Released: 02/03/06

Viewed: 2:25pm 02/03/06

Starring: Camilla Belle, Tommy Flanagan, Tessa Thompson, Brian Geraghty

Directed by: Simon West

Sony Pictures Official Site of the movie

Modern horror movies have taken things to a new level. Unfortunately Hollywood is out of ideas so they go to the well taking old classics and giving them the special upgrade treatment. Quick cuts, snappy dialogue, product placement, and over the top gore now replace what used to be traditional psychological terror. When a Stranger Calls dodged all those traps. There's not one Starbucks cup, rapper turned actor, or Good Charlotte song to be found! And somehow it still sucks hard.

Ok, I'm through being coy; it sucks because of the rating. No horror movie should be cursed with PG-13. As soon as you drop below the R you throw out all the things about a horror movie that make them awesome. No R, no blood. No R, no unnecessary cursing. No R, no boobs. The most graphic image in this movie is a cat eating a bird. And you call yourself a horror movie? tsk tsk tsk.

Now, in all seriousness, those aren't the best parts of a horror movie, even a PG-13 movie can seriously mess with your head, but the rating does set up a massive amount of limitations. The rating is set in place to draw in a larger crowd. Tweens need to have their horror fix too, and I'm sure it will work. I saw this at three in the afternoon and it was a huge mistake because school had just let out. I swear the yellow busses were just dropping them off right outside the theater. The movie will be huge for all of the wrong reasons.

When a Stranger Calls works that PG-13 to the bone though. Not being able to show anything to graphic, they really play up atmosphere. It's like the jazz of horror. It's not about the notes they play, it's about the notes they're not playing.

There are about 10 noteworthy jumps in the movie that are pretty effective. Not really scary, but they are set up in a way that it just works. 3 or 4 of the 10 I would even call great jumps. But someone should get fired because all 4 of them are revealed in the trailer. If you haven't seen the trailer and are interested in the movie don't read the next paragraph. It has "trailer" spoilers. Who the hell am I kidding? Is anyone actually interested in this movie?

Ok, the caller being in the house was a given, it's the big thing in the movie, but teens today don't know about the original. If they had left that out of the trailer it would have been a huge fright. Caller in the rafters - awesome, but plain as day in the trailer. And they NEVER should have revealed that the kids weren't in bed. That's ridiculous. It's one of the bigger "you're screwed" moments in the movie that they just blow. Bad trailer making.

OK, TRAILER SPOILERS OVER.

There's not one relaxing moment in the movie. From opening credits to closing credits it's nothing but creepy music and intense looks. I think that stinks. One of the best parts of a good horror movie is the down time. Let your audience feel safe ? then BAM! Scare the hell out of them. Stranger is just endless faulty lights and ridiculously loud ringing.

Don't get me started on the phone. After 12 incoming calls and 16 outgoing I lost count. She was freaking out and calling the police way too early. I mean, good for her. She survived, but she called the cops after only 3 0r 4 crank calls. Freakin' teens and their drama.

I did love the setting. It takes place in this huge scary house that was ultra modern and had lots of the necessary horror movie elements like hiding places and wacky mood lighting. Director Simon West spends a lot of time setting up the environment as the young babysitter explores the house. Fantastic decision because they revealing the entire house. By the time all the action takes place in the third act, you know the layout of the place. You know all the secrets. It makes that action that much more rewarding.

That chase through the house at the end was pretty cool. Camilla Belle who does a good job of being freaked out for the first hour, is still really believable when she turns tough at the end. That could have gone either way, but she made it work. The best part in that final scene was that they don't reveal the callers face until everything is completely over. That added a lot of creepiness to things because part of you is still playing the guessing game of who the caller is. I was disappointed with the eventual reveal. Seemed like a throw away.

It made me kind of wish the killer was a rapper turned actor. It made me miss one of the cops at the end showing off his can of Pepsi. It made me miss the Good Charlotte song during the closing credits. Ok, maybe not that last one. Part of me thinks that a little of the "Hollywood remake" flashiness would have helped the movie a little. Say what you want about modern horror movies like Scream, Dawn of the Dead, hell even The Fog (to a degree), as faulty as they may be they're still fun to watch.

Stranger does what it can but it was a big let down. I'm going to point the biggest fingers of blame at the PG-13 rating and TV spots for giving away the best moments. That's no good. 3 out of 10 1 point for the semi-decent battle, 1 point for a leading actress that is young, cute and most importantly believable, and one point? uh? for your momma.

DVD worthy?: No chance. Now that I know where all the jumps are, the only suspense they had going for them is completely gone.

If you liked this movie check out: Fear

That house in Stranger rocked. The high tech setting with motion sensor lighting and endless nooks and crannies gives these characters not only an environment to play in, but also endless possibilities of how to play. The House becomes a character.

I've seen settings used as well or better in other movies, but none like Fear starring Reese Witherspoon, William Peterson, and fresh from his Calvin Kline underwear shoot Mark Wahlberg. The house in Fear plays such a major role in the plot. And wisely, just as they did in Stranger, a good portion of the movie is used setting up exactly how the house works.

When Whalberg and his cronies let loose on that house the real fun is seeing the things you've learned being used. Fears a great thriller that helped Mark and Reese come along in the industry. Check it out.

Trailer Hitch: Silent Hill

Hoooolllyyyyy CRAaaaaaap! I can't deal with it. Silent Hill was always one of those games I couldn't deal with. Running through the streets with the radio fighting monsters in the fog ? no problemo. Creepy elementary school and elevator that suddenly has a new floor that leads to hell ? Mucho problemo. I myself never got much further than that, but I can testify that the trailer is true to some of the moments I played. The road that comes to an abrupt end, the fog, the motorcycle cop. It's all there, and it's all still very creepy.

I almost want to avoid it because of the relationship I have with it, but the cast is too awesome. Sean Bean whose I'll go see in anything, and Radha Mitchell who won my heart in Pitch Black. (The good Vin Diesel movie!) The trailer does look sufficiently creepy, but the effects are either awesome or awkward. We'll see. Might play better without the random cuts.

Today's incentive is the dangerous basket of puppies! Come on, you have to vote for the basket full for puppies. In other voting news the month long event in February has gotten off to a great start. I'm calling it Joe Loses an Eye and for those who don't know or can't figure it out from the title, I'll be doing daily incentive images every weekday of me losing an eye. There've been three so far and just to get you on board I'm happy to show you the first two. Don't forget to vote everyday!

Non movie related stuff:

I've made two unique updates to Clickwheel today that some of you may be interested in. One is a collection of all the incentive images from the month of January. That's 13 images featuring everything from Johnny Knoxville as the fog to The Rock as a Tetris piece. I got this idea from Tom who uses his incentive images individually through his Clickwheel set up. So spread the love and download his as well. I liked the idea of collecting all these incentive images together, because it's not something that's easily available on line at any given time. Plus it's gotta be pretty cool to scroll through the images on the ipod.

The other unique update is actually the first JLCM strip ever created. One that never made it onto the site. It was back in the days when I was still figuring out how I wanted to handle the strip. What avenues I wanted to explore, how I wanted it to look, things I wanted to cover. Stuff like that. I did two back in February of last year for Constantine and Sideways. The reason neither made it to the archives is because they were very rough in the joke department. I never fully believed in them, and also waited too long before putting them up. JLCM didn't start up until April 4th and by then both movies were long gone. My eyes were set on the future.

Still, they exist, and have their place in the history of JLCM so I wanted to share them. I only put up the one for Constantine, but Sideways will follow next week. The joke is lame, but like I said, I was just testing it out. From the bat I knew that I wanted it to be a combination of my life, and the characters in the movies or the creators making the movies. The Constantine one came down to me really wanting to make a cool image.

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes on comic 100. It means a lot to hear from so many people. And thanks to Brandon for sliding his congratulations into the latest issue of The Kenmore.

Stranger is the big release this weekend and I'm glad it's light. Next week is going to be completely insane with Firewall, Pink Panther, Final Destination 3, and Curious George. For what it's worth my interest in the movies pretty much goes in that order.