacher or nurse. When a lack of funding leads to the girl's squad getting cut she makes a foolhardy attempt to join the boys team. After rejection she devises a plan to steal her brothers identity so she can play soccer with the boys team at his elite boarding school.

Right there that's 3 laws broken.

As Viola faces the challenges of a dual life and tries to be accepted by her new male teammates I did find myself chuckling every now and then. Bynes, while looking nothing like a boy, manages to make the most of the role and really brings home the funny. If she weren't such a lying pathetic degenerate I might have actually said she were talented.

She is backed up by an excellent supporting cast of teens that manage not to screw up too badly, but it's two of the adult characters, which stood out the most to me. Vinnie Jones the Mean Machine plays the coach of the soccer team at the boarding school. He's a ruthless tyrant that will not take any disrespect from these privileged brats. For most of the movie he gives off that hard-as-steel exterior but shamelessly is forced to give in and let Viola play. A pathetic display having a man of such presence buckle under the power of a kid's movie.

The second role was that of the principle played by liberal stoner David Cross. It's no secret that Cross and I have a checkered past. I'll say it plain and straight: You're a dime store douche bag, Cross and I'll see you in hell. Where my job will be hitting your sack with a crowbar that's on fire.

Cross attempts to switch things up by playing the disciplinarian in She's the Man. An obvious attempt to score some points with the government he's been badmouthing for so long. We're watching you, jerkoff. But predictably he ends up being one of those weak Nancy boy administrators that tries to be the kid's friend. Kids need discipline! Rules! Curfews! Chastity Belts!

Cross's only commendable act is when he outs Viola's scheme to the entire school and her family at once with a bull horn in the middle of the soccer field. A lot of people would call that a completely ridiculous attempt to overly embarrass the child but I say "Humiliate them to everyone they know, and they'll never back talk again. Never. Ever."

Rating: 6 out of 10

In the end She's the Man was a mildly entertaining exercise in patients. I tried to think of it as Science Fiction, because if this ever happened in real life you better believe that Amanda Bynes would go straight to jail. And she's little enough, and sexy enough, where all her female cellmates would be lining up to be her "man" for her entire time there.

DVD worthy?:

No. The only DVD I own is Patton.

If you liked this movie check out: 10 Things I Hate About You

10 Things I Hate About You like She's the Man is based on a Shakespearean play and features a cast of sexually over charged teenagers disobeying their parents and the authority. If you liked Bynes aspiring to be a man you'll Julia Styles struggling to resist Heath Ledger. Now that's a man's man right there. I don't get out to the movies to often but Heath Ledger loves the ladies. He should make a cowboy movie. Show people what a real man should act like.

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Folks over at the Web Comic List are still having a problem with there site. I sure hope they get it fixed soon so I don't need to make a phone call. You know what I'm talking about.

Non movie related stuff:

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