Released: 02/17/06

Viewed: 4:25pm 02/27/06

Starring: Alyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell, Jennifer Coolidge, Eddie Griffin, Fred Williard

Directed by: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer

20th Century Fox Official Site of the movie

I know exactly how funny Date Movie is. I know that it is exactly 8 laughs 3 chuckles and 4 smiles funny. And yes, the fact that I know this is a bad sign. It means not only were there few enough laughs to count, but that I was so bored I could take the time to count them. Rookie directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer give it a real shot and hit big with a couple of good gags, but the majority of the film is so offensively unfunny that I sort of felt like I was watching a long episode of Mamma's Family. Not sure why I decided to pick on Mamma's Family right there. Really hated that show.

When I say "offensively unfunny" I in no way mean that the actual subject matter is offensive. If I can deal with Jews in Space and Jive Talking Old Ladies, I can certainly deal with a couple of fat people joke. The jokes are offensive in that they are just trying way too hard to be funny. Too obvious. It reeks of desperation. I felt very uncomfortable sitting in a silenced theater as the dialogue of the movie stops where people are supposed to be laughing. It was like a sitcom without a laugh track and every pause just made you feel sorry for them.

But those 8 laughs are pretty strong. A couple I would even dare to say are quite clever, but most of them are from me just being a huge Eddie Griffin fan. I sware, he can stand there and just look at some white dude and I'll start laughing.

Date Movie is about Julia Jones (Alyson Hannigan) who longs for love and sets out to meet Mr. Perfect. Through the process of meeting him and introducing him to her parents we're taken on journey through about 87 different movie parodies. All of them are obvious to the point where some dialogue was lifted verbatim and just put into a slightly different setting. I'm ok with that, because you want to make what you're parodying clear to the audience. That connection, in theory, will make the joke funnier. It doesn't in Date Movie. Mostly because they're biting off romantic comedies for a movie that is a comedy romance. It's the same scenes with a little more comedy added in. Just for the record, adding Michael Jackson into the background of a scene does not make it funnier. Although a tall glass of Jesus Juice might help this movie go down a little smoother.

I like Alyson Hannigan. Love her new show How I met Your Mother and over the past couple of years she's really turned into a cutie. Never thought much of her on Buffy, but she really is a stunning woman with a lot of good comic sensibilities. She has a lot of natural skills with timing and what's actually funny. Watching her tread through this swamp of would be jokes and under done gags is a truly miserable experience.

The movie also features Fred "collecting a paycheck" Willard who is funny but? he's always funny. He can add a lot to a role, but the fact that he'll do pretty much anything that falls in his lap is a complete turn off.

While watching I couldn't have been less interested in Date Movie. Every joke was a stretch. The down time and set up were lulling me to sleep. And it's not like I wasn't properly warned. More than a dozen people told me to avoid it. To be honest though that just made me want to see it more. I think I have a serious problem. Is there a crappy movie group therapy class in New York City?

1.5 out of 10

A couple of solid laughs but not nearly enough to make this monstrosity worth sitting through. It's an empty vessel of misguided jokes with no direction, no purpose, and no value. I dare you to go to this movie on a first date. I give the relationship 20 minutes.

DVD worthy?: I think I would buy multiple copies of all 3 Scary Movies before buying this. I might rent it if I ever have to torture someone or as a sleep aid.

If you liked this movie check out: Loaded Weapon 1

If you liked this movie then you like parody humor and my least favorite crappy parody (until this movie popped up) was Loaded Weapon 1. It was somehow crappier because Samuel L. Jackson is in it. He's way too cool to be slumming it. Anyway ig you like this movie you like parody, more specifically you like bad parody, so this is the way to go. If you'd like to see it done right, watch Spaceballs Young Frankenstein and Airplane! .

Trailer Hitch: Just My Luck

Lindsay Lohan officially throws herself into the grown up romantic comedy. No more high school drama, no more crushing in math class. Lohan now plays a young professional that goes clubbing and makes out with strangers and for some reason goes to visit a psychic of some kind.

I buy it, but the movie looks horrible. The trailer is so detailed and so through in it's spoiling of the plot that I feel comfortable saying the movie sucks even without seeing it. Well, maybe that's a little harsh but slap stick situational humor could so easily be played by any old Meg Ryan. If you read my review of Herbie Fully Loaded you know I expect more from Lohan. Plus it has this whole sci-fi romantic comedy angle that didn't sit well with me in last years13 Going on 30 or Just Like Heaven. Hey wait. Why wasn't Ruffalo available for this one?

Vote Bonus:

Vote today and see me work out my troubles in that crappy movie group therapy class I mentioned above. We all have problems. Admitting them is the first step. I wonder what a 12 step program for crappy movie watchers would be like. Throw out all DVD's with David Spade in them? apologies to anyone you made watch a crappy movie? watch nothing but good movies for a month?

Non movie related stuff:

Thanks for reading, guys! No real non-related news today just the same old stuff. I did read through Hate Song today and was really impressed. That strip just joined up with Boxcar and I admit I was only somewhat aware of the strip. Reading through the archives was awesome though. Such great stuff.