Prison Break: The Conspiracy

A while back, I named Prison Break one of the top five tv shows that I'd like to see made into a video game. It looks like someone out there was reading because now we have Prison Break: The Conspiracy. And for that, I am eternally sorry.

Prison Break: The Conspiracy takes the road less traveled when it comes to games based on licensed properties. Instead of taking control of one of the main characters, you play the role of Tom Paxton, an agent of the Company, the shadowy organization responsible for... something bad? (It's been a while since I watched Prison Break so I'm not entirely sure I can adequately explain the convoluted maze of that supposed sinister organization...) You're inserted into the events of season one of the show, trying to prevent the titular escape.

If you're a fan of the show, the game has a few things for you. The voices and likenesses for the main characters are all there, Michael Schofield (Wentworth Miller), Lincoln Burrows (Dominic Purcell), T-Bag (Robert Knepper) and a few others. But you interact with those characters so little that it almost doesn't seem worth what the developers must have paid for the likenesses. And it also seems to highlight exactly what likenesses they couldn't get. Sure you're not really going to miss the likeness of prison guard number 3, but smaller but important characters like Dr Tancredi or Westmoreland feel out of place with their generic character models.

Gameplay can be divided into three distinct parts: combat, stealth and quick time events. On the surface, there is a little depth in the combat system. You have a punch, a hard punch and a block, which when timed right can allow you to counter punches. But why bother learning the intricacies of the combat system when mashing the punch button will work just fine? There are a few scripted fights and you can participate in underground fights for money or just pick a fight with random inmates. But it's probably not something you'll opt to do unless mashing one button is your idea of fun.

The stealth portions make up the majority of the game... unfortunately those sequences are rigid and unforgiving. There's only one correct path between you and your destination and if you make one mistake, you'll need to start the entire sequence over again. Unlike stealth in games like Metal Gear Solid and Batman: Arkham Asylum where you have a plethora of techniques to get around unnoticed, in Prison Break you only have one tool, hiding behind things. If there were more flexibility or forgiveness in the stealth sequences, they might actually be fun. But as they are, they just feel tedious.

But of all the things that Prison Break does wrong, the quick time events are the worst offender. Like the stealth gameplay, the quick time events are unforgiving. I'm all for a challenge, but the quick time events in Prison Break border on sadism. Not only is the window to press the correct button tiny, but in some instances, you'll need to mash one button and then quickly hit another with little room for error. I came to loathe and fear the quick time events because I knew inevitably I'd have to play them (and hear the same bits of dialogue) at least ten times over before I could pass and move on.

Prison Break: The Conspiracy makes me rethink why I ever thought the show would make a good game. I can't believe that anyone who worked on the gameplay has ever played a game in their life. Just a few tweaks here and there and it would have been serviceable. Not good, mind you but serviceable. Or maybe I'm just missing the point of the game? After all, the entire point of prison is to serve as a punishment. If that's the case, Prison Break: The Conspiracy totally works.

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